"TESTS" By Brad Marcum bdmarcum@kih.net The characters, worlds, heck, the very universe itself belongs to Paramount. The story, however belongs to me. My heartfelt gratitude also goes out to Angie Matney, without who this part of "Tests" would not be possible. Your patience, skill, and helpfulness are greatly appreciated. I would like to gratefully acknowledge the assistance of OdoGodess, in providing me with the following Bajoran words of her own creation: jzelld - the thick smelly snotlike trail Bajoran tree slugs leave behind, and paluk'at - a loose term for a rabid person who isn't particular about who they mate. Many thanks to Cristy Ruteshouser for allowing me to use the term "kivik". Which is the Bajoran equivalent to an Earth cow. And last, but definitely not least, thanks to Carolyn R. Fulton for allowing me to use her invention "Kistrel". A game resembling chess, of Bajoran origin. And without further ado... on with the story. --------------------------------------------------------- "Damn Starfleet, damn the Federation, and damn these tests!" First officer Kira Nerys of Deep Space Nine exclaimed as she flung the PADD labeled "StarFleet equivalency exam, Part 4 of 20" onto the smaller of two piles of PADDS arrayed before her on her dining table. She had asked to begin her academy examinations early in anticipation of the announcement of Bajor's acceptance into the Federation. It had been going around the station rumor mill for weeks now, and every time she had asked Captain Sisko or Dax about it, they would only wink or smile. She wondered how big a change it would be, serving in Starfleet instead of the Militia... Commander Kira did have a ring to it after all... Kira had never spent much time in a classroom, forced instead to spend her childhood learning better ways to kill Cardassians. Her education had been spotty at best, learned mostly in caves and around campfires from the older members of her resistance cell. Even so, she had never felt the lack, and it had never affected her job, since she had spent many nights since her assignment to DS9 studying Starfleet protocols and procedures. What she hadn't prepared for however, was the Starfleet obsession for "Why" and "How". She had always operated under the assumption that if one knew "a+b=c", it didn't matter *WHY* it did so. If she read one more "Explain the theory behind..." question she was going to scream. Or kill someone. Maybe both... She sighed resignedly as she rose, with some difficulty, from her chair and waddled over to the replicator. "Computer, one Rakta'jino, double kava, extra hot." She sipped gratefully at her favorite beverage. They were fewer and farther between now; Miles and Keiko had been making concerned noises about her caffeine consumption since her pregnancy had really begun to show. She wasn't an addict... she just liked her coffee that's all... *yeah, right Nerys, tell it to the arbiter*, she thought as she crossed back over to the table and picked up the next PADD on the list. She thumbed the "on" button and the screen lit up. "Starfleet equivalency exam, part 5 of 20: Psych Evaluation" She groaned as she read the first question. "Describe and discuss in detail your fondest childhood memory." She sat back down and put her head in her hands. "Well let's see..." she began, her voice heavy with irony "there's that time I killed two Cardassians with one shot of my phaser rifle when I was 13...disintegrated the one and fried the one next to 'im... no, that got me a lecture from Shakaar." She had had her phaser set to maximum power instead of the minimum needed to kill her enemy. He had dressed her down for wasting precious weapon energy in front of the whole cell. She had felt so ashamed she'd wanted to crawl away and hide, until Lupaza and Furel had started making faces at her behind Shakaar's back... Shakaar... she would never have guessed he would become to her what he had. Her pride still smarted from his visit the week before, his announcement that he had found someone else and would like to begin the rite of separation. She hadn't been surprised, she had felt the distance growing between them and had been thinking of breaking it off herself. But it hurt, being the one *rejected*, not the one rejecting. With an effort of will, she put the whole incident out of her mind and tried to concentrate. "I think I'll skip that one for now" she mumbled to herself as she scanned on down to the next question. " Select a non Bajoran, non Starfleet individual whom you consider a close friend. Describe why you consider that person a friend. Discuss how your life has been altered or affected by said individual in both positive and negative instances. In conclusion, have said person answer the above questions as they relate to you and compare and contrast your answers." Kira sat for a moment, letting the question sink in. She read it again. No it hadn't changed, it was still as idiotic as the first time around. Well, she didn't have many non Bajoran friends to begin with, and almost none if you discounted her coworkers. *Who'm I gonna ask to do something like this? It's embarrassing enough to tell some stranger at Starfleet about my sordid childhood, but now I've got to dissect my friendships too?* *Hell with it... I've had enough for one night. I'll pick it back up tomorrow... now what am I going to do? It's 2500 hours and I couldn't sleep to save my Pagh. I wonder if Dax is still up? Maybe she'll have some ideas.* "Computer, location of Lt. Commander Dax?" The polite, impersonal voice of the computer promptly intoned "Lt. Commander Jadzia Dax is at Quark's Bar." * I might have known*, she thought as she exited her quarters, only slightly slowed by her unexpected passenger of two and a half months. Lt. Commander Jadzia Dax was having what could be called a "good" evening. First, she had FINALLY solved the Altonian Brain Teaser she had been working on for the past 3 lifetimes. Then she had cleaned out the Tongo hustler Quark had brought in "to teach her some manners". All in all, a pretty fair day. She grinned at the shouted insults of the disgruntled Ferengi that were still audible as she passed out of Quark's carrying a very heavy satchel loaded with latinum. As she turned toward the turbolifts that would carry her to her quarters, she encountered Major Kira , whose slumped shoulders and downcast features broadcast her mood to the promenade at large. "Hello Kira, what brings you out at this hour?" Dax hazarded as Kira fell into step beside her. "I assumed Miles and Keiko would have had you safely tucked in bed hours ago." A sheepish grin answered, "I snuck out... back to my quarters to work on those stupid Starfleet exams *YOU* talked me into taking . I got stuck, so I figured I'd see if I could find you and ask your advice." "As a Starfleet officer, you know I'm not supposed to help you, don't you?" Dax replied as she steered the obviously troubled Major towards a seat in the Replimat. "Since when have you cared about rules or regulations? You're just like me, just not so obvious about it, that's all... anyway, I wasn't going to ask you to *cheat* for me or anything. It's just that... Well..." "Spit it out Nerys, you know I'll help you in any way I can." Dax moved the bag aside as she reached across the table to pat Kira's clenched hands. "Well... it's that stupid Psych test. Asking me questions about things I don't want to think about, much less tell complete strangers about... " Kira continued to fill in the Trill on the details of her latest roadblock to Starfleet admission. "So... let me get this straight, you can't think of anyone you'd want to ask to help you with this? I can't believe you don't have any friends who'd qualify, Nerys!" "Believe it... During the Occupation, about the only offworlders we Bajorans ever saw were Cardassians or their cronies. Not much chance of striking up a friendship there. Since I came to DS9 I've found friendships with several *aliens*." Kira smiled to take the sting from the word. "Including yourself. But they're all Starfleet, so I can't ask THEM either". "What about Legate Gamor? I'm sure he'd jump at the chance to help the 'closest thing he has to a daughter', don't you think?" "I thought about him... but he's got a lot of enemies, both in Cardassia and elsewhere. I don't think it would be wise to let our relationship become common knowledge. It'd be seen as a weakness to exploit by his enemies and he's too important to the Cardassian opposition to take any chances. I don't think I'm up to fighting off would be kidnappers and assassins at the moment, anyway." She added as she placed her hand on her abdomen and felt the youngest O'brien kick energetically. "Well, there's always Odo. I'm sure he'd do anything *you* asked." Kira totally missed the inference and the look Dax sent her way. "Technically, he's not Bajoran - even if he does have a commission in the Militia and is listed in the official census." "Odo... I don't know. He and I don't associate so much lately. He pretty much keeps his distance anymore. He even cancelled our weekly "criminal activities" meetings... said he didn't have the free time. Sticking to the *essentials* is what he called it. At first I thought he was just uncomfortable with how close our friendship had become... you know, he was the first person I told about me and Shakaar... then I hugged him and told him what a good friend he was. I was so giddy and bubbly - acting like a love struck teenager, he must have been disgusted...". I know he considers "humanoid mating rituals" silly and a waste of time. "Then, over the next few weeks, he just gradually backed out of my life. We never talk anymore. Did you know, he and I used to sit in his office or in my quarters and talk for hours? About anything and everything: politics,the Caronet standings on Bajor, military policy, religion, you name it. Every time I had a problem, I'd bring it to him. He'd always know what to say or do to make me do the right thing." "I don't know what I'd have done without him after Bareil died. Probably would've went out and killed Kai Winn and be in Krantol-bal prison right now. " Both Kira and Dax smiled mirthlessly at the thought. "Finally, it occurred to me that maybe I'd offended him or hurt his feelings in some way instead. So I went and confronted him about it. He was very *official* about the whole thing. " "No Major, you haven't offended me... No Major, I'm not uncomfortable around you... No, *Major* I haven't dropped you like a hot rock... excuse me, I have some reports I must file...", Kira mimicked. "How could I hurt his feelings anyway? He doesn't get all mushy and sentimental like us *humanoids* anyway". Dax covered her disgust at Nerys' obtuseness and utter insensitivity by rubbing at her suddenly tired eyes. Sometimes this whole star crossed lovers thing made her want to shake her Bajoran friend until her teeth rattled or place several well aimed kicks to Odo's behind. Wherever that was... She'd had strong suspicions about Odo's feelings for Kira long before her new memories acquired during her Zhiantara confirmed it. Several others on the station had probably picked up on it by now, most notably Quark, and probably Garak, who always kept an eye on people's motivations more closely than they often did themselves. This whole mess worried her, but there wasn't a lot she could do about it short of dropping hints to an oblivious Nerys or prodding an uncooperative Odo, without both violating her oath taken at Joining and the one she'd made to herself a few lifetimes ago, after a disastrous attempt at playing matchmaker had cost her two friendships and left the would be lovers hating each other. Some rules were *NOT* made to be broken, regardless of what Kira had to say on the matter. She had to do something, though. Maybe if she could get Kira thinking... "I think you'd be surprised Nerys. What makes you think he doesn't have feelings anyway?" Dax countered with more heat than she intended. "I... I don't know... he always said..." "You know what I think? You and Odo are two of a kind. You're such blunt instruments to the rest of the world, and you've gotten so used to taking each other at face value that you don't even question something the other says. Did he tell *YOU* that he didn't have feelings?" "Well... no... but..." Kira broke off, obviously surprised by Dax's intense manner and direct almost angry, gaze. "How'd you find out then?" "I overheard Quark talking to Morn about it, alright!" Kira flared. "He said Odo had told him that humanoid mating rituals were silly and pointless, and that he had no need of such *diversions*". Dax couldn't resist. "What's that got to do with your friendship?" "He'd never have feelings for... anyone." Kira's face colored slightly as Dax raised an eyebrow at her choice of words, "It follows, doesn't it? If you don't *feel* THAT, you wouldn't feel much of anything, would you?" "Alright then Kira, consider this. This little conversation in question probably took place at Quark's. Quark was probably trying sell Odo a pornographic holoprogram in front of a bunch of his cronies. You know Odo ... what could he do? What would he say?" "He'd use his standard *I'm a changeling - I'm not like you* defense and distance himself from the attack... ridicule the very idea, so as not to give Quark an opening." Kira's eyes narrowed and Dax could practically hear the wheels turning. *At last... she's finally getting the message...* "So... Odo really does care about me then." *YES*... go on... "This is just one of those little bumps in the road that friends go through from time to time. I *have* offended him in some way and he's too proud to admit it, and it's up to me to fix it." Kira leaned back in her chair, staring at the ceiling, obviously deep in thought. Thereby missing Dax's slumped shoulders and grimace that signalled yet another defeat for the would be Cupid. Dax could almost picture old Curzon hopping up and down in frustration. If not for the influence of the symbiont and Jadzia and at least two other previous hosts combined, Curzon would have told all in that moment of sheer frustration. Oath or not. "I'm going to have to corner Odo and drag the truth out of him. No excuses this time." Kira said almost to herself. "Maybe a flowery apology... or something. Nah... he wouldn't like that." "Maybe a bouquet of roses?" Dax inserted innocently. Kira absently considered it before realizing Jadzia was joking. "Very Funny." "You really do care about him, don't you? If it'd been anybody else, you'd already have tossed them out an airlock by now, wouldn't you?" "Probably. He's the closest friend I've ever had. He knows me better than anyone alive. I just wish I knew him as well as he knows me..." Kira returned to studying the ceiling. Dax broke in on her reverie, sensing a spark of hope that needed to be fanned. "Just be yourself Kira, and don't give up on him. He's worth the trouble. Believe me, I know." She tapped her temple with one forefinger. Heading off the obvious question hovering on Kira's lips, Dax rose and placed the bag in front of Kira after taking a handful of latinum from it. "Here, you take this". At Kira's questioning look she replied "Take it and donate it to charity. I'm sure Quark would be gratified to know his money is helping rebuild Bajor. I'll keep this, though. I'll need this much for the next time Quark calls in a *ringer*..." With that she strolled off down the promenade, whistling an old tune from her home world. *Maybe it was going to be an even better day than she'd thought*. Kira watched her go, her mind awhirl as she began the process of reassessing how she thought about her friend. *Odo has the same emotions as us 'humanoids'. He's not that different from m... us after all. He can feel things... Humor. Fear. Anger. Pleasure. Pain. Hate. Love...* Her own reaction at the possibility surprised her. And scared her. A little... no, make that a lot... A vivid image of Odo's fine boned, delicate seeming hands sprang into her mind. She remembered the time she had clutched those hands, hoping to use Odo to fend off the unwanted advances of that smuggler. She'd called him *sweetheart*, and thought it was hilarious the way he'd looked at her with that stunned look on his usually expressionless face. Why did she remember *exactly* what his hands had felt like? She could remember how his hands were warmer than the usual humanoids. The details of every perfectly formed knuckle down to the immaculately manicured nails... "Get ahold of yourself, Nerys." she muttered to herself as she hauled the bag up to her shoulder and left the Replimat, heading for her room in the Obrien's quarters. *You're on the rebound from Shakaar... you're vulnerable right now... For Prophet's sake! You're 2 and a half months pregnant...you know what that does to a Bajoran woman's libido. Hell, you've even been fantasizing about Miles, so -this- isn't THAT unusual... You have got to get some distance and sort out this mess. Maybe spend some time in the temple, some meditation might help...* Her thoughts broke off as she passed the security office. A small light was burning in the back, throwing a dim illumination into the front office. She peered through the glass, placing a hand against the doors as she searched the shadows for any sign of the Constable. Suddenly conscious of what she was doing and how unready she was to speak to Odo at the moment, she dropped her hand after a few more seconds and continued on down the promenade to her bed and hopefully a few hours of sleep. **** Odo customarily spent this time of night regenerating or practicing shapeshifting. Either of which was normally accomplished in the privacy of his quarters. Tonight was an exception, however. He had covertly downloaded a new batch of romance novels from the Federation literary archives earlier that day. Finally, unable to resist at least scanning one of them, he had decided to take a break before finishing his work for the night. His final security report forgotten, he had become immersed in its pages, and had lost track of the time. He was developing a weakness for these "bodice ripper" novels. A weakness he'd rather not have... *Well, every *man* has to have at least one vice. Even if it's not his first choice*. Odo thought to himself, his customary sarcasm firmly in place. As he stood and moved to shut down his security console for the night, the Constable caught a flicker of movement outside his office windows. Instantly alert, he moved back against the wall. *Anyone creeping about my office at this time of night is bound to be up to no good.* The Constable's form began to flatten and elongate, his coloring changing to exactly match the wall behind. He kept his basic humanoid shape, the better to move quickly, should the need arise. He waited, as the movement resolved itself into a shadow, then a figure, outlined against the night cycle lighting of the promenade. It moved with an awkward, strangely familiar gait to the office doors. *Kira!?* *What's she doing here?* As the Major moved towards the doors, Odo sharpened his visual acuity to take in the full details of her shadowed form. He noticed the obviously heavy bag, whose weight she was leaning to one side to compensate for. *What's she carrying?* His gaze moved from the bag. Up, along the lines of her body, frankly gazing at the now more rounded contours, stopping at the most obvious sign of the child she was carrying. *Prophets, she's more beautiful than ever...* All the pent up emotions he had tried to distance himself from over the past few weeks welled up within him. He'd thought he'd achieved some measure of success in destroying the foolish notions he'd been harboring towards the Major. It appeared he had been wrong... He moved on to her heart shaped face, which held a contemplative, almost poignant expression as she examined the interior of his office. He watched as she raised a hand to the door, thinking she meant to trigger its opening mechanism. Instead, she merely placed it on the door itself for a few moments before turning and moving on. After hurriedly reforming, Odo sat heavily in his chair. His eyes were wide with disbelief. After fifty seven years of constant study, he'd always prided himself on his ability to read humanoid facial expressions and body language. He'd learned to trust his instincts in such matters. Until now... It was a completely familiar expression. He had seen it often enough in his mirror. For, on the face of Kira Nerys, had been a hopeless look of sheer longing and sadness. Could it have been directed at him?... *Ridiculous!* Odo snorted in derision at himself and his delusions. He was going to have to stop reading those blasted novels. They were affecting his judgement, and he needed to be above this morass of humanoid silliness. *But what was she doing then, -Constable-?* The thought snuck through his mind, cutting away the callus he'd built around his heart, laying bare the raw emotions he'd been desperately trying to hide from his best friend. His best efforts to maintain his detachment were hopeless, and he blindly groped for some tool to help him lock away his feelings, lest she see it all in his eyes the next time they spoke. *Your duties, of course. The "Justice Trick". That's the only thing you've ever needed... retreat into Security and be the outsider again. It's what you're good at. Coward...* Without even really consciously considering it, Odo rose and exited the Security office, sticking to the shadows and passing unnoticed, as only a changeling could. Following the path the Major had taken, he slowed as her form came into sight. She would be unaware, as always, but she would have a silent guardian to watch over her as she walked through the darkness. **** Major Kira went over her plan of battle once again in her mind as she strode purposefully down the promenade. It was busier than usual, but after noting her clenched fists and angry stride, not to mention her not inconsiderable girth, the knots of passerby always seemed to part in front of the scowling Bajoran. Most of the station regulars knew enough to get out of her way when she was in one of her famous "moods", and those that didn't or who were new to the station soon regretted their error. She had acquired a reputation for aggressiveness and bad temper far beyond the norm for a Bajoran female, who themselves were widely acknowledged in the sector for their "assertive" tendencies. Much as Romulans were known for their deviousness and Klingons for their love of combat... Kira rather liked that; it made it much easier to deal with some of the more difficult and/or irritating people she had to interact with in execution of her duties. It dissuaded all but the most ardent petty bureacrats and functionaries, and even then a raised eyebrow or dangerous look often sent them scurrying. She didn't give it any thought at the moment though, her mind was occupied by weightier matters. She had asked for and received a couple of days leave time from her large accumulation and had spent them mostly alone either in her quarters or in the temple thinking and meditating. Some things had become pretty obvious after she'd taken the time to think things through. She knew now that she had been harboring some decidedly unplatonic feelings for the Constable for some time. Kira, unaccustomed to examining her feelings beyond the immediate moment, had come to realize that she hadn't ever really felt much beyond friendship for Shakaar, other than a physical attraction. She had used him... Used him as a replacement for a man she was afraid to approach, much less pursue. This was an entirely new sensation for her... Kira, as most Bajoran women, considered it only natural to actively pursue someone she found attractive. She had done so numerous times before with varying degrees of success. But never with this kind of trepidation. A couple of Starfleet crewmen scurried out of her path as she shot them a look that would have burned through duranium plating. The trouble was, she didn't know for sure whether he wanted to be her friend, much less anything more. She almost punched a ponderous Pakled who seemed unimpressed by the few choice Bajoran curse words she tossed his way as he almost trampled her, forcing her to move aside by sheer mass alone. *Why am I so angry?* She suddenly realized that she was so agitated that her hands were shaking as they clenched around the PADD she carried. She stopped as she came into view of the Security Office and took a moment to compose herself. *Because you're ashamed of yourself for using a friend like that... Mad at yourself for being so spineless... because this is the only way you're going to get the nerve up to go in there.* She got a few strange looks as she stood there in the middle of the promenade staring into nothing. Finally, she noticed and moved out of the main stream of passers by to a shop front and pretended to study her PADD. *Why are you so afraid of him now, Nerys?* She asked herself. *You've faced up to worse things than this. You've laughed in the face of Cardassian Guls and dared them to do their worst. You survived the interrogation centers...* She shuddered involuntarily at those dark memories. *He could do more damage with a few words than a half dozen Cardassian interrogators with a room full of torture equipment. That's why, stupid.* This wasn't getting her anywhere. She going to have to heal their friendship before she could worry about anything else. She didn't have to tell Odo right now, she could talk to him like she'd planned and hopefully get him to fill out that damned report. *All right... I make sure he's alone... then I seal the doors...* Kira ran on through the list she had concocted once she had reached the decision to go ahead with her plan. After finishing her list, she squared her shoulders and marched up to Odo's door and stepped inside, bracing for the worst... **** Odo sat at his desk, only vaguely listening to Quark as he whined on about the evening devotional the monks from the Temple had planned for the promenade in front of Quark's that evening. Evidently he felt they were going to cut into his profits... "The sermon going to be about the holiness of 'abstinence' and 'thrift', Odo! I asked the Vedek himself. He ADMITTED they were going to try to lure my customers away from me! That's restriction of free trade! They're gonna be right in front of my main entrance! They'll be blocking lawful entrance and egress! They're over there right now setting up... Well, are you going to do anything? It's a fire hazard if nothing else!" The Ferengi was obviously becoming exasperated, which pleased Odo to no end. He flashed a positively vicious smile at the fidgeting bar owner. "They have all the proper permits, Quark. I'm surprised at you... I thought you once told me that 'religious types' always make the best customers." "That's not what I said. I SAID that the strait laced orthodox types who like to tell everybody else how they should live are the ones that make for good business. Never met one who wasn't a hypocrite deep down..." Quark broke off and looked back at the entrance as he noticed the Constable's wide eyed stare over his shoulder and his sudden shooting up, ramrod straight in his seat. "Major! You look absolutely blooming today..." "Shut up and get out Quark!" She replied in a voice as venomous as a Telnoni pit viper. Quark shut his mouth with an audible click and backed toward the door, all the while watching the Bajoran as if she might pull a phaser and blast him on the spot. She watched him go, her face an open indication of her dislike for the Ferengi. "Odo, are you involved in anything vitally important right now?... Or going to be in the next 30 minutes or so?" The surprised Constable sat and stared at her for a moment before answering. "Not at the moment Major, although I have a Security drill scheduled at 1900 hours..." She cut him off. "Is there anyone else in back?" "No. Just a couple of drunk and disorderlies in for the night." "Good... Computer, enable privacy seal on Security doors... on my mark, disable all computer consoles and lock out all voice commands from Security except for my own for the next 30 minutes. Reroute all incoming non emergency com signals from this office to the OPS science station for the next 30 minutes as well. Authorization code Kira 157-Alpha... Mark." The Security doors turned opaque and all the computer consoles and display screens went dark at the computers announcement "Commands enabled." She sat heavily in her usual chair and looked directly into the eyes of the now VERY surprised Constable. "Just what exactly are you doing, Major?" He asked after trying and failing to meet her intense gaze. He fidgeted behind his desk, feeling like a trapped vole waiting to be shot... "I'm waiting for my best friend to tell me why he's been treating me like I have an infectious disease." "I don't know what you're talking about." The automatic response was out of his mouth before he even had to think about it. "I think you do. It's been going on for a while now hasn't it? "I am your friend aren't I, Odo? What's changed between us?" He looked up briefly to see the hurt in her eyes. He couldn't stand it... he had to tell her something. "After you found out about Vatrick... we agreed that we would never lie to each other again, Odo. I've kept my part of the bargain, now tell me what's wrong with you." She almost pleaded. "Was it something about me from the occupation?... I've had to do a lot of things..." She looked down now, herself. "No... of course not. I know you are an honorable person. The things you did, you were forced to do to survive, to free Bajor. Unlike some of us who actually *worked* for the Cardassians." Kira could hear the self recrimination in his voice. "You didn't work for the Cardassians, you worked for *Justice*. If you hadn't, I wouldn't be alive right now to talk to you." Some of the fire crept back into her voice. "So it isn't something I've done? Right? Is it something about you?" At his barely audible "not exactly, Major", she went on, sensing that she was on the brink of discovery. "Odo, just tell me dammit! We'll straighten this mess out somehow!" She rose and slammed the Data PADD down on his desk. "Tell me now!" All at once a wet looking sheen began to appear on the Constable's form. He shot upright and turned his back to her and closed his eyes in desperate concentration. Kira knew he only had trouble like this when he was very upset or had stayed solid too long. Since it was the middle of the afternoon, she was pretty sure which it was... She moved over and placed a hand on his shoulder. "It's alright, Odo." She could feel his liquid self roiling under the seeming solidity of his humanoid form. After a few moments, his shoulder firmed up to it's "normal" state, and the sheen disappeared. He let her lead him back over to sit in his chair while desperately attempting to find some way to satisy the Major without revealing all and forcing her away. She perched uncomfortably on the edge of his desk, facing him and rubbing with one hand at her obviously aching back. "I can see that this is going to be like... what's the old Earth saying the Chief uses? Pulling teeth?" "All right then... let's try this from a different direction. When did this all start?" She thought for a few moments. "It all started right after the assassination attempt on Shakaar..." Her eyes widened as she caught his too slowly covered reaction of hostility at the mention of the First Minister's name. "So this is about Shakaar..." she said slowly. Odo closed his eyes again and nodded. *Maybe part of the truth would be enough...* "He's not good enough for you!" The words, only a small part of the torrent he had stored up, burst forth. "He's a lying paluk'at; he's been unfaithful to you almost from the time you two *got together*! He has no real respect or concern for you; I have it on good authority that he has referred to you as his own *little red haired wormhole*, on more than one occasion. He gives no thought to you other than for what you can give him. He's a true *politician*! He said the word with all the venom he could muster. "I guess I was *jealous* as well. We'd always spent so much time together, then suddenly there was someone else you'd rather be with. I thought that if I could maintain my distance it wouldn't hurt so much..." He finally managed to get a rein on his tongue before he gave away anything else. He watched his friend, waiting for the explosion he knew was coming. Kira could not have looked more shocked if Odo had just told her Quark was one of the Prophets in disguise. Odo could see the heat rising in her face as she looked at him and asked him in a low, dangerous, voice. "Why didn't you say something?" "What could I say, Major? I had no real proof... I still don't." "You could've told me! This isn't a criminal investigation! I didn't need proof from you! All I needed was for my friend to let me know something was going on so I could look into it myself!" She shot back at him. "You would have gone to him and he would have denied it. I couldn't make you choose between us, I know what your choice would have been. Or will be..." he corrected in a defeated voice She could see the self hatred emanating from him so clearly it made her eyes burn with unshed tears, and her arms want to reach out to comfort him. "Oh. Really." The very blandness of those two words gave them whole new levels of meaning. "Do you think that little of me then? What possible reason would I have of suspecting you of lying to me? I know Shakaar... I grew up watching him perfect his technique on all the women in our cell. I just thought it would be different now that the Occupation was over..." "You believe me?" He couldn't believe his 'ears'. "Of course I believe you. Why wouldn't I? I trust you more than I have anyone. Ever." "As a matter of fact Shakaar asked me to begin the Rite of Separation last week... I guess once his *wormhole* picked up a passenger, she wasn't attractive enough to keep him shuttling back and forth from Bajor whenever he got an itch. Either that, or he just got tired of me, like all the rest of his *conquests*." She added with a shake of her head. She dismissed Shakaar with a wave of her hand. "I'll deal with that sack of *jzelld*, later. This is about you and me, now." "Odo, this may come as a surprise to you, but I care about you a great deal." Kira slid down the desk a bit so she could reach out and grasp one of Odo's hands. As brown eyes met blue, both the Bajoran and the changeling let down for an instant the barriers that had hidden their feelings for so long. *I saw that look! There was something there! Now don't scare him off Nerys!* "Well? I'm waiting..." A small smile quirked on Kira's expressive face as she studied the now obviously very uncomfortable changeling. Odo's mind was racing... *What did she mean? The way she looked at me just then! Say something, you idiot! Something diplomatic...* "I am also... very fond... of you. Major." "Why is this so hard for you, Odo?" she asked quietly, searching his masklike face for the smallest clue as to what he was thinking. "You forget, Major, that I have spent most of my conscious life essentially alone." Odo began in his most officious and aloof tone. "I learned to be entirely self sufficient in Mora's lab, and even here, on the station. Before you... and the others came here, I never needed or even *wanted* to be *part of* anything. Now the thought of returning to being *alone* fills me with so much dread I can't stand it... The only thing that scares me more is... not being accepted by the 'link' I have chosen for myself." only halfway hoped she would take that to mean the friends he had made on the station , not her specifically. He straightened and lifted his chin as he looked at her with his *Investigator's Face*, which had always proven an effective intimidator. *But why did he need it now? She had just said that she and Shakaar were finished...* "Don't even try it Odo..." She warned. At his blank look of incomprehension, she clarified. "Don't start trying to back me off with your *Constable* routine. "I can hear it in your voice... I'm on to it, so don't even think about it." "I don't know..." he began, but she cut him off with a gentle squeeze of his hand. "You know exactly what I'm talking about... you start calling me Major this and Major that. Then you suddenly plead important reports need to be filled out, or you've got pressing business elsewhere and scurry off like a vole with a razorcat hot on its tail." He looked sheepishly down at his lap, not even bothering to deny it anymore. *She knows me too well* "Why DO you call me Major all the time anyway? We've known each other for a long time now... been through a lot, saved each others lives more than once." "Well, you ARE my commanding officer." She squeezed again... He was beginning to wonder if she was ever going to give his hand back. Not that he would mind if she didn't... "Crap." She said quietly. The quiet, calm, approach Kira was taking to this conversation was beginning to make him nervous. He was much more used to and better able to deal with her energetic arguements and customary outbursts of temper. "Off duty, I call the Captain *Ben* sometimes. Hell, all of us but you call each other by our given names from time to time." "You have the rank of 'Captain' in the Militia, right? Have I *EVER* called you by your rank? I always either call you Constable or Odo. Right?" He had to admit she was right, she had never stood on ceremony with him. He had always preferred using titles to maintain the detachment he had felt it so necessary to achieve. "I think I'd like it if you'd call me Nerys, once in a while." "Very well M... Nerys. I just never thought to presume... no one else has ever asked me to use their given name." "I think that would change if you didn't push people away so much. There are a lot of people on the station who like and admire you and would like to be closer to you if you'd let them. Including me..." Neither of them said anything further. Odo, at a loss for what to say or do, still being in shock from Kira's revelations. And Kira, terrified of pushing any further and destroying what progress they'd made. They sat like that, looking into each others eyes, Kira never relinquishing her grip on Odo's too warm hand, until the computer chimed, "30 minute time period elapsed. Security office resuming normal function." Kira stood and finally released Odo. "So do you understand now that nobody is going to come between us?... Especially not some *politician*!" Odo nodded absently and rose with her, never taking his eyes from her face. "I guess I'd better get out of here. Let you get back to work..." It dawned on her that she'd never even *mentioned* the ostensible reason for her coming here. "Odo. I know this may not be the best time, but I've got a favor to ask..." She moved back to the desk and picked up the forgotten PADD. "I know how you hate reports and forms and all, but I need your help with my Starfleet admission exam. I'd really appreciate it if you could answer this for me." She handed him the PADD and he scanned the indicated question, not even registering it, his mind a million light years away. "Of course. I'd be glad to help you in any way I can *Nerys*." Kira grinned at his answer and his use of her given name. The *way* he had said it sent shivers down her spine, his wonderful voice making the word a caress. She just couldn't resist. She stepped forward an enveloped him in a hug, which after an initial moment of surprise, he returned. He couldn't help it. He couldn't hold it all in any more. Maybe, just maybe, he didn't have to. He couldn't remember ever being so happy as he was at that moment in the arms of the woman he loved. "Thanks. I am SO glad we've finally straightened this all out. Let's never let this happen again, alright?" "Agreed." After a few moments he added. "Nerys, I think you should know that assault with the intent to maim is a serious offense under Bajoran law." She raised her head from his chest and leaned back, looking at him quizzically. "And even more serious when the victim is the First Minister..." Kira broke into laughter. "Don't worry Odo, I don't think I'm going to hurt him... physically anyway. You never know though..." She added thoughtfully. "If you need an assistant, let me know. I'd be happy to hold him while you hit him." She laughed again, and raised her arms around his neck. "You know" she said in almost a whisper. "There's something I've always wanted to do to you...*Constable*." His eyes grew as large as saucers and he finally managed to stutter "W... what?" "This!" Her hands, which had trailed upwards toward the back of his head, suddenly immersed themselves in his *hair* and mercilessly disordered every carefully placed strand. She quickly stepped back out of reach of the startled shapeshifter, laughing in delight at his pained expression when he caught his rumpled reflection in one of the wall panels. "I'll see you later! She called over her shoulder as she practically skipped out of Security despite her increased girth. Happier than she'd been in months. Odo stepped forward to the closing doors and watched her go, oblivious to the reaction of several passersby to a wild haired changeling pressing his grinning face to the glass. He then turned and resumed his seat, passing a hand over his suddenly tidy hair. "Shakaar is out of her life! I don't have to avoid her anymore... we're friends... again. She really WANTS to be around me... she wants to be *closer* to me..." His thoughts tumbled one over the other in a chaotic jumble, not making much sense, even to him. He continued in this vein for a few moments more before he finally shook himself out of his daze. "What do I do now? Is it too soon for me to say anything? Dare I say anything?" He thought it over. "We've only just renewed our friendship, I can't risk pushing her away again. It would kill me..." "The way she *looked* at me when she told me she cared about me... she hugged me, held my hand, mussed my hair... she's never done anything like that before..." Odo leaned back in his chair once again , still grinning like an idiot as he analyzed every moment of their encounter. Not much work would be accomplished in Security that afternoon... **** A few hours later... Nerys wound her fingers through Odo's hair as she drew him down for a passionate kiss... his hands roamed over her body, leaving fire in their wake... she gasped as his fingers found the fasteners to her uniform and deftly managed them, baring flushed skin to the cool air. Her own hands found only frustration as they searched for a way past the barrier of his uniform. "Let me..." He whispered and stepped away, leaving her hungry for his embrace. A moments thought, and all barriers between them were lowered. She gazed appreciatively at his lean, muscled form as he moved with her towards her bed. Lowering himself onto his back he drew her down to meet his hungry kiss. His blue eyes sparkled like gemstones as he admired her in turn, then closed in pleasure as she began to... "Major... I hate to interrupt." The soft, yet dangerously pleasant voice, of Captain Sisko just over her shoulder broke in on her reverie. She started guiltily and turned to face her commanding officer, who along with the rest of the OPS crew were regarding her curiously. "I was just wondering if you knew why I've had to spend the last ten minutes listening to one of your trade ministers complain about docking delays?" He crossed his arms and waited for an answer. Kira glanced about OPS, noticing the attention her little lapse had attracted and flushed to the roots of her hair. "Sorry sir... I'll get right on it!" She reached over and completed the final sequence of commands to clear the minister's shuttle for docking. "Major, when you're finished. In my office." Sisko turned and stumped up the stairs back into his "cave" as some of the OPS crew liked to call it. She directed a withering stare at the wide grins breaking out amongst O'brien, Dax, and the others. All had the good sense to find something *else* that required their attention, except for Dax of course. It took more than a hard look from someone one tenth her age to intimidate the worm inside her. *What's wrong with me anyway? I never daydream like *THAT*; especially on duty. I'm the one who always dresses people down for not paying attention to their duties.* The look Dax sent her way was knowing, and vastly amused. *Why does she always seem to know everything?* She asked herself plaintively, knowing that Dax would pounce on her as soon as their shift was over and drag the details of her daydream, her meeting with Odo, and probably what she had for breakfast that morning out of her despite her best efforts at resistance. It was only a few minutes till shift rotation. Maybe the Captain wouldn't finish yelling at her until Dax was gone... **** Odo was just about finished trying to whip the day's reports into some kind of order when he remembered the small PADD Kira had given him and the favor she had asked. *I can't concentrate anyway, maybe since this has something to do with her, it'll be easier..." He reached over to the corner of his desk where it had been shunted in the course of his dutiful attempt at work and activated it. *Hmmph... Starfleet probably wants me to evaluate the probability of her being a security risk... no, I doubt that... they consider *me* a security risk, so why ask me anything?...* He scanned the question and was immediately certain that the Federation was doomed, if *this* was what they spent their time dreaming up. How idiotic! How did this have anything to do with how effective an officer Kira would be? Either she was competent or not! Her personal life, *much less his!* shouldn't be open to the voyeuristic tendencies of some puffed up Starfleet admiral and his staff of bean counters. "This is a waste of time!" He grumbled. *This is one of those reports that tend to get "misplaced" around here from time to time. Hmmn... no I promised Nerys...*, he lingered over the word and the pleasure it brought him to say it, even mentally. *No, I promised Nerys that I would help her with this and I've got to follow through no matter how stupid it is.* *But how am I going to do this without letting on how I feel? It's bad enough, the Romulans guessing my secret, now I've got to give Starfleet a chance to psychoanalyze me!* *Brief, and to the point, Constable. Just state your confidence in her and her ability. Don't say anything they can read any hidden meanings into...* He continued, in his mind, to cut away those areas he deemed unsafe to discuss. * I guess a paragraph or two won't kill me. I'd wager Nerys was furious when she first read this... she hates this drivel almost as much as I do...* **** Kira winced as the office doors swished shut behind her. Dax still stood chatting with her relief at the OPS science station, obviously waiting for her. She made a beeline for the turbolift,but the Trill quickly ended her conversation and intercepted the fleeing Bajoran before she could make her escape. They both entered the turbolift and called out their destinations. "Well?" Dax finally asked the fidgety Major when the silence had stretched on for a few moments. "Well what?" Kira rejoined automatically. She wasn't going to make this any easier than possible on the nosy Trill. "What did he say?" Ignoring Kira's warning frown, she continued, "Both the Captain *and* Odo, that is." "Not much... just asked me if something was bothering me and if I wanted to talk about it. I told him it wouldn't happen again, and he let it go at that. Kind of surprised me really, you know how he hates listening to bureacrats complain." "As for Odo... that's a long story." She turned away, crossing her arms above her protruding abdomen in an unconsciously defensive posture. Dax changed directions, sensing Kira was going to be difficult. "What were you daydreaming about? As if I didn't know already..." That infuriatingly serene smile and inquiring, gossipy manner she had were in full evidence. "So you know everything now, do you?" Kira snapped as the turbolift doors opened and she stepped off toward her old quarters. Dax followed, her previous destination forgotten in the thrill of the hunt. "I saw that look in your eyes, Nerys. I've seen it before, but most often in my bedroom." If Kira's blush had been brilliant before, it was now positively incandescent. "So now I tell you everything and in five minutes it'll be all over the station!" Kira punched at her door lock and passed on into her rooms. Dax waited in the doorway until Kira waved her in. "Nerys, we both know I love to gossip, but if this is important to you, you know it'll only be between you and me. " "It is..." Kira slowly lowered herself into her most comfortable chair and awkwardly began to remove her boots. "Then you have my word. Here, let me help... you know, maybe you should think about some new footwear. These don't look to comfortable..." Kira surrendered to the trill's ministrations and thankfully rubbed at her now bare and swollen ankles. "These are standard issue now. I wish that idiot quartermaster had to stand in them for a day or two. Or run, jump, turn, or anything else a soldier might have to do." Dax examined the four inch high heels. "It looks like that could be *interesting*." "You have no idea... I've lost track of my sprained ankles. At least that'll be one good thing about joining Starfleet - no more skintight uniforms and no more high heels for me to wear!" "I bet that'll disappoint most of the men and several of the women on the station!" Dax rejoined. Both officers grinned and lapsed into silence. "I really don't want to load all of this onto you..." "I'm your closest friend after Odo, right? And your closest female friend? And since this is about him, you can't ask him for advice, so I seem to be the natural choice. Besides, I love this stuff..." Dax languorously stretched her six foot frame out on the sofa and waited. "Spill it Nerys." Dax finally ventured when the Bajoran was not immediately forthcoming. "Ahhh... Dammit!" Kira slumped back in her chair, interlacing her fingers behind her head. "We talked. He said he'd been avoiding me because of some things he'd heard about Shakaar. He was afraid that if he told me I wouldn't believe him and would choose Shakaar over him... and that he was..." She hesitated. *Jealous* of the time he spent with me." "Really?" Dax struggled to keep her tone level. "What did you tell him?" "I told him that no *politician* would ever come between us, and that I'd believe him over anybody..." "And...?" Dax left it hanging. "I told him that I care about him and want to be closer to him..." "Meaning?" The would be counselor forgot to breathe. *Please... oh, please!* Kira swiveled in her chair to look pensively out at the stars shining through her window. "I've done a lot of thinking since you and I had our little talk in the Replimat. I've been *feeling* things about Odo for a while now, before Shakaar even. I was feeling guilty about using Edon as a substitute, but it turns out I needn't have bothered." "I think about him constantly, he makes me feel so... comfortable when he's around . And now I've started fantasizing about him..." Never being that eloquent, words failed her. "I think I'm in love with him, Jadzia..." She finally managed. *Gods, Prophets, Founders, whatever you are... thank you!" Dax blew out the breath she'd unconsciously been holding.. Kira turned her head at the sound and regarded the now relaxed trill with suspicion. "I'm glad you finally admitted it to yourself." Dax calmly informed her. "So you knew that too. It figures. What's it like knowing everything? Why don't you just go take up residence in the wormhole with the rest of the deities?" "Do you know how annoying it is to never be able to surprise you?". She waved her arms animatedly in the direction of the recumbent trill. Her frustration at herself, Odo, and the world at large was beginning to wear on her never certain temper. Dax countered the border line blasphemy and show of temper with a smug and self satisfied smile. "I know. That's why I do everything possible to hide it when you DO surprise me. Seriously though, I've had a lot of experience with this sort of thing, and it's always easier to see the truth when you're not directly involved..." "I don't know everything. Just my friends. You've been mooning around the station for months now. It's pretty obvious if you know what to look for. Have you ever noticed that in a meeting or a crowd, you and Odo always wind up standing or sitting together? Or if you get separated you're both always sneaking looks when you think the other isn't watching?" "Did you tell Odo how you feel?" Dax was pretty sure she knew the answer, but the question had to asked. "Of course not! He would've bolted before I even got the words out of my mouth! He was as nervous as a Kanndipper the whole time we were talking! If I hadn't locked down the Security office, he never would've stood still long enough for me to talk to him. Odo may have feelings, but he's closed them off and locked them away so well that he doesn't know how to deal with them when they do come out." Kira went on to fill in her friend on the rest of the encounter. "So he actually hugged you? And let you muss him? Can you imagine Odo letting anyone else do that?" "No..." "So what's the problem then? It's obvious he has some kind of affection for you... why not find out if there's anything more?" "I want to, but I've got to be careful not to destroy our friendship. I've already hurt him enough, without even knowing it. Besides, I just lost one friend who tried to be a lover, and I value Odo too much to take a chance on losing him... again." "So you and Shakaar are over now? I was wondering what you were going to do about him. What happened?" The next few minutes were taken up by the uncomfortable Major recounting the events surrounding her breakup with the First Minister. "That RAT! I always knew there was something phony about him! There was something about his eyes, that bland, wide eyed country boy look coming from a man who commanded a resistance cell during the occupation! I'm sorry Nerys..." "It's alright. I'm not really that upset about our breaking up. The thing that makes me want to kick his teeth in is the lack of respect he's shown both me and his office. Can you imagine the political leader of my world telling off color stories about our sex life at a luncheon? Oh, I've got a few choice words for that *country boy*, but I think I'll wait until my pregnancy is over before I pay a call on him..." she finished ominously. The First Minister apparently had a lot of pain in his future... "So. What are you going to do about Odo?" Dax prompted, unwilling to let the conversation drift away from her main interest. "That's just it... I've second guessed myself so much, I don't have any idea what to do now. I guess you could say I've already started 'courting' him... I let him know I want to be closer... You know something?... I've touched him more today than I have in the past year. I don't know though, we're so different... Physically. I don't know if we could have any common ground..." Kira's voice faded into the background as something became abundantly clear to Dax. *She's going to talk herself right out of doing ANYTHING and mope around the station suffering in noble silence! She's as bad as Odo! I don't think I can stand to watch *both* of them doing it!* "He might find the whole idea abhorrent. I've heard awful stories about what the Cardassians did to him at those *parties* he was the main attraction at... and at the lab where he grew up..." Dax interrupted her with a snort. *Enough is enough...* "Not to belittle Odo's experiences, but everyone who came through the Occupation has the scars to prove it. Even you. Right Nerys?" At her friend's reluctant nod, the trill went on "Isn't that the job of loved ones to help heal those kind of wounds? That's no reason for you to give up on him. You never know, he might help YOU..." "What ever happened to the Kira Nerys I know? You know, the one who goes warp factor 10 at whatever she sets her mind to." Kira turned back to the window as if seeking answers to a universe full of questions. When she spoke, her voice was subdued. "That's the one who has some idea of what she's doing. I've never really felt this way before... except for Bareil. I loved him, Jadzia... but I always felt I had to measure up to him, to be like him. He was so spiritual, so noble and serene, he was above us ordinary people with all our petty problems." "I twisted myself all up in knots over him too, but he was the one *pursuing* me! That made things a lot easier. I already knew he was attracted to me, and then I had an orb vision of us *together*. That pretty much made it official." "It's different with Odo though, he never expects me to be anything other than what I am. He takes me at face value, and he never hesitates to let me know when I'm in the wrong." "To be honest,all my other *relationships* have been pretty... superficial. You can't make promises when either you or your lover may be dead in a few hours. I guess I kind of got in the habit of being alone. That's why Shakaar was perfect for me. Handsome, with a life of his own, and only around every month or two..." "So now you're afraid that this will turn out to be as superficial as the others and you don't want it to be." Dax just couldn't let this go on any longer, she had to get Nerys going in the right direction at least, whether she broke her oath or not. She *had* to meddle just a bit, if she didn't they were going to make their lives miserable and maybe miss out on something wonderful. This was right, she could feel it in her bones, eight lifetimes of experience all said one thing: *these two were made for each other*. She took a deep breath and launched into her speech. "Nerys, I know you're scared, but Odo does have feelings for you. Whether they're only as a friend or as a lover is something you're only going to be able to find out in one place. That's face to face with the Constable. I told you before to be yourself, and that's the best advice I can give you. You don't have to jump in his arms and proclaim your love if you don't want to, you can let him know how you feel in other ways. Spend time with him, talk to him. You said you didn't know him as well as you would like... well, here's your chance. Ask him about himself, find out things about him that no one else knows, tell him the same kinds of things. Then, it should be pretty obvious where you stand. As for your relationship being superficial, I think we both know that's horseshit... Odo doesn't have a superficial bone in his body." Kira just sat there staring, mouth partly open, stunned by the vehemence in the trill's voice. "You're going to have to be the aggressor... you and I both know Odo has almost no experience when it comes to this sort of thing. Just be gentle, and honest with him. Don't come on Ambassador Troi after the 'man of the hour' or he'll run so fast your head will spin . "You didn't notice before, but when I said *you're both always sneaking looks when the other isn't watching*, I really meant *BOTH*." With a meaningful look into her friend's eyes, Dax rose and made her way to the door. Pausing at the opening door, she turned and clasped her hands hands behind her back. "But whatever you do, don't just stand by and watch him from afar... eventually someone else will come along and take him right from under your nose." *Just like Shakaar did to Odo* "Good night Nerys." With that, she turned and exited before the Bajoran could move to stop her. As she passed through the corridor, Dax plotted her next move. "Computer, location of Constable Odo?" *Security Chief Odo is in the Security Office.* *I hope the symbiosis commission doesn't hear about this...* Dax thought as she made a beeline for the Security office. ****** "...Major Kira and I have served together in the Militia for almost four years now and I have never had cause to doubt her or her abilities and her commitment to her uniform. She is an honorable person who has risked her life many times for her people and beliefs. And so, in conclusion, I would like to restate my assertion that Major Kira Nerys is a credit to the Bajoran Militia, and will make a fine addition to Starfleet." Odo scanned the last of three paragraphs comprising his work of the past two hours. *There. Official enough to not give anything away. Positive enough to let them know I respect her and think she is qualified to serve, with a few lines thrown in about her impulsiveness and temper, which HAS made a negative impact on my duties at on occasion* In his determination to remain professional, Odo had forgotten the personal implications of the question and had slipped into the jargon he was accustomed to using in his normal correspondance with Starfleet... Oblivious to the reaction it might illicit since the recent changes in his relationship with a certain volatile Major, he keyed the PADD to transmit the correspondence to the her quarters. *It's getting late. I think I'll go check in on Quark, I haven't harassed him since this morning. He'll think I've forgotten about hi...* The Constable rose and was almost trampled by a very tall, very agitated trill who met him in his doorway and practically forced him back into his office. "Lt. Commander Dax, may I ask what you're doing?" He asked as the doors shut once again and the science officer began stalking back and forth in front of his desk, hands clasped behind her back as was her habit. "No you may not! I've got something to say to you and I want you to sit down and just listen!" She stopped pacing and glared at him until he sat at his desk and then moved to sit across from him. "Odo, what are you going to do about Nerys?! This being in the middle of you two is driving me crazy! I KNOW you love her! Why won't you do something about it?" The Constable sat, nonplussed, behind his desk wondering if the entire Alpha Quadrant was in on his little secret. "Really, Commander... That's ridiculous. The Major and I are friends..." She cut him off. "Give it up, Odo. You know those memories we exchanged in my Zhiantara? Well, part of your feelings for her came along for the ride. I know the truth and nothing you can say is going to convince me otherwise." Odo's shoulders slumped as he admitted defeat. "I assume that you haven't told anyone else about this?" "Of course not. Whatever I learned as a result of my Zhiantara is considered confidential. Every initiate takes an oath to that effect when they're accepted into the program. I *did* come dangerously close to telling Nerys today, though." "Thank you for your restraint, Commander. I don't suppose you could be persuaded to mind your own affairs in this instance?" At her frown, he added. "Of course not... you enjoy this... 'matchmaking' too much to let people deal with their own problems." The last was added in a tone that left no doubt of the Changelings' opinion of such activities. "Kira told me about your little meeting today. It was long overdue, and really it shouldn't have been necessary in the first place. There was no reason for you to back away from her like that." The ethereal beauty crossed her legs and interlaced her fingers on her knee, exuding a calm *you can tell me anything* air. *Maybe I can trust her with this. She hasn't betrayed me so far, and I can't talk to anyone else...* "There was every reason." He dropped his eyes to the surface of his desk and continued in a dry, dusty voice devoid of inflection. "She had found love with one of her own kind. How could I compete? Me, a freak, not even humanoid... She could never love a *changeling*. I couldn't cope with watching the two of them become lovers. After I almost got us all killed in that turbolift, I chose to stick to the *essentials* to maintain my sanity and preserve my ability to perform my duties. "Odo, I know this is none of my business, but I consider you two my friends and I hate to see both of you in pain like this." The Constable, being much more aware of the nuances of carefully chosen words than the sometimes unobservant Major, immediately picked up on the trill's turn of phrase. *Nerys is in pain? What happened? If something was wrong, she would've told me about it earlier today! Wouldn't she?* "What's wrong with Nerys?" He blurted, not bothering the couch his concern in a more roundabout fashion. "I'm glad to see you two are finally on a first name basis..." If Odo had been a humanoid he would have blushed in embarrassment. "She's got some big decisions to make and she's scared that she'll make a mistake and hurt someone close to her." Her direct look was not lost on the Constable. *So, this has something to do with me? Could she?... The way she was acting today... was she trying to tell me something?... Is it possible?* "What kind of decisions, Commander?" Maybe the notorious gossip would let something slip... "Odo, I gave Nerys my word that our conversation would be held in confidence. I'm not going to break my word to her, just like I'm not going to tell her you love her. Even if it would simplify things and make both of you much happier..." Sensing that the would be matchmaker was trying very hard to tell him something and being unwilling to risk having his blossoming hopes dashed, Odo ventured "What exactly is it that you are trying to tell me, Commander?" "Call me Jadzia. I'm not here as an officer, I'm here as a friend. And what I'm trying to tell you is this..." She quickly ran over her rehearsed speech in her mind and then impulsively discarded it and began speaking from her heart. "If you do still love Nerys, you're going to have to actually do something about it. Sitting back and crying *She can never love me!* isn't going to get it done, Constable. Kira isn't one of the most emotionally *aware* people at the best of times. You've never given her any indication that you ever had any feelings at all towards her, other than a distant affection... she's just now realizing that you are capable of feeling beyond what little you've shown. How can you expect her to fall into your arms when you can barely call her by her first name?" Jadzia's voice had risen as she warmed to the topic, taking on an almost accusatory tone. She paused, taking a moment to rein in her *enthusiasm* before she alienated the friend who had finally begun to open up to her. "Look, Odo..." she continued more gently, "I know this is hard for you, but you've got to make her see that you care for her. You can't just hover around her and hope that one day she'll finally notice you. Nerys won't lie to you, and she'd never intentionally hurt you. She expects the same from you. You've been lying to her for years now, and when you stepped aside for Shakaar, you caused her a lot of pain over things that weren't her fault." "Odo, look at me..." The changeling's guilt ridden eyes had dropped back to the table as her words had begun to strike home. "You do love her, right? And you want her to love you back?" At his shaky nod she continued, "I know you've armored yourself against all the emotional pain the Occupation and being different has put you through, but you're going to have to open up to her and let her get to know the real you... The you who takes such joy in changing shape, the you who enjoys kayaking, the YOU who loves the crime stories the Chief gives you and reads romance novels on the sly..." "How did you know?..." "About the romance novels? I happen to read one myself now and then. You were very thorough in deleting the access logs Constable, but I happened to come across one that I recognized on a PADD in one of my little furniture moving forays. I won't give away your secret if you won't give away mine." Her smile nearly took in her ears as she rose and made ready to leave. At this he finally managed to get a few words out. "Thank you... Jadzia. I'll think about what you've said." "Good... Don't think too long though, Odo." Dax got a far away look in her eyes. "Kira is... a beautiful, intelligent, passionate woman. And there are a lot of Shakaars out there who wouldn't think twice about stealing her away from you. Hell, I might do it myself if you don't get off your butt." With that very *comforting* disclosure, Dax patted him on the shoulder and left the way she had come. ***** Kira sat, stunned, in her chair as the doors closed on her departing friend. "Both... of us." *She was telling me that Odo is... attracted... to me.* A soft smile slowly found its way across her face and a tear fell from her suddenly brimming eyes. Her mind rushed back over the years, all the little things she had always taken for granted about her friend and the things he did for her. Always remembering how she liked her Rakta'jino, his patience with her customary fits of temper, all the little attentions to detail that only a lover or husband would take the time to bother with. She wondered how many other people on the station had already guessed. She scrubbed away the tears with the back of her hand. *Well, Nerys. You're a great blubbering fool... aren't you? Someone hints to you that your best friend may have more than friendship on his mind and you start bawling like a baby.* At that moment her commbadge chirped. "O'brien to Major Kira." "Go ahead Chief." She tried to hide the sniffle that threatened to destroy her hard nosed reputation. "Well, Keiko and I were about to sit down to a late dinner, and we were wondering if..." "I'll be right there, Miles. I'm so hungry I could eat a kivik. Hooves, tail, and horns!" Her stomach, right on cue, rumbled in audible agreement The laughter of the Chief of Operations and his wife matched that of the Major as she quickly slipped on her hated boots and cheerfully lumbered out of her quarters. Thereby missing the bored seeming voice coming from her computer terminal. "Major Kira, you have one message waiting." ***** Odo approached Kira as she waited for a turbolift on the promenade. "Major, may I have a word with you? She nodded and before she had a chance to reply, he motioned her to a table at the nearby Replimat. She looked at him blankly in surprise as he took her hand in his and gently brought them to his lips... Nerys I need you to know something... I've loved you for years... I want to be with you and I hope you can feel the same way about me." Kira's eyes widened in shock and for a brief moment, discomfort and... what was it?... revulsion? Fear?, before she masked it. "Odo, I don't know what to say... I don't think I can feel that way about you. We're friends... can't that be enough for us?" With a mental sigh, he banished the scenario he had imagined from his mind. Odo rested in his natural form in his quarters, straining to conquer the fears that chained him. He had spent most of the night and following day trying to work up the courage to approach the woman he had loved from afar for so long. *Dax was right, If I don't do something, Nerys will never know how I feel... if she hasn't noticed by now, she never will. Even if she IS disgusted and never wants to see me again, it couldn't be any worse than what I've put myself through these past months... * *That remains to be seen, Odo 'Ital.* He snorted to himself in disgust *At least it'll be better than sitting here alone in the dark torturing myself.* With that, he rose and headed to OPS. To anyone asking, he was there to report to Captain Sisko on security arrangements for the Yelosian dignitaries due in next week. His REAL goal: to see Kira and make the proposition he had decided upon. Chief O'brien and Lt. Commander Dax looked up as the doors of the former Cardassian Prefect's office closed behind the station's Chief of Security. He paused and scanned the room, obviously looking for something,*or someone* as a certain interfering Trill suspected strongly. "Something I can help you with Constable?" The bluff Irishman smiled in greeting. "I... ah... was looking for Major Kira. I... had some reports..." "Julian ordered her to the Infirmary." Dax volunteered, clearly not fooled by his inept attempt at a cover up. "Is something wrong?" Odo asked, a bit *too* nonchalantly. "Nah. Not really. She was bitch... *cough*" O'brien smiled even more broadly and continued. "I mean complaining, about her boots and how they hurt her feet. Bashir overheard and *ordered* her in for an exam. I think he did it to give himself something to do, more than anything." "I'm sure she'd like some company, why don't you go visit her?" Dax smiled and gestured towards the turbolifts. Odo met her eyes and nodded distractedly, and murmuring "Chief... Commander..." he stepped onto one of the turbolifts and entered his destination. O'brien watched curiously as the lift carried the changeling out of OPS. "What's gotten into Odo? He seems to be a bit... distracted." He asked the science officer, who was not bothering to conceal a smirk. Obviously, she knew some juicy gossip that he hadn't been let in on yet... "Ask me again in a week, this dish has to stew a bit more yet..." She turned and pointedly ignored him. *Women! There's nothing more aggravating than a woman with a secret... except maybe a woman who's had three hundred years practice at keeping them! * O'brien shook his head and put the matter out of his mind. *Not any of my business, anyway. Now, let's see... that power inverter *should* be feeding into the ODN junction..." ***** Odo hesitated for a moment in the doorway of the infirmary. He wasn't sure if this was such a good idea after all... At that moment Dr. Bashir strode by, passing from one treatment room to the next. He glanced up, and seeing the wavering changeling, smiled and waved him in. "Constable! Come right in!... I'll be right with you!". *No help for it now, everyone in the Infirmary knows I'm here anyway*. Odo went to the open doorway Bashir had just entered and peeked through. Major Kira sat on an examination table swinging her bare feet impatiently while Bashir busily packed a small bag with what appeared to be medical supplies. She looked up at the movement and smiled *that* smile at him, her dimples leading the assault. "Hello Odo! It's good to see you!" She called to him, as if she hadn't seen him for a year, instead of a few hours. Odo nodded by reply and leaned in the doorway with crossed arms. Bashir glanced at the Major and moved to hand her the bag, while giving her the instructions for the use of its contents. She listened halfheartedly, spending most of her time glancing around him at the waiting Constable. "So... you understand?" Bashir looked back at the object of her attention and frowned slightly. "Keep off your feet the rest of the day, and take your medication? And wear the new shoes I'm having made for you... no more heels for you for a while." "Why don't I go see if they're ready yet?" He pasted on his best professional manner and approached Odo. "What can I do for you, Constable?" Odo did his best to ignore him. "I'm here to see the Major, Doctor... excuse me." He brushed by the doctor while Bashir stood for a moment, surprised at the brusque dismissal. "Why don't I just go see about those shoes..." He muttered to himself, and shaking his head ruefully, he exited the room. Kira, who had been observing the exchange, smirked good naturedly at the retreating doctor. "Serves him right for throwing his weight as CMO around.like that." Odo closed the distance between himself and Bashir's patient, leaning against the biobed next to her current perch. They looked at each other, the moment stretching on uncomfortably, while he searched for a way to begin the conversation that would begin the evolution of their relationship for good or ill. Kira took in his ramrod straight posture and the nervous set of his normally expressionless face as he tried to meet her gaze. *Oh Prophets... what's wrong? He looks like he's going to tell me something horrible has happened.* She braced herself for the worst. "Go ahead and tell me the bad news, Constable." Odo looked at her with a blank expression that would have been comical in other circumstances. "That is what you're here for, isn't it?" "I... just came by to check on you, Major ... and to ask you something..." Kira's relief was evident as she now regarded her friend curiously. "You had me worried for a minute. Is this official business?" "No... not exactly." She suddenly realized her mood had gone from irritation at the overeager doctor to good humor, all in the time it took for a changeling to cross a room. *You've really got it bad, Nerys...* "Then *DON'T* call me Major!" She growled in mock anger, although her twitching lips and smiling eyes spoiled the effect somewhat. "I thought we had an agreement, Constable? We of the Kira clan do not take it lightly when someone backs out of a deal ..." She flexed her fingers ominously and shot him a fierce glare, all the while trying to hold back the laughter that threatened to burst forth. "I'm sorry... *Nerys*. This is going to take some getting used to." She sobered at the changeling's anemic response to her sally. *Something's really bothering him...* "How are you? I heard that Doctor Bashir had ordered you to the infirmary." Concern was evident in his voice. "I'm fine... I just made the mistake of making a medical complaint in Bashir's hearing. One good thing about it though, I've gotten rid of those damned boots!" She waved at the offending footgear lying on a shelf nearby. She continued in a like vein for a few minutes, animatedly telling him the details of her latest run in with the authority of the Chief Medical Officer while her mind ran over the implications of his visit. "So... you're checking up on me now, hmn? What did I do to deserve this special attention? You don't need a loan or something?" She asked in a teasing manner. Odo's sapphire eyes found and held hers as he replied, "I care about what happens to you Nerys. I..." He broke off speaking, and finally broke the connection by looking away. *I'm going about this the wrong way... time to get serious, before I scare him off.* "What was it that you wanted to ask me?" "It's not important..." "Yes it is!" She grabbed his hand to prevent his imminent flight. "Odo, I'm sorry... You come here about something important, and all I can do is crack jokes..." *She's got the hand again... I never knew Nerys was such a 'hand holder'... * He struggled to maintain his concentration as Kira stroked the back of his hand. *Tell her, It's not that big a thing... get it over with...* "Nerys... I... uhmm... well..." She regarded him patiently, waiting for him to find the right words. *Maybe this is a bit more serious than I gave it credit for...* She thought as it became clear that Odo was going to have trouble getting the words out. Suddenly, what had been a jovial mood became one of nervous anticipation. "... I was thinking... since we stopped having our meetings, there's been a backlog of criminal activities reports building up... I thought that maybe... maybe you'd like to get together tonight and go over them... ahem... and maybe reinstate our Tuesday sessions... If you have the time..." *Dax was right...* She felt like jumping up and running around the room. Or grabbing Odo and... "I'd like that... very much." She did everything she could to pour everything she was feeling at that moment into those five words. "How about 2100 hours this evening at my quarters? I've got to keep my feet up tonight... doctor's orders." She shook her head ruefully and stood, paying no attention to the cold floor on her bare feet. She realized abruptly that she had pulled him into almost an embrace, with only their clasped hands between them. She swayed a little and leaned in closer... The flash of movement caught out of the corner of her eye and Odo's sudden step backward was the only warning of Doctor Bashir's return. Bashir stood in the doorway with a surprised and knowing look on his face, the shoes he had gone to retrieve dangling forgotten in his hand. "Ahem... here you go, Major..." Kira ground her teeth in both frustration and embarrassment as she felt a slow flush rise up her cheeks. "I'll see you tonight, Constable..." She grabbed up her bag and stalked out of the room, snagging her footwear from Bashir as he moved out of her way and back into the Infirmary proper. Odo stood rooted to the spot, still overcome with the emotions he had just been exposed to, both his own and what he fancied he saw in Kira's eyes. After a moment, he followed the Major, passing the doctor who had his back to him as he studied some readouts of a medical console. "Good luck with your *date*, Constable!" He called with humor evident in his voice, without looking back at the changeling. Bashir had heard descriptions of a room suddenly becoming chilly before but he had never given it much credence. He began to feel an acutely uncomfortable itching between his shoulder blades and whirled to find himself almost nose to nose with a very intent changeling. There was nothing about his demeanor that was overtly threatening, but Bashir had never been more sure in his life that Odo was a hairbreadth from unleashing some terrible violence. In a very calm and controlled manner he spoke. "I would... appreciate it... if you would keep to yourself... whatever you heard or saw in there... Doctor." "Absolutely!... Constable... you have my word..." He stammered, willing to promise just about anything at that moment. Odo turned on his heel and left the doctor to collect his shattered composure. *... I think I'll remember to stay on the Constable's good side from now on...* ***** Keiko O'brien moved to join her husband and daughter as they sat engrossed in Molly's latest artistic effort. Miles looked up, and seeing the troubled look on her face, asked. "How is she?" "She's fine... I guess... She's rearranged her room three times in the past hour. Checked the time at least a half dozen times. She's neat as a pin in the first place but I swear you could eat off the floor in there right now!" Keiko crossed her arms and stared at the ceiling, thinking hard. "One minute she's so happy you'd think she was about to burst into song, and the next she's sitting in her window chewing her fingernails..." "What's got her so worked up?" Her husband asked absently as he placed an arm about her shoulders. "She wouldn't tell me... She did mention that Odo was coming over to work on some reports or something." Her eyes widened and then narrowed in sudden suspicion as a thought struck her. "If I didn't know better, I'd think she was getting ready for a *date*. You don't think something's going on between them, do you?" "Look Mommy!" Molly rose from the floor and presented her drawing for inspection after crawling into her father's lap. "That's a very pretty razorcat, Molly." At that observation the youngster scrunched her face up in a ferocious scowl. "Daddy thought it was a dog!" The Chief winced and shifted Molly to a more comfortable position. "Odo was in Ops looking for her today... definitely didn't seem to be his usual self." "He'll probably be here any minute... Watch the two of them together... see if you notice anything. If you get him alone, pump him for information, and I'll... Keiko's next *order* was cut off by the ringing of the door chime. With that, she rose from the couch and called out "Come in...". The doors slid open to reveal the station's Chief of Security bearing a small pot of flowers , a pair of data PADDS, and a small box covered in some kind of shiny wrapping. Keiko took all of this in and shot a meaningful look over her shoulder at Miles. "Come in Constable, have a seat!" Odo, obviously ill at ease with confronting the whole O'brien family, edged into the room. "Chief... Mrs. O'brien... Miss O'brien. Is Major Kira in?" "Of course... Why don't I go get her?" Keiko jumped up and was gone before Odo had a chance to try to make his way through the impromptu roadblock of the two other O'briens. "Molly, say hello to Mr. Odo." The youngster looked, wide eyed, at the unfinished features of the changeling and his burdens. "Hello... What happened to your face?" She asked in the direct manner so many children have embarrassed so many adults with. "Molly! Sorry about that Constable, you know kids..." O'brien stammered by way of apology. "That's all right, Chief." The unruffled changeling directed his attention to the child as he perched uncomfortably on the edge of the sofa. "I'm not human, Molly. I look different because that's the way my people look. Like Vulcans have pointy ears, or Klingons have big foreheads..." Molly interrupted. "Like aunt Nerys has a crinkledy nose because she's Bajoran!" "That's right." Nerys stopped Keiko and motioned her to silence as they reentered the living room unnoticed. She watched bemusedly as Odo brought forward a part of himself she had never suspected existed. As she watched, he skillfully charmed little Molly O'brien. The child had immediately decided that she wanted to know all about this strange visitor that she'd seen but never had the chance to talk to, and had struck up an animated conversation with the normally reticent changeling. Who for his part, seemed to be enjoying himself as much as she was. She would have bet her Pagh that Odo would be painfully shy and uncomfortable around children. *He's good with kids... Another point in his favor...* Kira smiled and sneaked a glance at the human who was alternately staring at her and Odo with suspicion plain in her dark eyes. *She's putting two and two together... Face it, Nerys, you always were rotten at keeping secrets.* The thought that someone else had guessed how she felt was both disturbing and strangely exciting. She left the doorway and moved up behind the couch and laid a hand on the engrossed changeling's shoulder. He gave a start and looked up at her with a tiny smile that made her heart race. "Hello, *Nerys*. I brought those reports you asked for..." She grinned one of her ear to ear grins and squeezed his shoulder in acknowedgement of his use of her given name. "You're getting there, Odo... Why don't we take it into my room? There's no need to bore the O'briens." He nodded and picked up the items he had placed on the coffee table. Molly noticing the shiny wrapped package for the first time, squealed and asked in an exited voice, "Did you bring us presents, Mr. Odo?!" "I'm sorry little one, but these are for your aunt Nerys. I tell you what, the next time I visit, I'll bring you something for your very own... until then, take this. It's not nearly as pretty as you are, but I guess it'll have to do." With that, he broke off a flower from the small bush and gently placed it in her hair. As Molly ran to find a mirror to look at her *present*, Kira hustled Odo into her room, nodding in passing at the strangely silent O'briens. As the doors swished shut, Kira faintly heard a hissed "I *told* you so!" coming from the other room. She rolled her eyes and turned to face the Constable. "So you brought me some *presents*?" She asked in a credible imitation of little Molly. She looked interestedly at the plant and the package. "Ah... as a matter of fact... Yes. I thought that since you once brought me a gift to *brighten up* my new quarters, I might return the favor. It's a Lorba bush from Pentos III. The scent from its flowers have certain medicinal qualities that are supposed to be very beneficial to expectant mothers and small children. Legends also say that it wards off evil spirits..." He shrugged, his scepticism apparent. She leaned forward and inhaled appreciatively from one of the flowers. "It's wonderful, Odo. Thank you..." Kira took the plant from his hands and placed it in a prominent position on the table by her bed. "I also brought you this..." He held out the package awkwardly, almost dropping the data PADDS. "What is it?" Kira asked as she gently rattled the package. "I guess you'll just have to open it..." Odo countered as he sat in the chair that Kira had obviously placed for him to use. With that encouragement the curious Bajoran sat on her bed and eagerly tore into the wrapping. "Delavian chocolates! These must have cost you a fortune!" "A bit... Have you ever had any?" She looked at him with an unreadable expression and shook her head. "Since I don't have a sense of taste, I was afraid you might not like them, so I tried them out on one of my Bajoran deputies. She said, and I quote *A box of those would be worth my hope of ever seeing the Celestial Temple...*, so I thought you might enjoy them?..." He watched expectantly as she popped one of the chocolates into her mouth and smiled in pleasure at the expression of pure bliss that spread across her features. "Mmm... I think I agree with your deputy... And what did I do to deserve these?" "These came into my possession recently and I thought of you. Besides, in many cultures it is considered traditional for a male to bring gifts when visiting a female acquaintance." "Yeah, but most of the time it's part of a romantic overture..." She trailed off in chagrin as she realized what she was saying. *Great, now I've made him uncomfortable and he'll be jumping for the door...* She dropped her head and began to pick at some of the wrapping still partially covering her gift. At his soft "Exactly..." Kira snapped her gaze back up to be snared by his. All conscious thought left her as she looked deep into those blue eyes that had fascinated her for so long. She read a wealth of meaning there, his unspoken love suddenly becoming more than just a hopeful possibility. Her body reacted, a warmth starting at her face and moving down through her body to pool between her thighs. She rose and slowly glided toward Odo, not knowing what she was going to do. Just that she had to *do* something. "Beep beep... Beep beep..." The ringing of the door chime slowly penetrated the fog that had swept her up. She backed away from Odo, who still sat, rigid as a post in his chair, his eyes never leaving her face. For one flaming instant, she could have happily pulled her phaser from its place in her nightstand and blasted whoever was on the other side of the door. "Who is it?..." She sat back on the bed and tried to calm herself. "Aunt Nerys... can I play in your room?" She flopped back on her bed and over Odo's dry chuckle called out "Just a minute!" "This *is* her room, and I did promise her she could play in here anytime she wanted... You don't mind do you Odo?" "Not at all, but her timing is horrible. We need to talk, Nerys. There are some things I need to tell you as well. I haven't been entirely honest with you, and there are some things you need to know..." Kira studied his face for a moment, searching for hints about his somewhat cryptic statement. "All right, just as soon as we duck Molly, you and I are going to settle some things." After a deep breath, she called out to "All right Molly, come on in!". Three hours later, it occurred to her that maybe it hadn't been such a good idea to invite the energetic youngster in. Kira, ensconced on her bed, propped up by pillows in every conceivable place she might need support by the solicitous Constable, looked down at her PADD as Odo spoke. "I arrested Palor Fel yesterday for public lewdness... again." She quirked a smile. "It seems he'd learn to avoid his..." She looked down at the child seated on the floor by Odo and surrounded by toys, and chose her words carefully. "... his *anatomy* demonstrations after the first three or four times you arrested him." "You know... I arrest more people for "Public Lewdness" on the Promenade these days. I think at least a quarter of my arrests are for the performance of acts that would be better left in private. I think it's contagious..." He shook his head. "I don't know, Constable..." Shooting him an arch look, Kira replied from her mound of cushions. A little *lewdness* can be a good thing..." At his shocked expression, she quickly amended. "Well, maybe not in public, anyway." She looked back down at her PADD, not even trying to hide her impish grin. He snorted, and to her surprise, actually *laughed*. Not the cynical chuckle she was used to... an almost normal laugh. She was beginning to love teasing Odo... he was the perfect "straight" man. A soft knock at the open door brought their attention to Keiko, who observed the sprawled Major with some amusement. "You certainly look comfortable... All you need now is a couple of Dax's Hoobishan *attendants* and you'd be set. What do you think Odo?" "I think she looks like a queen." He answered promptly, not even hesitating. Kira colored, and Keiko looked at them with a surprised and pleased expression on her face. After a few moments, Kira filled the silence. "As comfortable as possible." She raised a hand to her swollen abdomen. "I think Kirayoshi wants to be either an acrobat or kickboxer... And he's in there trying to make up his mind." "Bad?" Keiko moved to sit beside her on the bed, accidentally dislodging some of the piled pillows and a couple of stuffed animals a helpful Molly had contributed. Nerys took the hand Keiko held over her abdomen and placed it so she could feel the stirring of her unborn child. The woman's eyes lit up as she felt the movement of the young life who had already been through so much. "Not too bad. He just seems to be a bit... active... tonight. Maybe it's Odo's influence. He seems to have a profound effect on O'brien children..." She gestured with the PADD to where the normally rambunctious Molly sat quietly almost between the changeling's feet. "Besides, I don't need any attendants. I've got the Chief of Security himself to watch over me and wait on me hand and foot." Odo nodded in agreement and bent over to straighten one of the stuffed animals propped against his leg. "Speaking of O'brien children... it's time for this one to get ready for bed." While Keiko dealt with the inevitable protests and began to clear up the scattered toys, Kira covertly watched the Constable as he smoothly helped to trundle the unwilling Molly off to bed. When he returned, she regarded him quizzically. "You're full of surprises aren't you? I never suspected you were one of *those* people." "What do you mean?" "You know, those people that kids and small animals just seem to love..." His eyes grew distant as he went back to a time and place he avoided thinking about as much as possible. "I don't get along with small animals that well, but I always did have a fondness for children. I had several young friends at the research center. They were test subjects like me. Only they were more... expendable than the "shapeshifter". I spent most of my free time with them when I first learned to assume humanoid shape. And taking care of them after the experiments were... over. I stopped going there after they all had died and a new group of orphans was brought in to replace them." "Oh, Odo... I'm sorry. I didn't mean to bring back bad memories." It's all right Nerys. It was a bad time, but I'm not that special, a lot of Bajorans went through worse. There are a few *good* memories from that time of my life as well. I'll never forget those children, and the things they suffered. Never again... " He repeated one of the slogans of the Resistance, born after the deeds of the research teams had become public knowledge on Bajor. "Not while I'm alive..." "Me either..." She regarded him with large, solemn brown eyes. He gathered himself and made a conscious effort to lighten the mood, which had suddenly turned dark. "Well, my queen, can I get you anything?" He asked, his eyes twinkling. The mood successfully restored, Kira's impish grin returned in full force. "No thanks... I've got everything I need right here." As he picked up his data PADD and resumed his seat, she dropped hers on the bed. "I think we've made a dent in these reports... what do you say we do something else for a while? How about a game of Kistrel? We haven't played since..." They had spent many companionable nights over a Kistrel board, swapping stories and sharing thoughts on any number of things. She had begun to take them for granted... until suddenly she no longer had them. "Since Shakaar... I know, and I'm sorry." "You're forgiven... as long as you never do it again. It's over there." As Odo retrieved the Kistrel set, she struggled to raise herself to a more upright position and began to throw pillows off the bed and onto the floor to make room. It took them a couple of minutes to arrange a makeshift "table" consisting of a pillow and a metal tray. Kira partially crossed her legs and scooted the construction up against her shins where she could reach it. Odo, for his part, simply sat at the foot of the bed and leaned forward with his usual unconscious grace. "Is this going to be all right?" Odo looked dubiously at her as he noticed the strain this setup was going to put on her back and legs. "It looks a bit uncomfortable for you..." "I think this will be fine..." Kira replied, unwilling to abandon the idea. She ran her hands over the worn box that held her Kistrel set. It had belonged to her father long ago, and was one of the few possessions she truly treasured. She had carried it with her all through the occupation, always keeping it nearby as a reminder of the family she had lost. She opened it and brought out the somewhat decrepit board and began setting up the chipped and mismatched pieces. She fingered a crude carving of a Bajoran freedom fighter and set it in place on the board. "Furel carved this for me back when he still had two arms... before the interrogation center." Odo sat silently looking down at the board, unsure of what to say. "Odo... " She began, then hesitated. Finally she finished "Let's play." Obviously she had something to say, but Odo was willing to let her find the words. They were quiet for a time, concentrating on the strategies of the game. "What is it you wanted to talk about, Odo? I hope it's nothing *too* terrible..." She rushed out the last, feeling a rush of embarrassment and hating herself for it. *Grow up Nerys* She flogged herself mentally. She felt like a bug under a magnifying glass as Odo stared at her, his face like a mask. She unconsciously rubbed at her protesting knee and moved one of her pieces while she waited for the hesitating Constable to answer her. He reached out to move one of his pieces, shaped in the likeness of an evilly grinning Cardassian soldier, to threaten Kira's Kai. She smiled and nodded, then scowled at the board as she realized the sneaky Constable had her completely outflanked and that she was only a few moves away from losing. She sneaked a peek from under her brows and caught him regarding her with a gentle expression laced with just a bit of smugness. "Damn!" She muttered under her breath. He held her gaze and shrugged. "You seem to be a bit off your game, tonight Nerys..." he replied in a teasing tone. She leaned forward slightly, her look suddenly becoming very intent... "I guess I'm a bit... distracted." The silence stretched between them, neither looking away. "Maybe it's time to for that talk..." Odo finally ventured. Seeing her nod of assent, he continued "I've been keeping a secret from you for... years now, Nerys. Your friendship is the most important thing in the world to me, and I've tried to keep it from affecting that friendship. But you deserve to know..." Kira watched him, her heart in her throat. "Kira Nerys, I've know you've considered me a friend for a long time now, but lately I think I've begun to feel something more from you... I want you to know... that is... " he fumbled for the words. "Oww!!!" Kira's leg kicked out, knocking the Kistrel board into Odo's lap, scattering pieces all over her room. She clutched at her calf and tried in vain to reach over her swollen abdomen to reach her toes. "Nerys, what's wrong!" Odo cried, sounding very near to panic. "It's a cramp..." She gritted through clenched teeth. She gave up trying to reach her foot and lay back on the pillows in obvious distress. "What can I do? Doctor Bashir..." He made as if to slap at his commbadge. "Don't you dare call in a medical emergency just over a cramp! Julian would have both our heads! Just grab my toes and push them back toward me... Oww!! It'll go away in a minute." Odo grabbed the offending digits and gently pushed as directed. Gradually Kira began to relax as the pain lessened. "I wonder if Miles is asleep..." At his questioning look, she clarified "He's been giving me massages lately... they're about the only thing that helps when my legs start knotting up." "There's no need to wake the Chief... I think I could manage... if you want?" He diffidently offered, eager to keep the O'brien's on the other side of the door. She hesitated a moment, wondering if there was more being offered than a simple massage. *I think I'm going to find out...* She slid down the bed and lay back, propping her head up on a pillow and fishing a couple of Kistrel pieces from under her backside. After clearing the ruins of their aborted game from the bed, Odo resumed his seat. Taking her feet and placing them in his lap, he began to slowly work on them, starting at the toes, and working his way slowly upward to her ankles. Kira closed her eyes and let herself relax. "You have gentle hands, Odo. Miles always makes me feel like he's going to break my bones. I mean, it feels good... but I guess I like a little more pleasure and a little less pain in my massages..." Odo barely heard her, lost in the sensations of touch and motion that were so integral to being what he was. He reached her knees, kneading her calves and stroking the tension from bunched muscles. *Prophets... I want her so much...* The dull ache he was so accustomed to had turned to a searing brand, lodged where his "heart" would be, were he a humanoid. Kira sighed, and stretched her arms up to grasp the headboard of her bed. "I wonder how Miles will take it when I tell him he's been replaced." As his hands faltered, she murmured dreamily, "Don't stop..." "He's good... but nothing like you... ohhh...." She moaned as his hands found and defeated a particularly tight muscle in her thigh. As he looked down at his hands as they played over the recumbant Major, Odo began to see patches of his true form shifting and writhing as he lost control. Despite his best efforts, his hands collapsed into liquid that rippled and carressed, teased and massaged her from her toes to her thighs. Kira stiffened at this new sensation and an involuntary cry escaped her lips as she arched her back in reaction. *Oh... my...* It felt like liquid pleasure had been poured onto her now almost thrashing legs. Abruptly, it was gone. She opened her eyes to see Odo withdrawing from her, twin columns of gold reforming into brown clad arms as he turned his back to her and made to leave the bed. She wallowed, and finally rocked her way to a seated position, calling his name. He hesitated, and she reached out to place a hand on his shoulder. "Odo, what's wrong?" "I shouldn't have done that... I'm sorry... I didn't mean to take advantage of you like that..." "What do you mean?... Take advantage of me? You were just giving me the best massage of my life!" She exclaimed, honestly puzzled. "Nerys, in my natural state, all my senses are attuned to touch...vibration... motion. Any touch is somewhat... intimate, and what I just did was even more so..." "Are you saying you *enjoyed* touching me?" She looked at him wonderingly. "Umm... yes..." He replied softly and glanced back to see her blushing to the roots of her hair. "I should go..." He tried to rise, but she maintained her grip on his shoulder. "I... enjoyed it too." She reached down to take his hand and brought it to her lips. She nuzzled at his palm, nibbling and kissing until he gasped. Her fears seemed distant and trivial now. Caught up in the moment, she let her instincts take over. "Maybe we should pick up where we left off..." she suggested with a nervous smile as she watched the hand she held melt and flow over her forearm and inside her sleeve to caress her skin. "Nerys... Tell me what to do..." His voice held a pleading quality that touched her heart. *This is a mistake... but I can't help it... even if it means I never touch her again, I've got to have tonight.* Odo gave over any last resistance and moved over the now shuddering Major as she reclined backwards. He reached out with his still solid hand and brushed it along her cheek, looking deeply into her soft brown eyes. Neither of them heard the soft hiss of the bedroom door opening. "Mr. Odo... would you read me a story?" Molly stood in the doorway holding a large book, staring innocently at the pair on the bed. Both froze for a moment, then Odo quickly began to reform his humanoid body as Kira covertly straightened her disarrayed clothing. Keiko came rushing in behind her wayward daughter. "Molly! I told you to leave your aunt Nerys alone!" She scolded, then the details of the scene before her began to sink in. She took in the scattered Kistrel pieces, the disarrayed bed, the flustered and almost panting Kira, and the painfully embarrassed Odo. Odo shot to his feet and was gone before Kira had time to do more than call his name or Keiko to hear his hastily mumbled apologies. Keiko looked back the way the fleeing Constable had gone and back to Kira, who now had her hands raised to her face and was rubbing tiredly at her eyes."Oh! I'm sorry... We didn't mean..." she searched for a graceful way to make an escape. "C'mon Molly" She grabbed her daughter's hand and began to pull her from the room. "But mommy!... ". The doors hissed shut behind them cutting off the child's protests. "Damn... Damn... Damn!!!" Kira muttered and lapsed into Bajoran, swearing in frustration. She wondered if she had offended the Prophets somehow... It seemed like something, or *someone* was doing everything possible to keep the two of them apart. She rocked her way out of the bed and began to pick up the pillows and kistrel pieces scattered around the room. *Maybe I should go after him...* "Computer... location of Constable Odo?" She called out, thinking to follow him and finish their "talk". "That information is not available... Location functions for Security Chief Odo have been disabled... Alpha one security clearance required for override." "Why would he do that?" She mumbled to herself. "Unless he didn't want *me* to find him." She concluded, a little hurt. *But he all but told me he was attracted to me... No... he didn't. He said lately he'd felt MY attraction to HIM... He didn't say anything at all about how he felt... But what about that "massage", and taking "advantage" of me? Maybe I'm reading too much into that... I DID "come on" to him, after all... maybe he didn't know what he was getting into... I'm sure he doesn't know too much about "humanoid mating rituals" and that kind of thing.* She stopped for a moment as she moved to her cabinet to put away her Kistrel set. *I'm doing it again, aren't I? Running myself in circles over this whole thing... What's happening to me? I can't believe I'm acting like this...* Her eye lit on the PADDs comprising her Starfleet exam in the bottom of the drawer where she had stuffed them while preparing for Odo's visit. *Maybe if I work on this a little, it'll help clear my head, get my thoughts organized...* With that thought, she reclined in the chair recently vacated by Odo, her mind once again awhirl with what the Constable had been to her... and what he was fast becoming... ****** Odo wandered through the darkened corridors, a shadow amongst shadows. Lighting and life support were at bare minimum here in the abandoned areas of the station, and it was uninhabited except for voles and the occasional visit by station undesirables making some black market transaction. He had retreated to his only haunt not known by Kira to try to gather his shattered composure and to try to make some sense of his welter of confused thoughts and impulses. As his chagrin at being interrupted by Mrs. Obrien faded, a feeling of almost elation crept over him. Far from rejecting him, Kira had accepted his overtures. His *otherness* hadn't bothered her. In fact, she had enjoyed his touch. *Quite a bit*, he thought with just a trace of smugness. *She may not love me, but at least she enjoyes my massages...* With a wry grin, he re-engaged the locator mechanism in his commbadge, hoping that no one had attempted to find him after his flight from the O'brien's quarters. He moved over to one of the viewports and looked out, not really seeing the beautiful starscape thus presented. His thoughts were of Kira and what he would do when next they met, when the sound of hushed voices came to him down through the abandoned corridors. "Did you bring the goods? Are you sure you weren't followed? Odo has eyes and ears everywhere..." *Quark. Seems his business has taken him far afield, tonight* A small bit of shapeshifting enhanced the receptivity of his hearing apparatus, making it as good as any Ferengi's. "Of course nobody followed me, Ferengi..." A rough, unfamiliar voice. "Snuck these right by that do- gooder puddle of goo, I did. So... did you bring the money?" His state of near elation suddenly became a full blown case of joy. The little reprobate was up to no good and here was a perfect opportunity to introduce him to a holding cell. Smiling beatifically, Odo moved to gather up his prey... ****** Kira sat at her console, PADD in hand, trying to compose a suitable answer to the "Odo Problem" as she had come to think of it. She had encountered some difficulty, as words having nothing to do with friendship kept sneaking into her descriptions. *How much is that Starfleet Admiral going to care about how much I like Odo's eyes... or how soft his voice can be?* Kira shook her head at the thought and deleted the last few lines she had written. Once again her door chime interrupted her. Irritation rose in a palpable wave as she called out curtly. "What?!" "It's Keiko, Nerys... I thought you might want to talk. May I come in?" Kira regarded her pitiful attempt at work, and then looked at the door and sighed. *Maybe it'll help to talk about it... She's never going to leave me alone, otherwise...* "All right". Kira swiveled to face the solemn Asian woman as she hesitantly entered her chamber. Keiko moved to sit on Kira's bed again, regarding the aggravated Major thoughtfully. "I'm sorry about interrupting you two earlier. I didn't know you were that... intimate." She concluded with a slight smile. They sat looking at each other, Kira uncomfortable and not knowing what to say , and Keiko practically bursting with questions, yet trying not to be *too* nosy. Finally Keiko couldn't stand it anymore. "All right! I give up! If you're not going to *tell* me, I'm going to have to drag it out of you!" She leaned forward eagerly, her eyes alight with good humor and a strange, almost predatory gleam. So, tell me all about it... How long have you been seeing each other? Who else knows? Why have you been keeping it a secret? Is he any good?" She added with a sly smile. "Keiko!" At Kira's shocked exclamation, Keiko broke off her inquiries and noted the rosy flush that burst from the embarrassed Major's face. "I guess that answers that question... What about the rest?" "Ah... It's not that simple, Keiko. We're not seeing each other... Dax knows... I'm sure a few other people do too... It's not a secret, not really... I have feelings for Odo, but I'm not sure how *he* feels... We just got carried away tonight... I guess you could say I seduced him..." Kira paused and took a deep breath. "I'm babbling. Let me just start from the beginning." Over the next few minutes, Kira began to detail her dilemna for the inquisitive O'brien. "So... Why haven't you told him how you feel?" Keiko finally asked in puzzlement after Kira had finally wound up her rambling tale. "I've tried... I've really tried. It seems like every time I get the nerve up to tell him, we get interrupted." Keiko had the good grace to look a bit shamefaced at that. "It's not that easy, this is different... *He's* different than any man I've ever known. He's so... innocent. What if I tell him and he doesn't feel the same way? I don't want to lose our friendship. I guess I'm scared to face him. Huh. Hard to believe from me, right?" "It *is* a bit out of character for you. So what are you going to do?" "I thought you might be able to give me a few ideas on that..." Kira answered tiredly as tapped halfheartedly at her PADD. The would be advisor leaned forward and rubbed at her chin. "Hmm... What are you doing?" "I'm just working on my Starfleet entrance exam... I have to " Select a non Bajoran, non Starfleet individual whom you consider a close friend. Describe why you consider that person a friend. Discuss how your life has been altered or affected by said individual in both positive and negative instances. In conclusion, have said person answer the above questions as they relate to you and compare and contrast your answers." "Tell me Keiko, did you have to answer stupid questions like this when you entered Starfleet, or are they just tormenting Bajorans? Or me in particular?" "Yes... That's part of the test, seeing if you'll actually answer even the most inane questions. I remember my psych exam..." She broke off in mid sentence. "That's it! Of course! That's what we'll do!" Kira warily watched the excited Asian woman as she jumped up from the bed and snagged the PADD from her grasp. "What are you talking about?" Kira called after her as she paced back and forth reading and muttering to herself. "Yes, that'll do... We can reword that sentence... Oh, that's beautiful... Perfect." "Keiko... Keiko!!" The excited human stopped in her tracks at the Bajoran's shout. With wide eyes she asked "What is it, Nerys?" "Just what do you think you're doing?" "I'm helping you to tell Odo you love him... Isn't that obvious?" At Kira's blank look of incomprehension, she clarified. "You've pretty much got the bare bones of how you feel about him written down right here... All we need to do is add to it a bit and then send it to him and see what he says. I just *know* he feels the same way. It'll be easier this way... You won't have to face him, and you can still let him know how you feel." "Haven't you ever written a love letter before?" Keiko asked incredulously. "Not really... I didn't learn to read until I was fourteen. Even then, if I wanted someone I just told them about it. We didn't have much time for courtships in the Resistance. Not everyone gets the privilege of a pleasant Federation childhood..." She broke off, before her still simmering irritation could get the better of her. "I'm sorry Keiko. You didn't deserve that." "It's ok, Nerys. I know you're a little out of sorts about all this." The unruffled human replied graciously. "I don't know if this is such a good idea..." Kira wavered, half regretting letting Keiko in on her problem. "Trust me Nerys. You'll thank me in the morning. Now let's get to work..." With that, Keiko pulled up a chair beside the reluctant author. ****** Finally, after a bit of argument, Kira had sent her helper off to bed after an hour or so with the promise that she would send her message to Odo before she finally went to sleep herself. There were some things she wanted to say that were just too personal for Keiko or anyone else to hear. Her hands shook a bit as she tapped in the final few sentences. "Odo, all of this may be a bit of a surprise to you, but I had to tell you how I feel, and I don't think I can do it in person just now. This essay seemed like a good way to get my thoughts all together so I hope you don't mind my telling you this way." "I'll understand if you would prefer to keep our relationship on a professional basis, although I'd like to keep our friendship if I haven't already ruined it. If you are uncomfortable talking about this, just send me a message like this one. If you want, we can pretend I never sent this, but please let me know how you feel." "Your friend, no matter what else. Kira Nerys." After a few moments hesitation, Kira jabbed the "Transmit" button on her terminal before she had a chance to lose her nerve. *Well... that's it. Now what do I do? There's no way I'm going to be able to sleep.* Her gaze travelled around the room, to finally fix on the small shrine across from her bed. Without any other thought, she found herself in the pose of supplication before her prophets, waiting for answers to a universe full of questions. ***** The next morning... Quark stumbled from the none too gentle shove that propelled him into the holding cell. "Dammit Odo! Let me out of here!" The irate Ferengi howled and beat at the force screen that had sprung up between them, blowing on his singed fingers as his part time friend/full time enemy regarded him with some amusement. "Now Quark... Why would I want to do that?" He replied, deadpan, as one of his deputies handed him the night's reports and the morning's messages on a PADD. "You know very well that the magistrate ordered you to release me after I helped you crack that smuggling ring!" He squalled in vexation. "Betrayed your co-conspirators is more like it!" Odo replied with his trademark snort of derision. "But he didn't say *when* to release you, did he?" After a moments pause while he scanned the PADD , Odo conceded. "Don't worry, Quark, I'll have to release you as soon as the paperwork goes through... It shouldn't be more than 26 hours or so..." Odo lost track of the Ferengi's complaints as he caught sight of one particular entry. "Message from Major Kira: received 3:14 hours, Bajoran standard time." "Nerys..." Suddenly nervous, he hastily thumbed the button to decode the message and began reading intently. He quickly ran through the message, then read it through once again in disbelief. He stood there staring at the words, unaware of his surroundings, until a piercing whistle almost caused him to drop the PADD. He looked up to meet Quark's narrowed, questioning eyes. "Well?" "Well what?" "Are you going to tell me what Kira said that's got you grinning like a Denevian clown fish, or am I going to have to guess?" "None of your business, Quark..." After studying the Constable shrewdly for a moment, Quark hazarded, "I thought you'd given up on her... were going to stick to the essentials?" "Quark! This is neither the time nor the place for your gossip mongering!" Damn that Ferengi, anyway. "Go on... get out of here." Odo inexplicably slapped the control to deactivate the force screen. "I'm tired of your whining, anyway." He turned and stalked back to his desk, ignoring Quark's landed fish expression as he followed. Quark was already through the Security office doors when he remembered his possessions, confiscated from his person at his arrest,still in the custody of the Constable. Greed fought a brief battle with prudence, triumphing as usual. Putting on a bold front, he stumped back into the office, finding Odo once again studying the PADD intently. "I'll have my things back... if you haven't turned into a petty thief, that is..." "I'll leave it to you to fill that role around here, Quark." Odo growled, rummaging about in his desk, throwing out a Ferengi tooth sharpener, a half dozen strips of gold-pressed latinum and other odds and ends only a Ferengi would keep in his pockets. Seeing his chance while the Constable was distracted, Quark impulsively grabbed the PADD and quickly scanned a few lines before Odo wrenched it out of his hands. Quick as a cat, the irate changeling was over the desk and had Quark's lapels clenched in an iron grasp. "You just can't take a hint, can you Ferengi?" He queried in his most menacing tone, thereby utterly surprised when Quark grabbed him in turn in a bear hug. "I'm so happy!" Quark almost bawled, leaking tears onto a suddenly *very* uncomfortable changeling. After hesitating a moment, Odo broke free of the emotional Ferengi. "Quark! What in the name of the Prophets is wrong with you! If you ever do anything like that again, I'll make sure you *never* leave that holding cell!" He glowered and raised a hand to abort Quark's attempt to embrace him again. "But Odo! Kira tells you she loves you, and that's all you can say!" Quark wiped at his eyes, grinning as only a Ferengi can. "Why all the sudden interest, you little thief? You never seemed to care that much before... Besides there's no profit in this for you". "Oh, but there's where you're wrong, Constable... Thanks to the Major's little confession there, I just won 47 bars of gold pressed latinum from a little pool I've been running at the bar..." Quark ran one finger around his lobes suggestively, not even trying to conceal his glee, whether over his windfall or the Major's message, Odo wasn't sure. Waving off Odo's outraged scowl and incipient lecture, Quark scooped up the items on the table and began backing away. As the Security office doors closed over his leer he offered one last bit of advice. "Go on... get out of here and find her before whatever drugs she's taking wear off..." ******* Kira rubbed her burning eyes once again as she regarded her reflection. *I look like Hell* she thought as she catalogued the dark circles under her bloodshot eyes, the haggard expression, and the pale and waxy complexion. All the effects of several days of little or no sleep. *What a coincidence... I feel like Hell.* It had been three hours since her ill fated attempt at meditation and prayer. It hadn't taken her long to realize the Prophets didn't have anything in particular to say at the moment. She was too nervous and edgy to sit still, anyway. "Nerys! Breakfast is ready!" Keiko's infuriatingly cheerful voice over the intercom shattered her reverie. "I'll be right there Keiko." Passing her hands through her hair to give it some semblance of order, Kira levered herself to her feet and lumbered out to join her adopted "family". Ignoring Miles' double take and obvious concern at her appearance as she seated herself, Kira met Keiko's silently mouthed "Any news?" with a small shake of her head. After picking over her food for a few minutes she finally managed to extricate herself and wearily headed for OPS, dreading what was obviously going to be a long day. She headed down the station corridors already deep in thought. *I wish Odo would get it over with... one way or the other. This waiting, not knowing, is driving me crazy...* "Major.... Major Kira!" A raised voice behind her and the sound of running feet caused her to turn at the turbolift doors. "Jake! You're up early. What can I do for you?" Jake slowed to a walk and awkwardly leaned on one arm against the bulkhead by the turbolift. "Have you had a chance to read my story yet?" He asked breathlessly. Kira started guiltily. She had completely forgotten the favor Jake had asked almost two weeks ago. "No I haven't Jake. But I promise you I'll get to it as soon as possible". "Since the story is set on Bajor during the Occupation, I thought you'd be the perfect proofreader. You know... you were there and everything." He paused, a tad uncomfortably. "I really appreciate this. My professor at the Pennington Institute is waiting for it, so please let me know when you've finished." "I tell you what... I'll head back to my quarters right now and pick it up. I'll get it back to you sometime this evening, ok?" She stepped into the turbolift and the doors closed over her before the Jake could reply. On entering her quarters she was greeted by the station's ubiquitous computer voice informing her that she had a message waiting. *Who'd leave a message for me here? Everyone knows I'm staying with the O'briens... Odo. It's got to be.* Forgetting her errand, she hurriedly activated her workstation and called up the message. Heart hammering, she impatiently skipped through the beginnning of the message, missing the telltale "date and time received" indicators. *All right... he's using the essay to answer me. Professional... committed. Honorable. Satisfactory performance?? Sometimes impulsive? Negative impact on his duties?* She finished reading what sounded like a somewhat aloof letter of recommendation. She sat back in her chair, feeling her face flush and then grow cold. The room contracted around her, until she felt she was looking down a dark tunnel to a far away spot of light that was her computer terminal. Hot tears trickled from her eyes while the roaring in her ears drowned out the few choked sobs that escaped her. Disappointment and sadness warred with hurt anger for what seemed like an eternity until anger finally won out. "Damn him! Why couldn't he just come out and say he's not interested!" She looked down at her shaking hands and clenched them into fists. *He could have at least explained why! He owes me that much, instead of letting me make a fool of myself!* Her anger at the all the anxiety she had suffered, the mixed signals, and the outright refusal of Odo to acknowledge her feelings, washed over her until she finally called out. "Computer! Location of *Constable* Odo!" "Security Chief Odo is in the Security Office." Without a further word, the infuriated Major stormed from her quarters, intent on a reckoning with the unsuspecting Constable... ******* Odo had just finished a few absolutely necessary duties and was on his way to find Kira when he ran into a blazing mass of red haired fury not a dozen feet outside his office doors. "You!! You slimy son of a diseased beetle-worm!" She began, rapidly degenerating into a even more graphic descriptions of his personal hygiene and ancestry. Odo, for his part, completely shocked and wincing every time her voice reached the upper registers, raised his hands placatingly as he nervously eyed the gathering crowd. "Nerys, what's wrong? What happened?" "Don't you *dare* call me Nerys after all you've put me through, you Prophets forsaken sack of..." Now Odo's temper began to heat, itself, and he cut her off. "What *I've* put *you* through! You don't have any idea what you're talking about, *Major*! I'll have you know that you've tortured me for years..." Her shove was as unexpected as it was effective, propelling Odo halfway back to his office and into some of the interested station inhabitants, who were openly beginning to cheer. She followed, giving him another shove. Odo, angry as ever, still kept enough of his wits about him to use this as a means of getting away from the rapidly growing crowd. He backed through the doors, Kira following, straining the ability of the universal translator to keep up as she switched languages again and again. Once they were inside he interposed the desk between them, jabbing at the controls to close and lock the doors. Finally, Kira paused in her pursuit. "Why'd you do it, Odo? Why?" "Why did I do what? I have no idea what you're talking about, you crazy Bajoran! Does this have anything to do with your pregnancy?" He had heard Chief O'brien tell horror stories of his wife's bizarre behavior when pregnant. Maybe Kira was being similarly affected... "You know very well what I'm talking about! That little matter of brushing me off... like you do all your other *admirers*. Like that Bolian woman! Like a half dozen others I've seen you back away from and ignore until they *got the message*!" She stalked back and forth, as Odo nervously watched her to make sure she didn't try to attack him again. "I thought we were friends! First and foremost we always tell each other the truth, right?! I could've handled you not feeling the same way I do... did. But you couldn't be honest, you couldn't tell me how you feel, you *had* to run away from me like you always do, dammit!" She dashed away the tears that had begun to flow again, against her will. "You had to send me some vague little letter, hoping that I'd understand... That you had no interest in my *mating rituals*! Well, you won't have to worry, Constable. I won't bother you any more. Now open the door." She turned her back to him with an air of finality. "How could I ever tell you anything?" He shouted. "You were always so wrapped up in your own *affairs* that you never once noticed..." Suddenly Odo's anger was gone, replaced by sadness and a deep weariness. He was tired of playing games. It was time to tell the truth, no matter what else happened, they owed each other that. He came out from behind the desk to lay a hand on her shoulder. As his hand touched her, Kira whipped about, twisting his arm in a way that would have done some serious damage to a humanoid. Odo was ready this time though, and simply let his arm melt and slip out of her grasp. Not to be discouraged, Kira immediately swung a forearm to his chest and struck him in the face with the back of her hand with deadly intent. This time he let his substance catch and hold both limbs, using his much greater strength to immobilize her. This seemed only to anger her more, and he was forced wrap more and more of his substance about her to keep her from injuring herself. Finally, her cursing and panting turned to soft and stilted sobs as she laid her head on his "shoulder". This continued until he finally managed the words, offered up like a gift. "You never once noticed... I love you." Her whole body stiffened at this revelation, and she looked up at him suspiciously through swollen and puffy eyes. "What about your *message*?" More than a trace of annoyance crossed his features. "What message?" "The message you left for me back at my old quarters, answering the one I sent you this morning." At this, Odo was truly speechless. "You mean... I didn't... You thought... That was days ago, Nerys. I just got your message only a few minutes ago." Odo could both see and feel the flush that began to quickly spread throughout her body. "But that means..." She began. "You didn't check to see when the message arrived?" He teased gently, and her blush was complete. "That was for Starfleet. For your entrance exam." "So you didn't..." She began, but he cut her off. "Let me give you my reply now, so there'll be no further misunderstandings." He smiled wistfully and bent to gently kiss her. "Nerys... I've loved you for what seems forever. Without ever any hope of you returning that love. These past few days, I've felt like a whole new world has opened up to me. I had begun to hope that maybe you felt something for me, but this morning when I read what you had to say, I knew that I am truly luckier than I have any right to be, and that I have to *tell* you how I feel. As he spoke, Odo began reforming his body, gently enveloping his love in his *solid* embrace. She returned it, burying her tear stained face once again in his shoulder. After a time, she looked up to meet his gaze. "Odo! Tears? You're crying!" She breathed, wonder evident in her tone. "I thought..." Odo blinked and favored her with one of his oh so rare, beautiful smiles. "I hope you don't mind... I borrowed some of yours..." He glanced down at the perfectly dry shoulder that had been showered by tears for some time now... "I've always heard that tears are appropriate when you are deliriously happy... So, since this is the happiest day of my life, I thought I might try it." "Constable... I love you." "I never thought I'd hear you say that." "Well, get used to it. You're going to hear it at least a dozen times a day from now on." "If you insist." At his throaty chuckle, she murmured contentedly. "What is it?" "We have quite an audience..." With that, she turned to regard the multitude of faces pressed all along the office doors, peering inside. Bashir, Dax, the Chief, Quark, even Morn were among the throng. Faintly, they could hear laughter, and what sounded like... cheering. "Well maybe we should give them something to *really* cheer about..." She replied huskily and drew him down into a long kiss that drove all thoughts of propriety out of his mind... The End