Author



Star Trek ® is a registered trademark of Paramount Pictures.


RIPTIDE
by Judith / OdoGoddess@aol.com
DS9 [NC-17] O/K


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Comments, questions and rave (or rabid) reviews may be sent to:  
OdoGoddess@aol.com

DISCLAIMER:  This non-profit material was produced out of love for 
Star Trek: Deep Space Nine and is not intended to infringe upon the 
Star Trek copyrights of Viacom, Paramount Pictures Corporation, nor 
those of any other legal holders of Star Trek copyrights, in this or 
any other universe...

[ALL lyrics are from the incredible song 'Possession' which belongs 
to and was written (c) by the phenomenal Sarah MacLachlan]

        ----------------------------------

RIPTIDE, part one
by Judith / OdoGoddess@aol.com

Author's Note:  this story begins after "Ties of Blood and Water"...


        "Listen as the wind blows
        from across the great divide
        voices trapped in yearning
        memories trapped in time..."

        "the night is my companion
        and solitude my guide
        would I spend forever here
        and not be satisfied?"


The whitecaps left speckled foam along the stretch of Redland Beach and it's 
aptly named sparkling vermilion sands.  It was one of the rare private 
beaches on Bajor, and touted to be the most beautiful.  Kira Nerys scarcely 
noticed the beauty of the sight in her weary sorrow.  It was peace she sought 
from her thoughts...from her memories.

Kira had stayed on her homeworld after the burial ceremony for Tekeny Ghemor, 
his death recalling to her all the horror, the futility, the raw anger her 
father's death had given her.  If it had fueled her anger, it had also 
provided the spiritual numbing she'd required in order to mold herself into 
the ruthless warrior she had been.  __So very much I owe him...even to my 
feelings...even to the state of my soul.__

The weariness of her spirit seemed to weigh her down and Kira found herself 
sinking down, onto the soft, red sand.  The surf rushed up, then receded, a 
few yards from her feet.  Shadows circled her from overhead, Bajoran gully 
terns searching the receding foam for dark spots, indicating holes in the 
sand, possible food sources.  Kira they ignored, as she ignored them.

She merely watched the surf advance and retreat, endlessly...and her thoughts 
began to drift.


        ***


"Very well, sir.  I'll let Captain Sisko know."

"Good trip, Rodriguez."

"Thank you, sir." the broad-shouldered, dusky-handsome young Starfleet 
security officer headed for the shuttle launch pads.  Odo watched his 
retreating back and sighed.

The security conference they'd attended had been as tedious as he'd expected, 
but he'd dutifully gathered notes, given his own lecture on Dominion and 
Maquis activity, then allowed himself the privilege of turning his mind to 
the real reason he'd agreed to come to Bajor.

Kira Nerys hadn't returned to her duties on DS9 with immediacy after seeing 
to Legate Ghemor's burial.  The majority of DS9's senior staff were of the 
opinion that she was still working through the loss of yet another person she 
cared for.  Odo, being a minority of one, knew better.  He knew just how 
much, how *deeply* she had let Ghemor into her heart...and how deeply 
disappointed she had been in what she had believed was his betrayal.  He had 
made her see that it was not Ghemor that she was so disappointed in, but 
herself.  After that, events had happened with a rapidity he knew was going 
to cause her distress once the air had cleared.

The air had been clear now for about a week.  Six days of unspoken worry by 
Odo and solicitous (if quiet) gossip by the rest of the senior staff.  Then, 
as if by providence, the Bajoran ministry of Security had called for his 
presence at a conference.  He would attend, of course; but, this also 
conferred him the chance, perhaps, of being able to see how Kira was 
faring...surreptitiously, of course.

For some reason, Odo knew that just as Kira had needed the stern advice he'd 
given her on the station, she now needed the friendship, the support, he'd 
always provided for her...and always would.


        ***


Nerys did not really notice that the shadows were lengthening along the 
beach.  The Bajoran gully terns that had been crying and wheeling overhead 
were now gone, no longer casting for baby sea snails or shore slugs along the 
coast, tucking up in their hillside nests with their chicks, occasionally 
casting glances at the stranger in their midst, who sat unmoving on the paler 
sand of the upper shore.

There was still enough light to see, the sun had yet to drop beneath the 
horizon, although it was behind the cliff that now provided shade.  She 
barely noticed.  Images assailed her, of her father, of his death ceremony, 
attended dry-eyed and clear-voiced as she recited the chant.  

'so brave, our Nerys'
        'little Kira with the heart of a cynoraptor'
'how proud her father would be'
        'not a tear, did you notice?  Just hungry to get her hands on those 
       bloody lizards.'

What did they know of the heart of Kira Nerys?  It was jagged and torn, 
bloodied on the edges of the horrifying knowledge that she was helpless...a 
girl.  And now?  A useless adult.  Still helpless to stop what was happening.  
On Cardassia, now the property of the Dominion.  On her homeworld, where the 
man she had taken for a lover did not have time for her...could not talk to 
her comfortably about things which troubled her...would not understand why 
she was so troubled by the death of a Cardassian.  He hadn't.

Edon had been eager for the information she'd relayed.  But when she'd tried 
to get him to listen, to her feelings, to her remembrances, he had demurred, 
uncomfortable, no doubt troubled by his own painful memories.  That was just 
an excuse though, Kira realized now.

She had never really been able to *talk* to Shakaar.  He made his case, there 
it was, take it or leave it.  He looked at things in two ways, like a 
strategic military advisor, or like a farmer.  Neither way was helpful, since 
both those men didn't want to talk about what troubled them...nor did they 
wish to hear about others troubles.  It made them uncomfortable.  *She* made 
Shakaar uncomfortable.

He was glad for her presence in his bed, she knew.  He was grateful to be 
able to make a comment or joke without having to explain the past, as so many 
resistance members had learned when pairing up with a non-Bajoran, or a 
Bajoran who had not been in the resistance.  He laughed at her trite little 
comments and excused her temper, but when it came to listening...

Shakaar was a damn good fighter, a decent farmer, an equitable First 
Minister...but he was not a particularly attentive man when it came to 
someone baring their heart.  It hadn't exactly been necessary during the 
Occupation.  As a rule, heart-to-heart discussion had been rare, almost 
frowned upon in the resistance.  No one really cared to discuss things 
besides plans of campaign?  They knew each other better than they might have 
otherwise chosen, living in cramped caves, feeding, bathing and tending 
wounded; under such conditions, talk was superfluous.  Even during the 
periods of waiting, quiet was cherished, filled only with song...and prayer 
or meditation.  She remembered those times.  She remembered the person she 
was.  She was not that person anymore.

So who was she?  Why did it seem so important now that she find conversation 
with her lover?  Wasn't their lovemaking enough?  Why did she feel the lack 
of something she had never had?  How did she know it was *this* that was 
lacking?  Perhaps the lovemaking was not passionate enough...

But it was fine.  Kira snorted now.  It was more than fine.  Shakaar was a 
learned lover, skills honed by years of practice.  The lovemaking was fine.  
_But it's just not *enough..._

Kira cursed and turned, as if trying to escape her thoughts, then winced and 
cursed again.  An uncomfortably familiar feeling stung her neck where her 
uniform had rubbed against it.  She assessed her hands.  They were slightly 
red, not badly sunburned, merely tender.  She touched the back of her hand to 
her face, realized then that sweat filmed her, stinging her flushed and 
sensitive skin.  Her uniform had protected most of her, made from a naturally 
sun-ray repellent material.  But she still felt hot and realized that she was 
overly warm.  She should cool down and then head back to the lodge, try to 
eat, try to sleep.

The thought did not appeal.  She knew she would only get there, pick at her 
food and try to shut out her stupid, useless thoughts.  She could do this on 
the station.  She should get back.  Her work would keep her busy enough to 
shut out the irritating thoughts.  Keep her busy and she could look forward 
to the next time Edon would come.  _Come to fulfill his duties by *servicing* 
me._

Was it a duty?  He was her lover, but when had she begun to think of it as a 
duty he performed, rather than looked forward to his visits.  She could not 
remember.  _This is ridiculous!  I'm just out of sorts.  I need more work and 
less thinking.  Thinking isn't something you're good at, Nerys.  Remember 
that._

She sighed, still not really wanting to start the hike back to the seaside 
lodge where she was staying, nearly four kilometres away.  She could, she 
knew, call for transport, but even the thought of contacting Transport 
Central was distasteful, for some reason.  _What the blighted moon do you 
want, Nerys?!_

Without thinking, Kira Nerys shook off her ennui and stood.  She looked out 
across the slowly darkening shore and abruptly began to strip.


        ***


Odo crested the hill, a few kilometres from the lodge where he'd learned Kira 
was staying.

The lodge-owner had looked at his uniformed appearance, studied his face for 
a few moments, then laconically indicated his guest had gone for a walk along 
the Bay, on the beach, a half-kilometre away.  Odo had as laconically thanked 
him and headed in that direction.  He didn't think about what he was doing.  

He looked at the stretch of bay shoreline, saw nothing.  It was twilight, 
dark falling rapidly.  He knew he would find her though; he could adjust his 
eyes to scan for heat images.  Or better still...

Odo looked around, noted the beauty and isolation of the place, then tucked 
this thought away as he sought and found his birthright.  A sound of liquid 
sibilance filtered through his awareness, but he was no longer humanoid, no 
longer solid.  Still he could hear it, sense it with the whole of him and not 
just the flaps of flesh humanoids called 'ears', even as they smoothed back 
and into his expanding, softly feathered head.

His arms pulled back, his shoulders became massive, then elongated to 
tendrils, golden gossamer arcs, feathery, outstretched wings.  They tested 
the wind, dark liquid eyes scanning anew, but he did not find what he sought.  
To flight then.

The Tarkalean condor cried shrilly into the sky as if testing it's voice, 
then flapped it's wings, lifting it's magnificent and powerful body from the 
hillside and soared into the cool evening air.


        ***


The water had been shockingly cold at first, but she got used to it soon 
enough, her heated skin making it seem colder than it really was.

Still, the water felt good against her skin.  As she slipped through it, it 
was as if painful thoughts and restless feelings, not just skin oils and 
sweat were being left behind.  Kira swam, not skillfully, but powerfully, 
never having learned how to kick to propel her, but her arms moving her 
forward nonetheless.  She was just at the point of buoyancy, where the sandy 
shore bottom would fall away.  She could feel it with the tips of her toes 
and held there, and released her weight onto the water, floated now, looking 
up at the darkening sky, noting the lightening of the part of the horizon 
where one of Bajor's moons would be rising.  A small sparkle of light 
indicated another of her moons.  Jeraddo was a large, bright, crescent in the 
sky almost directly above her.

Jeraddo.  Mullibok.  Kira righted herself, almost swallowed a mouthful of 
water, definitely got some in her nose and began to snort, to cough.  She 
might have flailed, but managed to propel herself to where she could stand 
again in the water.  She cursed herself soundly now, still coughing.

_What the triple hells is wrong with you?  Can't even enjoy a swim!  Too 
damned much thinking.  Mullibok is fine!  He's fine!_

But the old, vanquished man hadn't spoken since being uprooted from his home.  
He refused to.  Baltrim and Keena, his longtime neighbors and cherished 
friends had chosen death instead of accepting their plot of land, killing 
themselves as soon as they touched foot on Bajor.

She'd thanked the Prophets Mullibok had not.  He'd been presented with their 
extra plot of land, though, as if it was a bonus.  She had told the council 
about Mullibok.  He'd been a farmer before the Occupation and during it, for 
forty years on Jeraddo.  The minister's council apparently felt that was all 
that mattered to him.

The only thing Mullilbok had planted on Bajor was the bodies of his 
compatriots.  He had even silently refused her presence at the funeral 
ceremony.  Turning his back emphatically when she came, ripping at her heart, 
at the scab on her soul she'd been picking at for nearly a week now over many 
things past.

_But he's ALIVE!  Isn't that enough for you?  He's alive..._  But he was dead 
inside, the spirit flown...a living corpse of ashen white, just waiting to 
join his spirit.

Kira sobbed now, unaware she was crying and coughing.  

She'd done the best she could!  Anyone could see that!  It was what Odo had 
told her when she'd talked to him about that mission.

"You did what you thought best," he'd said.

She could hear his soft voice, remember the look of concern in his clear, 
blue eyes now.  Kira wished abruptly, that he was here.  Odo, she could 
*talk* to.

_But he wouldn't want to talk to you, would he?  He tried to talk to you 
about Tekeny.  Hell, he tried to listen, but..._  She closed her eyes, 
remembered her waspish reaction, his firm, but almost patient rebuttal.  
_He's such a good friend._  He took and he gave.  She wished he was here.  
What would he say to her now?

_Probably 'You did what you thought was best.'  But it wasn't good enough, 
Odo.  It wasn't good enough.  *I* wasn't good enough.  I couldn't save 
Mullibok without taking his spirit.  I couldn't save Tekeny, or find his 
daughter, he still died...without her.  I couldn't even face my father...dear 
Prophets.  Forgive me.  Prophets and father, forgive me.  Why did you die 
before I could find the strength to be with you?  Why did you die 
before...before I could ask you to forgive me...?  Why in all the hells there 
are DID YOU HAVE TO DIE?!_  

A sudden sob broke free into the still night air.  Kira pounded her fists 
into the water, sending up a spray that made her blink, then kept doing it, 
flailing now and crying and coughing as water found it's way into her nose 
and mouth.

"Damn it!!  Damn it!  DAMN IT!  DAMN IT!!!  WHY?!  WHY!????"  Sobs broke 
through her declaration and she choked on more salt water.  She scarcely 
cared.  Good!  Let her drown.  At least she was home.  She might be a coward, 
and a killer, and a thief, but she was *home*.  Grief poured over and around 
her and her flailing continued, grateful that her tears were disguised by the 
spray of salt water.

She was completely oblivious to the slight splash behind her, completely 
unaware of the forming presence until a pair of strong arms took her by the 
upper arms.

"Kira!"

She snorted to a wet and startled conclusion, almost swinging at the face in 
front of her before it registered on her stunned senses.  Familiar blue eyes, 
a deep, dark violet in the dimness, were studying her intently.

Kira found her voice, which trembled as she questioned, "Odo?"

This seemed to reassure him, and he blinked, calmed, although he still held 
her by the upper arms, seemingly unaware of the water now dripping from his 
hair.

"Nerys?"  His tone, full of concern, full of uncertainty, tore at her.

She began to cry, and as his face reflected alarm, thrust herself against 
him, holding him tightly as the previously abated sobs wrenched their way 
through her again.

"Nerys?"

His arms held her a bit closer now as he seemed to realize she was not 
injured physically, or at least not seriously, if she was.  He relaxed 
slightly, tucked his head protectively and spoke against the tendrils of her 
dark, damp hair.

"Nerys?  Are you all right?  I was looking for you..."

Her voice was a small wail, punctuated with sobs, her body shaking with both 
gratitude and her emotional agitation.  "Why?"

"I came to see how you were.  I thought you might be needing a...friend."

"Sweet Prophets...I can't believe you're here," she managed to choke out.

Odo nodded at this, about to pat her back as he suddenly, reflexively, 
realized that Kira was not wearing anything.  They stood in water just up to 
her shoulders, *bare* shoulders.

His hand trembled between her shoulder blade, then he gently rubbed her back, 
uncertain if he should, but feeling the need to do something.  He crept his 
other hand, which was just above a bare buttock, slightly higher.

Her arms tightened and she rubbed her face against his chest, still quietly 
sobbing, a bout of grateful, cleansing tears against his welcome warmth.  
Apparently, she either didn't recall she was nude, he thought, or else she 
didn't care.  Another sob shook them both, and he decided she didn't care at 
the moment.  What had caused this spate of tears?  Kira Nerys was not a woman 
who cried easily.

"Kira?  What is it?  Can you tell me what's wrong?"

"Why are you here?" she whispered tightly.  "I mean how did you know?"

Odo frowned.  Was she in full command of her faculties?  He considered his 
response, but before he could say anything, Kira pulled back and looked up at 
him.

The light of Jeraddo fell on her face, permitting him to see the lines of 
worry, her eyes swollen by tears and the darker circles of sleeplessness, of 
strain. It spoke of a week of worry and pain.  She was pale and radiant.  She 
was also incredibly beautiful in his eyes.  His lips scarcely moved as he 
spoke without even thinking.

"Because you needed me."

Another slight sound escaped her, a sob, a gasp, he didn't have time to 
assess it as she reached up, felt her strong fingers pull him to her and wrap 
around him again.  Her embrace would have been painful and bruising if he'd 
been humanoid.  His answer, it would seem, was the one she'd needed to hear.

"You're always here when I need you..."

Soft words spoken past a tight throat, they made him close his eyes and hold 
her a bit more snugly against him, feeling the familiar sensation of wanting 
to completely enfold her within himself and protect her from all harm.  
Following close on this, however, was an even more familiar feeling.  One he 
had been experiencing with more urgency since he'd been humanoid...since he'd 
finally shared physical intimacies with someone...with Arissa.

Odo drew in a breath now, a reaction born of decades of a continual practice 
that no longer required conscious thought, much as many of his outwardly 
human-seeming expressions.  He pulled himself slightly back from Kira and 
tried to make his voice as level and calm as possible.  He didn't dare reveal 
in anyway what her presence, her closeness, was doing to him.  His voice, as 
a consequence, was a touch gruffer than he intended.

"Kira...we should get you out of here.  It's chilly and you're...wet.  You 
could become ill if we stay here."

She nodded against him, then sniffed.  She pulled back, then suddenly seemed 
to come to her senses.  _I shouldn't have done that!_  She looked toward the 
shoreline, but it was merely a dark gray blur with liquid black lapping 
against it in the moonlight.

"My clothes..." She didn't seem embarrassed, to his relief, however, he was 
also not sure what to do.

"I could fetch them..."

"No!  I mean...they'll just get wet." Kira cursed herself as a dark and 
furious blush filled her cheeks.  It was silly, she told herself.  Odo 
couldn't see any better than she could in the dark.  And even if he could, he 
hadn't made any comment about her nudity.  Hell, he probably was as 
uncomfortable as she was!  "Well, maybe it doesn't matter."

He seemed to hesitate for a moment, then asked quietly, "What room are you 
staying in at the lodge?"

"Fourteen-B."

He tapped his commbadge.  "Transporter Central. This is Odo, chief of 
security of Deep Space Nine."

"Acknowledged, chief."

"Please mark my position, and transport the woman next to me directly to Room 
Fourteen-B of the Redland Beach Lodge.  It's a...matter of security.  I would 
appreciate your discreteness."

"Of course, chief.  One moment, please.  Scanning...I have a transporter 
lock.  Getting coordinates for the lodge.  One more moment.  Ah...ready for 
site-to-site transport, sir."

Odo focused on Kira's pale, drawn face and smiled gently.  "Energize."

Iridescent patterns glowed on the water as she was spirited away from him, 
leaving him wet...and alone.


        ***


"Through this world I've stumbled
So many times betrayed
Trying to find an honest word
To find the truth enslaved"


It was breakfast time at the lodge when Odo arrived.  Kira was nearly done 
packing, having decided upon waking after a restless night, to give up her 
pointless ruminations and return to the station.

She was still chastising herself.  Here poor Odo had come all the way to 
Bajor to check up on her!  Worse, he'd found her crying like an insane idiot 
in the middle of the sea.  Probably Captain Sisko had been concerned and sent 
him, checking on his errant liaison officer.  Either way, it was a definite 
signal that she needed to collect her wits and get back to the work that 
steadied her and gave her focus.  She could use a little focus.  She was in 
the bathroom collecting her few toiletries when the knock sounded at her 
door.

"Come in."

Her cheeks flushed a little as Odo inclined his head and stepped just enough 
into her room to allow the door to slip shut behind him.

"Good morning, Major."

"Good morning, Odo."  She decided to finish packing.  It would hide her blush 
and keep her focused.  "I'm...getting ready to head back to the station.  
Maybe we could take the same shuttle."

"Are you sure that's wise?"

Kira looked to her friend and noticed the expression in his blue eyes.  
Normally, somewhat reserved, his eyes held more than a touch of concern.  She 
sighed.

"Look," she began, then stopped.  What *did* she want to say?  She sighed.  
"I'm sorry about last night, Odo."

He inclined his head again, a kindly gesture. "Don't be.  I think I can 
understand how...difficult everything has been lately."

Kira snorted at this, not unkindly.  "Yes, well...I had been thinking." She 
smiled at him now.  "You know how dangerous *that* can be!"

He didn't smile, although Nerys had not expected him to.  "You were 
castigating yourself over something that happened long ago."

She found awkwardness suddenly forgotten as shame and heat filled her with 
sudden resentment.  How did he do that?  How did he know her so well?  She 
turned from him to look into her bag as if checking the contents.  "You don't 
know what you're talking about."

"I know *you*, Kira Nerys."

To her surprise, she discovered she resented *this* even more.  She turned to 
face her accuser directly.  That blue gaze remained level.  She did not see 
him flinch or wince, although, for some reason, she was expecting him to due 
to the intensity of her gaze.

"Do you think you can read one book about relationships and suddenly you know 
humanoid women?  Know me?"

Surprisingly, even this did not make him flinch.  He merely stood a bit 
straighter and considered her.  For some reason, this disturbed her.  She'd 
been expecting him to wince or react.  Why did she want to see that, to see 
her words cut him?  Why did she want to see him cringe from her?

_Because he would have before.._  (Before what?)  _Before...*her*._

Re-armed with fresher fuel, her nostrils flared now and her voice grew flat, 
not hiding her resentment.  "Or is it that woman that left you that makes you 
think you suddenly know all about what could motivate other women...like me?"

Now she got part of the reaction she'd been trying to elicit.  He blinked, 
looked away for a moment.  Then he did something he'd never done before.  To 
Kira's alarm, Odo took a step closer and a peculiar look came over his face.  
It was an indefinable expression, neither hurt nor resentment nor anger, but 
somehow it conveyed to her his disappointment.

"One thing we've never done deliberately, Kira, is to try and hurt the other.  
I'd ask that you keep a measure of civility in our relationship.  I happen to 
value our...relationship...very much." It was only the slightest catch of his 
words as he finished his statement, but it drove home to her what it cost him 
to say what he had.  His tone had not been castigating, but it shamed her 
nonetheless.

Her gaze dropped.  She bit her lip, closed her eyes...sighed.  "I'm sorry.  
I'm getting good at saying that lately.  I'm sorry."  She opened her eyes, 
found that unwavering blue gaze watching her and repeated it, softly.  "I'm 
sorry, constable."

"It's forgotten."

She smiled at this, a faint smile, but his own expression lightened 
perceptibly and she turned back to her packing.  Once she had, Odo swallowed 
visibly, a reaction born of tension.  He'd nearly found himself telling 
her...

_Telling her what?  Telling her you love her?  Or telling her that Arissa, 
'that woman' was a substitute for the person you really love?  Have always 
loved?  *Still* love?_

"In that case, you think you'd care to share the evening shuttle back to the 
station?" Kira turned back as Odo frowned.

"Evening shuttle?  There are two shuttles leaving before then."

She smiled at him, the gentle smile he recognized as her believing there was 
some humanoid custom he would not understand.  _Why should she expect me to?  
I was only humanoid for a few months._

"I'm going to eat some breakfast, then I've got...business, in the capital."

The capital.  Where the First Minister resided; Shakaar, her lover.  

Odo nodded perfunctorily, the words slipping from his lips without thought.  
"I've got business on the station that needs tending.  I'll take the next 
shuttle."

"Then I'll see you on the station, constable."

"Very well, Major." He inclined his head again and turned to the door.

"Odo?"  He paused.  She drew in a breath.  "I...uh...have a good 
flight...Odo."

He turned briefly, nodded.  "Do the same...Kira."

He left.  The door closed behind him and he schooled his expression to the 
stern and forbidding one he reserved for patrolling.  It was useful, he had 
learned, to keep people from disturbing him.

He didn't want anyone disturbing him until he reached DS9.  His discussion 
with Kira had told him all he needed to know.  She was going to Shakaar.  She 
did not see him as anything more than what he was -- chief of security...her 
friend.

He would have to learn to live with that.  It would have to become *enough*.


        ***


Kira turned away from the door and shut off her small sting of 
disappointment.  She had been hoping Odo would want to take the shuttle with 
her.  She'd wanted to tell him, but at the last minute changed her mind; he 
said he had work to do.

Kira Nerys intended on going to the capital to meet Shakaar Edon...and to 
suggest they seek the Prophet's Path.  To go to one of the shrines and find 
out if they were not just compatible as lovers, but as mates.  It was a mere 
formality for most Bajorans, lovers as long as they had been.  Typically a 
blessing would be given, bestowed by the Prophets based on prophecy and 
meditation.  The ceremony meant to be shared by friends.  Odo was such a 
friend to her.

The Kendis shrine was in capital city.  It was quite beautiful.  She had also 
been thinking of suggesting that Odo tour it while they were there.  There 
were many fascinating engravings from before the Occupation.  There were 
tapestries and sculptures for visitors to admire.  She knew he enjoyed such 
things.

Maybe next time...



        ----------------------------------
2B cont'd


RIPTIDE - [NC17] O/K 
by Judith / OdoGoddess@aol.com

        ----------------------------------

Comments, questions and rave (or rabid) reviews may be sent to:  
OdoGoddess@aol.com

DISCLAIMER:  This non-profit material was produced out of love for Star Trek: 
Deep Space Nine and is not intended to infringe upon the Star Trek copyrights 
of Viacom, Paramount Pictures Corporation, nor those of any other legal 
holders of Star Trek copyrights, in this or any other universe...

        ----------------------------------
[ALL lyrics are from the incredible song 'Possession' which belongs to and 
was written (c) by the phenomenal Sarah MacLachlan]
        ----------------------------------

RIPTIDE, part two
by Judith / OdoGoddess@aol.com


        "Oh, you speak to me in riddles
        and you speak to me in rhymes
        My body aches to breathe your breath
        Your words keep me alive
        

A week later...and two hundred years in the past.


The activity was different to him.  He sensed it like light and shadow, but 
it was still difficult for him to focus his thoughts in the direction he 
needed to in order to gain shape, to get past the maddening vibratory 
sensation that had filled his days and nights ever since he'd been removed 
from stasis and left on a relatively flat and undisturbed surface.

He focused nonetheless, because one overriding concern filled his days and 
nights.  Kira, a soothing presence for awhile in his timeless reverie, was no 
longer here; whereever 'here' was.  He could make out with no small amount of 
concentration that she was no longer in this place of crazy-quilt angles he 
had come to decide was part of the ship.  A part, obviously damaged in some 
way.  He could do nothing about it though, since he could barely focus enough 
to manage a crude tendril with attached eye and ear and mouth.  The vibration 
drove him nearly insane.  There was something that seemed to reverberate 
through him, keeping him from forming, from even thinking clearly.  Obviously 
he couldn't expect the ship to leave this place, so he would have to combat 
the effects, marshal his strength and leave his prison on his own.

It had ever been thus for him.

He needed answers.  He would not find them here anyway, liquid but not 
insensate.  The vibrations lapped at him, sifted through him, created 
distress as he tried to form despite them.  He managed a small and 
disproportionate head...shoulders...

"It should be soon."

"*How* soon?"

"A day...perhaps.  Hours certainly."

"Does she...?"

"She wants no vigil.  She's resting and told me she...she just wants to sleep 
and not wake up."

"I'll issue the orders."

"But what--" the voice broke off as he collapsed back in on himself.

Who was speaking?  What were they talking about?  Would they be leaving this 
horrid and dissonant place soon?  Was his effort for nothing?  Why had they 
not left sooner then?  His time sense was off, but he'd counted at least 
thirteen sleep periods.  Of this he was quite clear, although they were not 
as frequent or necessary as regeneration, which his body had already done 
long ago.

He trembled with effort and subsided.  He needed to get out of his container.  
He needed to find out what was going on and if they were stuck, he needed to 
help.

He concentrated, but that didn't help.  Perhaps if he did something else?  He 
sifted through his memory, trying to ignore that stinging, aggravating 
vibration that made him feel as if his thoughts were a thousand particles of 
dust floating through the air.

Hadn't Mora done something similar once?  He'd been centrifuged many times, 
removing substances which had been added to him, but...wait.  Mora had done 
it and instructed him to communicate, conducted tests on him using lights and 
sounds, activated while he was being whipped about like so much batter.  He'd 
even done that once when he *was* being churned in his liquid state.  It had 
been extremely discomfiting, but he'd managed to respond, to communicate.  
What had he done?

_I focused on something besides the interference._

He considered this, remembered it would have to be something constant.  He 
scanned briefly and decided on one twinkling light.  He focused on it.  It 
wasn't clear, but he knew where it was, about how far from him in relation to 
the container where he was resting.

_Enough rest.  Get up and see the light._

He concentrated on every aspect of that light, it's brightness, it's 
position, it's color, even as he instructed the rest of him to relax and 
ignore everything but the light.  His liquid form fought him, but obeyed, 
demanding he simply rest and thereby not battle the aggravating vibrations.

_Keep the light in place.  Move to it._

He extended himself toward the light.  It worked.  Not completely, as he 
could feel tingling along the entire surface of his tendril.  What stopped 
vibrations?  He focused on the light, kept moving, paused.  He kept his 
blurry vision focused on the light, as he allowed his tendril to drop.  
Vibrations ceased when they were grounded.  Perhaps he could ground himself?  
He fell to the floor, still staring at the light.  The vibration eased *a 
little*.  Very little.  Better than nothing.

_Move to it.  Keep moving._

He stretched more of himself along until he felt the last of his bulk leave 
the container.  He hoped no one was around, but could not allow his 
sensibilities to guide him.  If someone was, they'd see a snake-like liquid 
entity stretched along the floor.  _That could be disturbing..._

He wiggled a little, experimentally, winced internally at the overpowering 
vibratory sensation that instantly began reverberating, and ceased.  _Focus 
on the light.  Good.  Move.  Move. Move to it._

Then he registered the sensation.  Something was touching him...interfering 
with his progress.  What was going on?  He lost track of the light before 
him, filled with resentment.  It only lasted a moment, though, before the 
energy vibrations stirred him up again, making him lose all cohesion.

Perversely, this made him feel good.  Both in no longer having to keep the 
minimal shape he was managing, but also in that whoever had interrupted his 
exercise was even now attempting to gather him up.  He had caused them 
trouble; just like they'd done to him.  _Petty._  He tried to relax, even as 
that thought-shattering resonance continued unabated.  He felt outer portions 
of his liquid self being gently shuttled along, scooped, moved onto something 
flat and infinitely more comfortable.

He allowed it, unable to really put up any defense if they intended ill.  
They did not.  Soon he was resting once more, entirely liquid, across a much 
larger surface than the container he'd been in.  What had they placed him on?  
Was he being taken somewhere else?  He rippled with consternation, hoped 
whoever the interloper was didn't notice, or know, what the eddies on his 
surface signified.  He decided he'd trade his discomfort at them knowing if 
he could simply communicate with them.  Sounds were being made, they filtered 
through him, but he could not consolidate them into making sense.

Motion ceased.  He felt the slight contact of the container he was in, as it 
touched down on a flat surface, probably a table.  After a moment, an oddly 
familiar sensation rippled through him.  Some sort of warmth, a scanner or 
probe was being run over him.  He considered this with no small amount of 
trepidation.

Could it be the crew?  Or was he now in the hands of others who knew nothing 
about him, except that he was an interesting specimen.  He sifted back and 
forth along himself in perturbation.

Then the vibrations ceased.  Abruptly.  So strong and shocking he flattened 
himself convulsively against the container, then hesitantly began to take 
shape in his normal fashion.

He found himself atop a console in a small room aboard the Defiant.  The room 
was...tilted.  He frowned.

"Odo?"

He turned, found Jadzia Dax studying him carefully.  Her uniform was slightly 
torn, and she looked a bit...dirty.  And ineffably sad.  Bashir was running a 
scanner over him.  He was in short sleeves, not dirty, but he did appear 
weary and grave.

"Commander, doctor...what's happening?"

"We crashed, constable.  The planet has some sort of quantum energy field, 
that's what's been affecting you, but we've been much too busy to focus much 
time on you.  My apologies, but Jadzia had already determined you would be 
able to acclimate to the energy field eventually and take shape so we'd set 
aside our concerns in your regard until we had more time to deal with them."

"I understand my condition is not a priority in such circumstances, doctor."

Jadzia sighed.  "We salvaged what we could and ship's reserves are almost 
nil, so I asked Benjamin if I could try this, at least to let you know...know 
what's happening."

"What is it?  What are you trying?"

"We've grounded you against the energy, by placing you in a field of counter-
charged particles.  But we can't do it forever.  The Defiant is running out 
of power.  We haven't set up any generators, O'Brien is still cannibalizing 
parts to get one running.  We might be able to use water power in the future.  
For now--"

"I understand.  I'm sure I can wait in a container in my liquid state until a 
rescue shuttle arrives."  Dax winced.  "What is it?"

Bashir took over for a moment.  "There won't be a rescue shuttle.  
Defiant...encountered a temporal anomaly when we tried to break orbit, Odo.  
We've crashed...about two centuries from the time we knew."

He considered this gravely, then nodded.  "The others?  Is everyone--"

Jadzia spoke.  "Odo...the reason I got Benjamin to agree to using some of our 
rationed energy and trying this is...I knew you might want to say 'good-
bye'."

An irrational fear clawed at him.  "Good-bye?"

A sudden flood of tears slipped down Jadzia's face, but she managed to reply, 
"Kira.  She's...she's dying."

"Kira?" He felt his internal liquid roil, causing him to shudder outwardly.  
Bashir nodded as Dax wiped at her face,  He continued with the explications, 
taking refuge in technicalities.

"We can't ground you forever, constable.  But...we might be able to introduce 
some of the quantum energy particles into your cellular structure.  If they 
have  an opposing charge, it might help keep you stable while you get 
acclimated.  I think in time your structure will accept the resonance and 
you'll be able to resume your normal shape and functions."

Was he really talking about himself when Kira lay dying?  Odo felt as if this 
was some odd dream.  He finally admitted, "It's very difficult.  I 
can't...concentrate...it's hard to think past the interference of the energy 
field." Yes, that *was* his voice.  It sounded strange to him.

"The particles should help a little.  A full irradiation treatment of them 
would be best, but we only have partial power.  So I got a hypo ready before 
I even brought you here."

"I understand.  I agree I should be able to find a way to fight the 
interference.  The sensation is not unlike fighting to stay within an energy 
field, instead of heading for the free zone in the center that Mora wanted me 
to get into.  Like a good little lab rat."

"Odo?"

"Nothing."  He looked at both of them, then, incongruously, smiled.  "I just 
realized...Mora hasn't been born yet."

Jadzia didn't smile.  Her expression grew graver still.

"None of us has, Odo."

Bashir swallowed, spoke quietly now.  "Odo...I thought Kira would die days 
ago.  I...I think she's been waiting, though.  I wouldn't deign to guess, but 
Dax thought...since everyone else has paid their respects...that perhaps she 
was waiting for you, constable."

"Give me the hypo."  His voice was harsher than intended.  He needed to leave 
this room.

"I have to lower the shield."

He nodded and Dax pressed the console before her.  Immediately, a vibratory 
cacophony of sensation assaulted him.  He almost lost cohesion where he sat, 
instead, he fought it with every ounce of strength, just as he had when 
entering the field.  He'd fought it all the way to sickbay where Bashir had 
finally suggested he simply resume liquid form until they left the planet.  
But there was no leaving now.  They were stuck.  He was stuck.

This thought helped him focus as Bashir pressed a hypo against his somewhat 
spongy arm.  A substance sifted through him, the vibrations actually speeding 
it along and soon, he felt a bit better.  He was able to almost ignore the 
vibration, although it still disturbed his thought processes, his functions.

"Take me to her."


        ***


Her smile was sincere, if marred by the wince of pain she made.  Bashir had 
softly informed him that her neural system was suffering a complete collapse.  
Messages weren't being sent correctly or at all...to muscles, to organs, 
soon, too soon, her heart would not get the message it needed to keep 
beating.  If she was on the station, she could have received a heart 
transplant.  If she was on the station, Bashir could have treated her with 
the latest of equipment and medical techniques.  But they were not on the 
station.

They were stranded on a planet.  They were two hundred years in the past.  
They were sixty-thousand lightyears from Bajor.  Kira was dying.

The onslaught of the energy field seemed to throb through him with every 
movement, but instead of irritation, now it filled him with a fury.  It 
helped.  It gave him focus.  He shut off his own concerns and assessed her, 
the woman he loved with all he was.  Bashir bustled quietly behind him with 
equipment.  He ignored him completely.

It made him ache to see how hard she fought...to breathe...to live.  Death 
would not come easily to this ex-soldier, he could see.  He wished he could 
help her somehow.  If his life would save hers, he would give it.  But he was 
powerless over this.  He had no idea if his face was composed.  He didn't 
care.  Kira was dying...

His voice was thick and strange-sounding, even to him.  "Kira..."

She didn't seem to notice.  Her smile was undiminished.  She seemed 
incredibly peaceful, despite the effort it took for her breathe.

"Wonder...wond..when...see you."

"I'm so sorry."

"Prophets...answer."

What did she mean?  That the Prophets called to her?  That she felt she had 
to answer?

"I'm not sure I believe in the Prophets," he whispered sadly.

"...do..."

"I know you do."

"No."

He frowned.  What was she trying to tell him?  "I'm sorry, Kira. I don't know 
what you're trying to tell me."  She seemed not to care.  Her eyes fluttered 
shut for a moment.

Julian went to her other side, spoke softly.  "Major...I wanted you to 
know...I talked to the Captain.  We'll abide by your wishes."

Her eyes fluttered back open.  "...sorry...trouble..."

"It was no trouble.  You are no trouble at all, my dear.  Well...since you 
seem to have a visitor, I'll go make myself useful at the settlement."

"...walk...walk...Ju-Ju...lian."

He frowned, but Odo merely murmured, "I think she's telling you to walk with 
the prophets, doctor."

"Oh."  Bashir swallowed.  After a moment he softly responded, "You do the 
same, Kira."  He moved closer to Odo and murmured, "Not very long, constable, 
she needs rest.  Her heart monitor is tied to my commbadge, but please call 
me if you need anything or...anything."

Odo nodded.  Bashir left.  He could feel the aggravating vibration through 
every molecule of his body, but his eyes never left Kira's face.  He did not 
know how much time passed.  It seemed like an eternity.  Kira finally spoke.

"I...I..." before she got further, her eyes rolled back and she gasped for 
breath.  It seemed like it wouldn't go in.

Remembering some of the first aid Bashir had insisted all the Bajoran 
security force undertake, he gently tilted her head back.  It was supposed to 
ease breathing, clear the passage.  He was prepared to call Bashir, but his 
actions seemed to work.  Soon Kira caught her breath.  He kept his fingers 
against her forehead.  He stroked it gently.  He didn't care what she might 
think of this peculiar behavior. He didn't care if anyone saw him.  Kira was 
dying.

His voice trembled as he spoke.  "Just rest.  Just rest, Nerys."

"...soon." she graced him with that beautiful smile and he could no longer 
hold back.  His face crumpled.  For some reason, this made her smile 
brighter.  "...cry-ing.  ...you....nev-er..."

"It's...not something I do very often," he admitted softly.

"...miss...miss..."

"I've missed you, too, Kira."

"Odo..." he waited, but she said nothing further, merely trying to breathe.

He continued stroking Kira's forehead, his eyes were locked on hers.  The 
feel of Kira's soft skin beneath his fingertips kept him focused.  She 
finally murmured, "...you...be...work..."

"It seems you and I are on the sick list," he whispered.  "The energy field 
of this world is very disturbing to me.  I don't know how long...how long I 
can maintain my shape.  The doctor and Jadzia were able to help me, but it 
might not last."

"...find...way.."

"I'm sure I will.  But for now...I'm staying here."

"Al...always...here...need...you..."

Odo was stricken, recalling her words to him from a few weeks ago, in Bajor's 
Redland sea -- when he'd come upon her crying, naked in the water.  He 
swallowed now and gently brushed the back of his hand against her temple.  "I 
remember, Nerys."

"...alone...then...then...you..." to his surprise, one of her hands jerked 
up.  He took it in his.  "Don't...Odo."

Did she not want him to hold her hands?  "Am I hurting you?"

Her voice faded to a mere whisper.  "...no."

He put her hand down gently anyway and leaned closer.  "I don't know what 
you're trying to tell me, Nerys."

She sighed.  Her smile dimmed only slightly.  He swallowed.  He had never 
seen such peace amidst so much pain and effort.  She moved her lips now, but 
he couldn't hear her.  He moved closer still.

"...don't...alone...Odo."  A disturbing sibilance was in her words.  He 
nodded, though, as if he understood.  He wanted her to rest.  He moved back.

"All right, Nerys.  I won't."  

This had the desired effect.  Her smile was radiant now.  No, he realized, 
the radiance was in her skin.  She seemed to glow from beneath, her skin 
almost translucent from it's paleness.  She was incredibly beautiful.  He 
swallowed, found the strength to say the words.  He needed to say them.  If 
he didn't say them now, he would never have the chance again.

"Nerys...I need to tell you something."  He reached up a hand to stroke her 
face, his own face only a foot from hers.  He began to say the words as he'd 
rehearsed them in his mind.  "You...you mean a great deal to me.  I--I've 
always treasured our friendship..."

At this, the smile on her lips reached her eyes.  It was incredibly sweet and 
transcendent.  It stole his thoughts from him.  Then Kira's head fell back.  
A long wavering sigh escaped her and her hand fell limply from his.  All 
struggle for breath, for words...was over.

Odo stared at her wildly.  "Nerys?"

He moved closer, studied her face.  Her skin no longer glowed.  It was taking 
on a waxiness.  She was gone.  This did not wish to register for some reason.  
He touched her face, stroked her lips.  

"Nerys??"

A sound of hurried steps did not make him turn.  He took her hand again and 
rubbed those fingers.  They did not respond.

"Odo..."

He did not look up at this, merely shook his head and pressed his fingers 
harder into hers.  "Nerys?"

"Odo..." Bashir's voice sounded tight, strangled.  He moved to Kira's other 
side and touched a finger gently to her neck.  He sighed.  His voice was flat 
with repression.  "Odo, she's gone."

"No..."  It was not a denial of the truth.  He refused, however, to believe 
that fate could cheat him of his opportunity to tell her how he felt.  How 
could he be trapped here, without her?  How would he rise from regenerating 
knowing he would not see her face, hear her voice, see her smile at him?  
He'd been elated not so long ago, before they arrived to this accursed place, 
because Kira had finally admitted that she was no longer with Shakaar.  He'd 
been reeling from that knowledge; she was free...and so there was a chance.  
Now, there was nothing.

Bashir sighed.  "It's true.  I'm so sorry."

Odo shuddered, not from emotion, but the resonance from the planet was 
beating down his resistance, defeating him.  He let it.

"Odo?"

He made no sound as he allowed the planet's energy field consume him, 
*subsume* him.  It made him revert into a golden pool of trembling fluid.  He 
did not fight it, allowing the vibrations to shake all thought from his mind.  
Hoping it would shake free the feelings that were sifting through him, 
filling him...until they were all he knew...all he felt.  Hoping it would 
help him to forget.

That never happened.


        ----------------------------------
2B cont'd


RIPTIDE - [NC17] O/K 
by Judith / OdoGoddess@aol.com

        ----------------------------------

Comments, questions and rave (or rabid) reviews may be sent to:  
OdoGoddess@aol.com

DISCLAIMER:  This non-profit material was produced out of love for Star Trek: 
Deep Space Nine and is not intended to infringe upon the Star Trek copyrights 
of Viacom, Paramount Pictures Corporation, nor those of any other legal 
holders of Star Trek copyrights, in this or any other universe...

[ALL lyrics are from the incredible song 'Possession' which belongs to and 
was written (c) by the phenomenal Sarah MacLachlan]
        ----------------------------------

RIPTIDE, part three
by Judith / OdoGoddess@aol.com


A few days after "Children of Time"...


        "Into this night I wander
        it's morning that I dread
        another day of knowing of
        the path I fear to tread"


Odo reformed, still a bit disoriented by the ease of this simple act after 
the fruitless efforts he'd expended on Gaia merely to keep formed.

He was also still reeling from the awareness that Kira knew how he 
felt...knew that he loved her.  Not to mention a bit overwhelmed by the 
growing conviction that Kira would forgive him, or rather, his older self -- 
the counterpart that had sacrificed the lives of eight thousand in order for 
her to live.

There was nothing hidden between them now.  He had told her what his 
counterpart had done.  He had hidden nothing, much as his older self had also 
hidden nothing in their brief incorporation.  All he had said to her, all he 
had done, had filtered through their link, through the interference that had 
inexplicably and abruptly ceased when the new presence made itself 
known...his own older self, passing on everything he knew, everything he'd 
learned, what he had hoped and dreamed and felt.  So peculiar to discover 
such a perspective was still ahead for him.  His species was a long-lived 
one, blessed and cursed with a lifespan of millenia.

Odo had recognized his orderly thought processes instantly, if he didn't 
understand how this possibility could occur.  So many images, feelings, 
memories...and then...

A ripple of fear, of fury, of frustration, of dismay and finally, of kinship, 
had greeted the knowledge that his older self had chosen to break his long-
held bonds of silence, of suffering, and lanced the old wound in one decisive 
stroke.

Despite two days in which to gather his thoughts, Odo still found it 
difficult to believe that resentment had not been festering, that he had not 
been befouled by his older self's actions.  What he saw now, graced by new 
memories from their link, was what his other self had seen -- Kira looking at 
him with wonder, with a touchingly shy curiousity, with a new awareness of 
him.  Kira holding his hand, walking with him.  How many nights to then had 
he dreamed of that simple act?  And Kira leaning to kiss him, and those lips 
were not reluctant or stinting, but their passion had been painfully, if 
necessarily, truncated.

Fresh from this pain, from parting with her for the last time, from setting 
about his handiwork so that the pain would not be redoubled and consume him, 
his unlikely visitor had come to him...and then left.  The knowledge he'd 
brought, remained, however, and Odo still turned it over in his mind, as was 
his wont.  He couldn't disbelieve himself, after all; but events had 
conspired to leave him somewhat dazed...habitual doubt replacing hard-won 
confidence, fear replacing potentiality.

Their first breakfast after his revelation to Kira had been a bit awkward, 
and both had been grateful for the oblivious Captain and chief who had joined 
them, and then chatted ceaselessly about the colony, about the implications 
of it all.  Kira and Odo had been as quiet as their crewmates had been 
talkative, also over the implications of it all, their thoughts as distant as 
the planet they'd left behind.

One thought to which Odo clung was that Kira had not avoided him.  Her eyes 
made contact, and more, she seemed to be studying him.  Looking for 
differences?  Comparing him to his older self?  Doubtful of his feelings, 
despite his affirmation?

He realized, almost with amusement, that he was also studying *her*.  No 
longer fearful of giving himself away, no longer concerned about an 
inadvertent expression or word, Odo was more relaxed than Kira had ever seen 
him.  No longer ignorant of his feelings, no longer blind to the meaning 
behind the singular and courtly attention that used to leave her occasionally 
puzzled, but grateful for his friendship, Kira was more comfortable than Odo 
had been expecting.  In that cautious, if congenial meal, the roots of a new 
understanding sprang.

Neither was surprised to meet for lunch, a strangely quiet, but pleasant 
affair.  The tension in their silence no longer existed.  Kira abruptly 
realized that the tension in their silences had begun...when she'd become 
involved with Shakaar.  Had it even been before that?  Why hadn't he spoken 
though, she wondered, after Bareil's death?  Before a year of disquietude and 
aloneness made her turn to the first suitor to approach, to Edon?  Those were 
questions she had no answers for.  She would have to ask sometime, Kira knew.

For now, though, she found herself aware of her friend in ways she'd never 
considered.  He was the same, but he was not.  Courtly, kind, considerate, 
gentle, humorous, respectful and dignified, there seemed to be no outward 
sign of change...except that for the first time since Kira could remember, 
Odo was *relaxed*.  Consequently, she was able to relax as well.  Once done, 
a peaceful and pleasantly expectant mood had fallen over them.

Unhurried, companionable, it was a balm to both of them; Kira with her still-
present shock over events, Odo still assimiliating events himself, and both 
with their new awareness of each other.  It was almost as if they were 
renewing their acquaintance, but without the prior pressure of unspoken 
expectation.  Each was a bit surprised to realise that there *had*, indeed, 
been expectation present in their relationship before.

An afternoon spent in contemplation of this and much more, was followed by a 
dinner which was equally quiet, Odo and Kira joined once again by the chief 
and the captain, neither had said much beyond the pleasantries, but a singing 
awareness crackled between them, a lightness, a renewal.  Kira was 
unsurprised to hear Odo firmly inform her he would meet her for breakfast.  
He was equally unsurprised to find her response was a faint nod and smile.  
They used to have a relationship requiring little talk.  This felt like a 
return to that time, but layered over with years of shared experiences...and 
now with a shared secret.

At this next breakfast, Kira had met Odo's eyes over the raktajino he brought 
her, the significance of his awareness of her preferences in food and drink 
no longer lost on her, and, to both their surprise, she asked him how he'd 
slept.

Odo could not recall her ever asking him that, and he'd lowered his habitual 
reserve and admitted to a restful regeneration for the first time in days.  
To his surprise, instead of nodding politely, or changing the subject, Kira 
considered this, then asked him what it felt like to regenerate.  Her dark 
and earnest gaze seemed a bit...shy.  It was enough to make him feel a bit 
bolder than he usually did around her.

For the next forty-minutes before the uninvited Jadzia and Julian dropped in 
and sat themselves at their mess room table, Odo quietly told Kira what it 
was like to release his shape.  He had no Bajoran concepts to help him, so 
was grateful when she interjected with a few questions.  It also helped him 
focus past the awkwardness he might have felt otherwise.

Kira was somewhat startled to realize that he had monopolized the 
conversation for so long.  After Dax and Bashir joined them, the conversation 
naturally changed course, but when she finished her raktajino, she'd 
surprised herself by touching Odo's hand and thanking him for breakfast.

"Of course, Major."

"I'll see you for lunch then."

He'd nodded, keenly affected by her affectionate gesture.  What did it mean? 
Fortunately, neither the doctor nor Dax had noticed, still caught up in their 
own conversation.  Odo had remained for a while, still dazed at the fact that 
Kira was speaking to him...and in a civil way.  Fate had rarely been so kind.  
But part of him--an older part, still present in memory--had changed fate.  
That part remembered what her hand felt like in his, remaining there 
willingly.  Would the gift his older self provided continue to work for him?

These were the ruminations on which he slept.  Fresh now from his third 
regenerative cycle since leaving the planet's orbit, Odo formed into his 
customary humanoid body and considered his situation once more.  It was 
evening, much longer than he'd intended to sleep, but he felt more than 
refreshed thanks to the extra rest, he felt almost...renewed.  The Defiant 
would be reaching the station in hours.  Kira would be getting the medical 
treatment she required.  All was well; better, in fact, than he might have 
dreamed.

His door chime sounded, shaking him from his reverie.

"Enter."

Kira stepped in.  She spoke without preamble, all business.  Odo quailed 
inwardly; she only spoke this way when she had something she wanted to say 
quickly, usually something unpleasant.  He steeled himself.

"Thanks to our mission and all that's happened, the Captain is issuing leave 
for the entire crew.  Julian wants me in the Infirmary for two days, one for 
the surgery and another to ensure the treatment worked, but for after -- I 
contacted a friend in Musila province.  It's a beautiful place and my friend 
has an incredible estate.  It's right by the Holana river.  The Holana is 
almost as wide as the seaside by Redlands and the sound of it is very 
soothing, very...restful.  You...you can see the river from every room.  
Anyway...I'm going to be staying there for awhile."

So, *this* was her decision, then; an orderly retreat.  Despite the inner 
pang of distress he felt, Odo managed a pleasant nod.  "That sounds very 
nice, Nerys."

For some reason, she reddened slightly at this, but maintained eye contact.  
Kira was suddenly far less Major and far more shy and uncertain woman.  The 
change was an interesting one, Odo decided.

"I...I was wondering if you would come with me.  I--I think it's a good place 
for us to...talk things over.  Figure out what we both want to do."

He might have stood in stunned disbelief, if a small portion of his mind 
hadn't sang forth; the echo of his counterpart?  He managed to stammer, "I-
I'd like that...Nerys."

She smiled then, a radiant smile that, for some inexplicable reason, made him 
feel a pang of fear.  He ignored this, to smile back as she said gratefully, 
"That's good then.  We can take a shuttle after Julian releases me from the 
Infirmary."

"Are you sure you'll want to leave so soon after surgery?"

"I feel fine.  Just a headache.  According to him, the procedure takes about 
six hours and will leave me a bit tired, but that should be gone within a day 
or two.  He thinks my taking a week of leave on Bajor is a good idea.  I 
promised him I wouldn't be alone."

"I'd go anyway," he quietly admitted.  "But I think that, like Bashir, I'll 
feel better knowing you aren't alone."

"I'll be fine.  You...your counterpart took a lot of trouble to make sure I'd 
get well." Her eyes suddenly shone with tears.  "I may not entirely agree 
with his reasoning, but I know I shouldn't let his effort go to waste."

"Kira..."

"Please, Odo.  I know it wasn't *you*, but I need to work it out in my mind.  
I'm not sure exactly what this all means.  Did I cheat my destiny?  Or did 
you fix something that was wrong?  On Bajor getting a second chance at life 
means so many things.  You know that.  I don't know what it means for me yet, 
but I do know one thing:  you're very important to me.  I may not have known 
how you felt, but you were always very important to me, to my life.  You 
still are.  And I want us to...to share some time, to talk, and...well, to 
learn about each other.  The way we should have before.  I mean, you're my 
best friend and I don't even know what your favorite song is.  I don't even 
know what sort of music you like."

Without hesitation, Odo replied, "Anything but Klingon opera."  They both 
laughed at this and he added quietly, "My favorite song is an old Earth 
ballad.  Chief O'Brien loaned me some music disks from old Earth and...I took 
a liking to some of the songs."

"I'd like to hear them sometime."

He inclined his head.  "I think I'd like that."

To his surprise, Kira smiled brightly.  "Me, too."  Then she stepped up, 
tilted upward a bit in order to gently kiss his cheek.  "Good night, Odo."

"Good night, Nerys," he managed to whisper.

He did not move for a very long time after she'd left his room.


        ***


Their first two days on Bajor had been less than idyllic.  With the ever-
present headache and Kira's surgery-induced fatigue finally gone, this was 
the first day she'd been able to enjoy her surroundings...and her company.

Odo had been a blessing in disguise.  The full scope of his devotion and 
caring was evident from their first day.  He'd taken one look at her somewhat 
pallid, unsteady form as they left the shuttle, where she'd napped the entire 
way, and bustled her to bed.

Once there, he'd brought her food and drink, cool compresses for her 
throbbing forehead and provided unexpectant company.  She'd drowsed or slept 
through most of his attentions, waking on the following morning to find the 
unexpected sight of a crystalline bowl on the table next to her...full of 
resting constable.

She'd spent several minutes admiring the jewel-like quality of Odo's liquid 
form which glimmered like mountain honey.  It wasn't until she was admiring 
the way the light from the window filtered through his liquid form and cast 
golden light along the wall and bedframe, that she realized she'd never 
really seen him like this -- sleeping, for all intents and purposes.

Did he dream in that state?  And why had he chosen to esconce himself beside 
her?  It did not bother her, but she wondered about it anyway.

Would he waken if she stirred him?  How did one waken a sleeping changeling?  
Would he hear her?  Could he see her?  Did he 'sleep' or was he just resting, 
ever-observant?  There seemed to be so much she did not know about him.  And 
yet, he knew everything about her -- her likes, her dislikes, her needs and 
wants and habits.  How long had he loved her?

_I love you, Nerys.  I've *always* loved you._

She sighed, remembering the words, simply spoken, but heartfelt.  Her eyes 
stung now as she remembered her response.

_What would I have done if I'd told Bareil I loved him and had always loved 
him and he laughed at me...as if I was playing some sort of game?_

Her eyes filled with tears as she remembered Odo's gentle, if direct, 
challenge.  

_Is it so hard to believe?_

Was it?  She lay comfortably in a bed on her homeworld, the peaceful sound of 
morning birds and the soft sibilance of the Holana River sifting from outside 
because of him...because of Odo.  Because he loved her.  Because he always 
had.

_Prophets.  If I was meant to die...forgive me.  If I was meant to live...if 
you brought this all about for some reason...please...let me know what that 
was.  If there is something I should be doing.  If there is some task I need 
to accomplish..._

Before their accidental incursion into the past, she and Edon had visited the 
Kendis Shrine and sought the Prophet's Path.  They'd indicated that Shakaar 
and she were not meant to walk the same path.  After the Defiant's arrival to 
Gaia, she had come to believe that her death was the reason.  A devout 
Bajoran, she accepted this as the will of the Prophets -- but now?

Had she escaped destiny and delayed what was intended?  Or had it been?  She 
had not deliberately set about to do so; it was Odo that thwarted her from 
following through with her decision.  Was he a messenger of the Prophets?  
They came in strange guises, she knew.  Benjamin Sisko had been the strangest 
and most surprising of them all.  Still in five years she had come to truly 
believe in the Prophecies, having come to know him, to work alongside him and 
become not only his first officer, but his friend.

Five years was a long time.  She had known Odo for even longer.  And she 
*still* did not know him, despite working alongside him and considering him 
her closest friend.  Nerys sat up in bed, moved closer to the bowl of resting 
constable.

_Constable.  Maybe he felt there was too much difference in our positions?  
Did he feel intimidated by my rank?  He's always maintained that military 
formality.  Why didn't I see past it to his feelings?  He was a cherished 
friend, if not my lover.  I would think he knew he could trust me._

She paused at this thought, at the various memories that came to her.  
Memories that she rarely thought over, but whose impact overwhelmed her now.

_Whose fault is that, Nerys?  Have you given him reason to believe he 
couldn't trust you?_  She remembered their very first meeting.  And more...  
_He couldn't trust me from the start.  And I betrayed that trust yet again 
when he learned I lied to him.  Small wonder he chose to never tell me what 
he felt..._

She broke off this thought and extended a hand.  It hovered above his 
quescient liquid form, then followed through with her decision.  Kira gently 
stroked a finger along his surface.

It was exquisite.  A smooth, warm and frictionless gel in which the 
depression following her fingers path slowly refilled.  Then the gel 
liquified even further, flattened.  She pulled back, watched as it gathered 
itself and poured from the container to the floor, solidifying into Odo's 
familiar humanoid form beside the bed.  He had formed with Bajoran clothing, 
however, she noted.  He eyed her with concern.

"Are you all right?  Did you need something, Kira?"

His solicitousness made her smile.  "I'm fine.   I need to talk to you, Odo.  
That is...if you don't need more rest."

He considered this, shook his head.  "Not really.  I already slept.  I was 
just...enjoying my formlessness."

Her smile grew.  "If you want the truth -- I think I was, too."

He frowned.  "I'm sorry?"

"Do you know that your liquid state is very beautiful?"  He reacted, she 
noted, as if he'd been struck.  He turned his face, looking away.  Kira 
struggled to understand.  "Does that bother you, Odo?  I mean, my looking at 
you when you're...regenerating?"

"No.  If it had, I wouldn't have been there."

"Why *were* you there?"

He looked at her again, surprised now.  "You might have needed me, needed 
assistance.  I couldn't just leave you alone."

Kira smiled. "I don't think Julian would have let me go if I was going to 
break, Odo."

"You've been so...fatigued.  I didn't want you tiring yourself.  And I didn't 
want you to have to have to call if you needed something.  Besides, you 
invited me.  I'd like to be a conscientious lodger."

"If I'd wanted you here as a 'lodger', Odo, I would have told you so."

Those clear blue eyes studied her now and he spoke without thinking.  "Then 
why am I here?"

She also spoke without thinking, referring to the impulse that had been 
growing within her since she'd accepted as truth, the older Odo's declaration 
of his feelings.  "That's what I want to find out."

She wanted, *needed* to know, itchy with the desire to learn as much as she 
could about her closest and most reticent of friends.  To find out why he 
loved her.  Her dark gaze seemed to burn him and he finally stirred, getting 
up and heading for the doorway.  

"I'll...get you some breakfast."

Kira had watched his straight back and graceful stride as he exited, found 
herself oddly disappointed.  Was it because he did not pounce on the 
opportunity for disclosure she'd provided?  Or was it because she'd been 
hoping for a return of that warmth, that tenderness, that near-palpable love 
his counterpart had bestowed on her unstintingly?

_No.  He *was* Odo.  If he felt...feels that way..._

What did she have to do, what key would unlock the door to his caution?  What 
would bring forth the man she'd felt herself starting to accept into her 
heart?  Or was that man even inside this so-familiar 'friend' of hers?


        ***


As she ate, Odo keeping her company in the room, she'd been surprised at the 
questions she found herself asking him.  She was more surprised that he 
answered.  She'd asked nothing overly personal, but uncomplicated, if long-
pondered, inquiries into his past.

Kira learned a bit more about the research center, about Odo's first year as 
an investigator for the Cardassians, how he became a Nestor in the Cardassian 
Court, about his years in the mines and the difficulty he'd had in learning 
to form clothing.  Despite his somewhat quiet demeanor, Kira had been 
anything but bored; Odo's concise and unembellished answers had led to more 
questions, again though, she kept from prying too far.  She was afraid of 
causing him to retreat, to refuse her, so her inquiries remained easy and 
mild.

Despite this, the depth and breadth of his experiences, treated even worse 
than most enslaved Bajorans she'd encountered, horrified her.  And fascinated 
her.  Was that what made him so reticent, she wondered?  She had proved her 
friendship to him, or so she thought.  Why would he still feel shy around 
her?  Why would he feel she might treat him poorly if he'd admitted his 
feelings?  Was she that fierce, that immoderate, as to make him fear her 
anger?

Kira received her answer to this that evening.


        ***


"Nerys...there's something I'd like to know."

"Go on."

"Can you tell me now why you were so upset...that time I found you in the 
water, in the night, in Redland Bay?"

Kira shook her head, not in negation, but amusement.  "I thought we agreed no 
detective work while we were here?"

Odo shook his own head, aware of her penchant to change the subject.  "It's 
not detective work, I'm not investigating anything."

"I beg to differ -- you're investigating me!"

He smiled, aware of her teasing tone.  "Well, you've been doing much the same 
thing for the last three days.  Isn't it fair for me to ask a few questions 
of my own?"

Kira looked at the river through the large bay window by the dining room 
table where they both sat and considered this.

"You're right.  But I guess...I guess I figured you already know so much 
about me." She sighed.

"If it makes you uncomfortable, forget I asked."

She looked at him then, studied his expressive gaze.  "You mean that, don't 
you?"

He blinked, taken aback.  "Of course."

"Why do you do that, Odo?  Why do you...make allowances for me?"

His voice was quiet, but firm, blue gaze softening as he spoke.  "I thought 
we'd already established how I feel about you, Nerys."

Her breath caught at this and before she knew what she was doing, her 
conflicting feelings surfaced.  "But there's a difference, Odo!  You were 
making allowances for me to the point that you let me go to another 
man...even listened to my problems about him...without once letting me know 
how you felt.  Do you know how that makes me feel?"

He looked away.  "I imagine it must be a bit surprising."

"Surprising?  Try overwhelmed.  And maybe even a bit disbelieving.  I 
mean...I just can't see how you could do that.  And it wasn't just once, but 
an ongoing thing.  It's...it's like you were deceiving me.  You *were* 
deceiving me, deliberately." Her tirade wound down as her eyes widened.  
"Prophets..."

He looked back.  "What is it?"

"Is that why?  I kept secret from you what I did...with Vaatrik.  You felt 
I'd betrayed you, betrayed our friendship.  Maybe deep down you were trying 
to punish me."

His eyes widened at this.  "Punish you?  Why should I?  That was...long ago."

"But you knew how you felt.  You told me so.  But you kept it to yourself.  
All that time.  When those damned Romulans came--I even asked you flat out 
about how you felt and you lied!"

"I didn't lie.  And you didn't ask.  You came into my office to tell me that 
*you'd* told the Romulans that their assertions that I had feelings for you 
was ridiculous."

"But you *knew*...even back then."

"Yes."

"Prophets, Odo..."

"If you think about it, Kira, I think you'll agree that perhaps, that time 
would not have been the best time to let you in on my feelings."

"When were you planning on letting me in on your feelings?" she suddenly 
demanded.

At this he fell silent.  After a moment, he murmured, "Certainly not after 
you stormed into my office to tell me how...disgusted the Romulan's 
insinuations had made you feel."

This stilled her.  The old hurt, the pain, the long-withstood anguish had 
crept into his voice and she'd heard it.  She drew a breath, sighed.  "I'm 
sorry."

"What for?  It was long ago."

"But I can tell it still bothers you.  So...I'm sorry."  He nodded.  She 
sighed again.  "Why didn't you just...tell me?  Later I mean?  From that time 
to the next year you could have...I don't know...tried to let me know."

He looked at her now, his gaze even and perfectly expressionless.  "Nerys.  
After all we've been through, when my...counterpart...*did* tell you -- you 
thought it was a joke.  I can only imagine how you might have reacted if I'd 
told you earlier."

She winced then, and looked at the table for a moment, gathering her 
thoughts.  She finally just shrugged and looked back up at him.  "I don't 
know what to say.  I'm sorry."

"Please stop apologizing.  There's no need."

"Maybe I want to," she quipped, then cut off her words.  This was not going 
at all like she intended.  _What did you intend, Nerys?_  "Look.  This isn't 
going how I thought.  I mean...maybe we shouldn't talk about things from 
before."

"Maybe.  And maybe not talking about them is what brought us here."

She smiled.  "Good point."  She considered this.  "So what do we 'not' talk 
about next?"

"The incident in Redland Bay," he said, even as Kira spoke:  "Arissa."

They both looked at each other, then Kira smiled.  "You first."

He didn't smile, merely nodded and asked firmly, "What do you want to know 
about her?"

"Why?"

He frowned.  "Why?  Why what?"

"Why were you able to...to be with her?  I mean, you still cared for me 
right?"  He nodded.  "So why could you...be with her?  And why didn't you 
ever talk to me about her?  I mean...I talked to you about Edon and Bareil."

He sighed now.  "Are you asking why I chose to start a relationship with her, 
when I still had feelings for you?"  She nodded.  "You were involved with 
another man.  You'd given me no indication of reciprocal feelings.  Arissa 
seemed to...to care for me.  I thought, perhaps I could find a...companion.  
Is it so strange?"

Kira swallowed.  "That's almost exactly what you asked me when you first told 
me..."

"That was my counterpart."

She shook her head.  "But it's still you.  It's like...there's this whole 
other Odo...one I never knew."

"You know him.  He's just a bit...shy."

She smiled at this, then nodded.  "Okay.  So you got lonely."

"If you want to look at it that way.  But since that's been the natural state 
of affairs in my life, I prefer to think that I finally...took a chance."

She shook her head again.  "You make me feel like an idiot, you know."

"How so?"

"By keeping what you felt about me under wraps, keeping me in the dark for so 
long.  Then Arissa.  You tried to tell me didn't you?  That 'bedroom eyes' 
comment you told me about.  Were you trying to sound me out?"

"If I had, it didn't exactly work, did it?  But no.  I wasn't.  I was merely 
trying to discuss it with you, as a friend."

"By telling me some woman thinks you have 'bedroom eyes'?  Is that how you 
think friends talk?"

"I wouldn't know," he responded, a slight edge in his voice now as her own 
tone grew sarcastic.  "But I *do* know that if you'd made a similar comment 
to me, I certainly wouldn't have gossiped about it."

"Gossiped?"

"The entire senior staff heard about Arissa.  'Bedroom eyes' they called her.  
Who else would they have heard it from?"

"Well, who else did you tell?" she demanded. "Because it sure as hell wasn't 
me.  I step onto Ops one day and everyone else knew about her...and you.  All 
of Ops was talking about she spent the night in your--" she cut herself off 
now as she remembered exactly who she was talking to.  It was an unsettling 
realization.

Odo's gaze, however, was even, his face expressionless.  "Go on."

"Never mind."

"I think I'd like to hear the rest of what you have to say."

"It doesn't matter."

"It has to do with me.  I think I should make that decision, Kira."

Her own dark gaze fixed on him now.  "Well, that's exactly how I feel about 
you not telling me."

"But I *did* tell you."

"But it wasn't you!  It was this...future version of you."

"He's still me, Kira.  His feelings for you are the same ones I hold."

"And how long are you going to keep them to yourself this time?  Do I have to 
wait another two hundred years to hear how you feel?"

She no longer cared what she said and she knew it.  She also hated it, but 
there was nothing she could do; her anger and confusion was getting the best 
of her.

Odo merely looked down at the table top.  When he spoke, his voice was 
quiet.  "I thought you knew how I felt.  Considering your response to my 
'feelings', though, perhaps it's best if I never do mention them again."  
He pushed his chair back to stand.

Kira stared at him, already regretting her volatile nature, but unable to 
quell her impulse.  "What are you doing?"

"I think it would be best if I found other accomodations, Major.  I 
appreciate your inviting me, but I can also see that what 
my...counterpart...told you has left you troubled.  And while I appreciate 
your friendly gesture of trying to deepen our understanding of one another, I 
*never* wanted to trouble you."  Despite the pain he felt, his clear blue 
gaze took in her tensed body and confused expression and he shook his head, 
castigating himself inwardly.  _It was no more than I expected._  "I won't 
trouble you again."

Before she could muster a cogent response, he had walked out of the dining 
room and made his way to the door.  The sound of it opening and closing was 
loud in the sudden silence of the large house.


        ----------------------------------
2B cont'd


RIPTIDE - [NC17] O/K 
by Judith / OdoGoddess@aol.com

        ----------------------------------

Comments, questions and rave (or rabid) reviews may be sent to:  
OdoGoddess@aol.com

DISCLAIMER:  This non-profit material was produced out of love for Star Trek: 
Deep Space Nine and is not intended to infringe upon the Star Trek copyrights 
of Viacom, Paramount Pictures Corporation, nor those of any other legal 
holders of Star Trek copyrights, in this or any other universe...

[ALL lyrics are from the incredible song 'Possession' which belongs to and 
was written (c) by the phenomenal Sarah MacLachlan]
        ----------------------------------

RIPTIDE, part four
by Judith / OdoGoddess@aol.com


        "O' into the sea of waking dreams
        I follow without pride
        'cause nothing stands between us here
        ...and I won't be denied."


Odo flew, following the river, taking comfort in the incredible freedom of 
flight, in his abilities.

He couldn't bear to be with Kira for one minute more.  Ironic.  He couldn't 
stand to be in the presence of the woman he loved.

She didn't understand.  But then, how could she?  She didn't care for 
him...except as a friend.  Her dark gaze kept studying him, as it had since 
the Defiant, since after the temporal incident.  It wasn't a new level of 
regard, as he'd thought at first.  It wasn't perusal of him, it was 
comparison.  She'd been looking for *him*...for his other self, his older 
self.  The Odo that was bolder, braver and more eloquent.  The Odo that 
looked more human, that spoke his mind and took her hand in his.  The Odo 
that had kissed her...

A rough sound emerged from him, sounded as a shril cry.  He made it again and 
again.  It felt good.  Different from when he was human and felt the urge to 
weep.  That did not feel good.  In flight, even the pain was 
almost...triumphant.

He swirled and dipped, following the river's path.  He knew it eventually led 
to the mountainous runoff which led to the sea.  Perhaps he could follow it 
there.  Perhaps he might take refuge in the water.  He'd done so on Gaia...or 
at least, part of him remembered this now.

How he had traveled!  The entire world was his to explore.  He'd flown, 
burrowed, ran, swam and scuttled.  He'd climbed and leaped and padded and 
crept.  He had taken refuge in every form he knew, exulted in his abilities, 
examined every last place on the lonely world.  When he was done, he had 
finally come to realize that his abilities were hollow.  Amazing and useful, 
but hollow.  He had no one to share his discoveries with.  He had no one to 
talk to.  He'd made his way back to the settlement...to the grave...to *her*.

At her grave, he'd taken his human form.  He sat.  And he'd spoken.  After 
countless years he'd almost forgotten how, but now the words came to him.  
Rough and strange at first, they'd quickly smoothed into sentences.  The 
sentences stringed into tales.  He told her everything. Where he'd been, what 
he'd seen, everything but why he'd gone.

Daylight had come and gone three times before he finally felt the need to 
rest.  He'd scooped a small depression by her grave and settled himself down.  
When he'd woken he realized that his rest period's were briefer, and his need 
for them less than it once had been.  How long had it been?  He'd no idea.  
The settlement he'd flown over seemed about three times as large as when he'd 
left, but that told him nothing.  Kira's grave was well-kept, the grave 
marker just as O'Brien had constructed it.  Everyone had mourned Kira Nerys.  
Everyone had banded together in their grief to build a new home.  Everyone 
but him.

He had worked on finding a way to fight the planetary interference.  He had 
finally determined how to do so without losing cohesion, without it 
interfering with his thought processes.  He'd briefly told Sisko of his 
decision to explore the planet, but the captain had been busy, merely 
agreeing that the idea held merit.  Besides, he wasn't in charge except as 
community leader -- he could neither order Odo to go, nor order him to stay.  
He'd left.  And now he was back.  He kept talking to Nerys now, finding 
comfort in the words, in the soft Bajoran consonants; his first spoken 
language.  Something they'd shared.  He took comfort in the things they *had* 
shared.  He spoke of all of them.  It had been incredibly freeing.

On the wake of those words had come the realization that he could, indeed, 
tell them to Kira.  She hadn't been born yet.  She would be born and in the 
future, she'd return here.  She'd return and he could tell her.  And just 
maybe, something could be done to keep this from ever happening.  He had 
gotten up and headed for the settlement, where the tales of his travels had 
been eagerly accepted, taken down on a padd while a new generation of 
children had all learned of his exploits.  His voice sounded strange to him, 
and the children's looks of wonder made him feel peculiar.

Only one person seemed to notice his discomfiture, and after urging the 
community to allow their guest respite, led him to her residence.  Leeta 
Nerys Dax, the second oldest daughter from Benjamin and Jadzia; the first 
generation that had needed to have as many children with as many different 
partners as possible; had bade him rest while she gravely explained her own 
studies on the temporal anomaly that had trapped them here.

He had stayed for a while, but then opted to fend for himself a few hours 
flight from the settlement.  There, in the small, dark, forested clearing he 
came to think of as his base central, he had begun to practice his humanoid 
shape.  He took nearly as long with that as he had with his travels.  The 
downloaded files from the Defiant included reading material from various 
worlds.  He studied that, as well.  Everything from there became part of his 
goal -- to meet Nerys, to tell her how he felt, to ensure the Defiant 
returned as it was meant to and to allow his younger self a chance...just a 
chance at the happiness that had never been his.

_Perhaps happiness is not meant for the likes of me._  Odo cried out once 
more, a shrill and majestic call in this form, noting the approaching cliffs 
that spoke of the mountainous runoff ahead and adjusted himself to fly over 
the land.  The currents might shift and he had no desire to plummet into the 
water.  At least not when he could avoid it.

But he had plummeted only a fortnight ago straight into the water.  He'd 
thought Nerys had been in distress and wanted only to help her.  As it turned 
out, she'd been battling her private demons.  He'd only interrupted her 
ritual.  He'd been an interloper on Kira's solitude.  Odo could understand 
that -- he, too, hated anyone intruding on his solitude.

Abruptly, he found himself battling wind currents, too strong for even a 
condor's powerful wings and finally took refuge in human form once more, 
landing harshly, uncaring of the discomfort as he slammed into the ground.  
He merely got up and began walking, feeling the mild wind pulling at him, 
mussing his hair.  It didn't matter.  He didn't care.  He just wanted to get 
away...from what?  From Kira?  Or from his feelings?  They were inextricably 
entangled, he knew.  It was futile.

A rough sound emerged from him, but he ignored it.  More harsh and agonized 
sounds issued forth and he stopped his forward progress, dropped in a heap at 
the edge of the small cliffside he'd found himself on.  There, on the 
hillside, he dropped his head into his hands...and shook.


        ***


What in the bloody, blighted moon was wrong with her?

Kira asked herself the question yet again as she stared out the opened 
doorway and watched the progress of the soaring bird.  She knew it was Odo 
even before she'd heard it's shrill cry.  There were no condor's on Bajor.  
She watched it until it grew too small to be seen, then watched as Jeraddo 
rose in it's wake.  Night had finally fallen.

Bajor at night was incredibly beautiful, the light from various moons shining 
down, the chirp of small bree-tickers and crickets joining in harmony to 
proclaim the nightfall.  She found herself stepping further out, beyond the 
porch to feel the night air carress her skin.

Scented with cool water, damp earth and the spicy scent of moss, it was her 
homeworld.  She reveled in it now, allowed it to momentarily wash away her 
troubled thoughts.  Despite everything, she was glad to be here.

Kira's eyes opened.  She was here, only because of Odo.  She could enjoy this 
night, thanks to him; because a part of him had given his life, and the lives 
of an entire colony, in order to return her to this.  He had done it because 
he loved her.  He still loved her.  The man she'd harassed and baited to the 
point that he'd fled from her in distress.  Did it really matter why he'd 
never told her?  Or did it matter more what she did about it now that she 
knew?

_Prophets, I know I'm indebted...but I need your help again._


        ***


"I'm sorry to interrupt, but...do you need help?"

Odo took his head from his hands, managed to speak past his tight throat.  
"No.   Thank you."

"No trouble.  I just...well...there's a lodge just over there."

"I'll be fine."

"I'm sure you will, but I was just telling you because...well, someone else 
might come by and disturb you.  If you want to be alone that is."  He looked 
up at this.  The young woman shrugged, a kind expression on her face.  "I 
know what that's like.  Wanting to be alone, I mean.  I figured I'd just let 
you know."

He nodded, genuinely grateful.  "That's very kind of you."

She smiled. "Well...if you want to keep being alone, I'll leave.  But if you 
feel like company, I'm a great listener."

"I don't feel like talking much."

"I'm good at talking too.  Or just companionable silence.  Frankly, I hate 
eating alone and it *is* time for dinner."

He studied her, this young female.  Around Kira's age, but she was definitely 
not entirely Bajoran.  Her nose ridges were almost non-existent.  He couldn't 
make out her eyes or hair color in the dimness.  She seemed friendly, but not 
gregarious.  He nodded at her.

"You mentioned the lodge?"

"The Redlands Seaside Lodge, it's only half a kilometre in that direction," 
she pointed.  "I went for a walk.  Thought I heard a bird, but I haven't seen 
one."

Odo was grateful he was no longer humanoid, as he would have blushed.  As it 
was, his internal liquid cooled a bit and rippled.  He nodded.  "Yes, I do 
believe there was one.  But it's not here anymore."

"Thought so.  I'm studying xenobiology at Bajor's Academy of science.  
Redlands is a good place for seeing all sorts of flora and fauna, being an 
area with such a wide climate."

"I agree."

"Well...I'll head back now."

"Would you care for some company?" he found himself asking.

She shrugged, congenial.  "Sure."


        ***


Kira shrugged the shawl over her shoulders.  He had headed in the direction 
of the coast, toward the bay where the river emptied into the sea.  It was at 
least seventy kilometers, but she could request Transport Central to beam her 
to the town square.  From there she could try to find him.


        ***


"Janine?"

"Rhymes with the V'leen part.  I hated it as a kid.  Just call me V'leen, 
though, like the Bajorans do."

"V'leen."

"I'm only one-quarter Bajoran, but I decided to finish my studies here 
instead of at Earth or on Vulcan.  If I stay on Earth, that gives my parents 
an excuse to drop in on me anytime they feel like it.  And Vulcan is way too 
hot.  130 in the shade is not my idea of temperate climate."

He recalled the heat of the mines and nodded.  "That does sound as if it 
would be uncomfortable."

"So...where are you from?"

He hesitated only slightly, glad he'd chosen to solidify in non-descript 
Bajoran clothing. "The Gamma Quadrant.  From a world near the Omarian 
Nebula."

"Really?  I haven't been there yet.  Is it beautiful?"

"The Gamma Quadrant?  Or my homeworld?"

"Both."

"My homeworld wa...is very beautiful.  The nebula can be seen in the sky at 
all times.  The Gamma Quadrant so far has been something of a mystery.  Some 
of the worlds are quite lovely.  Others are more dangerous."

"Some dangerous things are lovely," she smiled.

He considered this, then nodded.  "I agree."

"Someday I'd like to go there."

"I'm not so sure that's wise."

"What?  The Dominion?" V'leen considered this and shook her head.  "Someone 
will stop them.  They haven't really come against Starfleet or the 
Federation.  Between the Klingons and Starfleet...I'm sure they won't cause 
too much trouble before they head back to where they came from."

"I'm not so sure about that.  They've already taken Cardassia."

"Well, there wasn't much to take, from what I heard.  Between their war with 
the Klingons and the Maquis, the so-called great Cardassian Empire was 
nothing but a few spread out worlds, too far apart to really help each 
other."

Before he could respond, a small troupe of players finished setting up their 
impromptu concert outside the lodge where Odo and V'leen sat at a table.  
V'leen was eating, Odo nursed a raktajino to keep her from becoming 
suspicious.  Why he did not want her to know his origins was beyond him, but 
he followed his hunch nonetheless.

Now sweet and ethereal music started playing.  A few of the lodge patrons and 
some passing Bajorans stopped to listen.  Odo sighed.

"That's the other reason I came here." V'leen sighed, too. "The Bajoran 
culture is so rich and extensive.  I've grown to love the music."

"I like it, too.  But then I like Earthly music, as well."

"Really?  What kind?"

"When I was younger, I used to listen to Earth jazz.  It was very soothing.  
Now I find I like nearly everything from before the third world war.  A 
friend of mine is something of an expert on the subject and he has a large 
collection of the music from Earth's 20th and 21st centuries.  I find most of 
the music...entertaining."

"Fancy that.  I like late 20th century music myself.  My old roommate on 
Earth, used to play nothing but Bolian kissa-drum rhythm's though.  Talk 
about a headache.  I couldn't wait to get away from that either."

"I can see why."  He smiled and V'leen set aside her tray.

"I think I'll set this in the recycler."

"Oh.  I suppose I'll do the same with my raktajino."

They both got up and cleaned off the table, then without discussion headed 
for the music.  A few couples were dancing now, and some Bajorans were 
engaged in some of the solitary meditative dances Odo knew well.  He began to 
study them as was his habit.

"Would you care to dance?"

He turned at this, a bit startled, to find V'leen looking up at him, a 
pleasant expression on her face.  He blinked.

"I...I don't really know how."

"Neither do I.  But it looks pretty easy.  Look at those two."  She indicated 
an older couple that was gently swaying together to the quiet melody.  "I 
think I could manage that.  You?"

Odo nodded, before he could think about the matter.  "Yes."

"Great, that's settled."

She stepped a bit closer and he suddenly found her pressing against him, not 
smotheringly, but copying the action of the couple she'd pointed out.  He 
mimicked them, too, taking her hand in his, placing his other on her waist 
and then carefully starting the slow side-to-side motion.

It *wasn't* that difficult, he decided.

"Mm...this is nice."

"Yes, not at all what I'd been imagining," he admitted, relaxing now.

"What did you imagine?"

He considered this.  "When I was younger, the man who fostered me, he told me 
about a few customs, including dancing.  I think he was trying to ensure I 
didn't make any mistakes, but all his warnings did was make me--"

"Nervous?"

"Well, yes."

"No need to be.  You're doing this quite well.  It feels nice actually.  
Almost like hugging, but without the smothering quality."

He considered this, too, then smiled.  "Well put."

"I take it you're not a hugger, either?"

"Not really.  Doctor Mora...the man who fostered me--"

"Oh, you know the Professor?"

Odo cursed himself inwardly.  Of course she might have heard of him, 
attending the same Academy he'd gone to.

"Yes.  He...fostered me when I was young."

"He's amazing.  I'm hoping he agrees to let me apprentice under him 
for my externship."

"Ah."

"So he's not much of a hugger, eh?"

"Not that I'd noticed.  Although that might just have been me."

"Could be.  Could be him, too.  Not everyone is comfortable touching.  But 
anyway, *this* is very nice.  I like it."

He considered the pleasant pressure of her against him, the sound of the 
music and the unexpectant harmony to be found as a couple unnoticed among 
others enjoying the night and music and sighed.  He put his head down against 
her shoulder, felt her rest her own against the hollow of his neck and sighed 
again.

"So do I."

He was wrong in his assumption of them being unnoticed, though.


        ***


Kira moved toward the corner of the large building, following the sound of 
the music she could hear.  She'd been walking nearly an hour, trying to make 
out shapes along the coast.  She'd headed there directly after transport, 
ignoring the buildings since she figured Odo would seek privacy.

Finally she decided to head back and had heard the music, coming from the 
direction of the lodge.  It sounded like one of the impromptu night concerts 
held in the villages.  The sound made her smile, then she turned the corner.

Several couples were dancing to the music the group played before the lodge.  
She noticed Odo instantly, still wearing the faded blue Bajoran pullover 
outfit he'd worn at the house.  He was dancing rather *intimately* with 
someone, a young woman, by the looks of her.  As she watched, her heart 
thumping with shock and alarm, he suddenly seemed to hold her closer, put his 
head against her.  The young woman didn't seem to mind, moving closer to him.  
Kira's breathing changed now.  She felt distinctly odd.

As the music wound down, the dancers did as well.  Soon they broke apart.  A 
few calls went out from the Bajorans for different music.  Odo and the woman 
seemed to just wait, apparently wanting to dance some more.  Kira made her 
way along the building, having to cross near the dancers to continue on back 
to the Transport hub.  She wanted only to head back for the house, her mind 
was in a confused turmoil now.

_Face it, Nerys.  You *never* knew Odo.  You never knew how he felt about 
things.  Maybe you never will.  Maybe *that's* what the Prophets are trying 
to tell you._

She sniffed unintentionally now, but the pain in her head, behind her eyes 
and in her throat and chest had grown inexplicably larger.  A few people 
turned at the sound and she cursed, moving faster now, pushing someone aside 
to get to the main pathway.  Odo turned at the sound.  Kira gave up all 
semblance of caution and began to walk faster.

"Nerys?"

Kira decided now to run back the way she'd come.  It was faster, there 
weren't any people and maybe the dark could swallow her up.  She could hear a 
second, louder call, but it only made her move faster.  She didn't dare turn.  
She didn't want to.

She didn't want to hear what he had to say.  She didn't want to know who the 
woman was.  For all she knew he would admit to various women she'd known 
nothing about, women who he'd confided in and who knew all about him...women 
who weren't blind idiots like her.

_I thought I hated that Arissa woman, but now?_  Maybe he had a woman in each 
town.  The old Odo, the one she'd thought she *knew*, that one didn't.  He'd 
never been with one and didn't think of them, at least not like *that*.  But 
this new one?  It seemed he was full of surprises.

Kira ran faster.


        ----------------------------------
2B cont'd


RIPTIDE - [NC17] O/K 
by Judith / OdoGoddess@aol.com

        ----------------------------------

Comments, questions and rave (or rabid) reviews may be sent to:  
OdoGoddess@aol.com

DISCLAIMER:  This non-profit material was produced out of love for Star Trek: 
Deep Space Nine and is not intended to infringe upon the Star Trek copyrights 
of Viacom, Paramount Pictures Corporation, nor those of any other legal 
holders of Star Trek copyrights, in this or any other universe...

[ALL lyrics are from the incredible song 'Possession' which belongs to and 
was written (c) by the phenomenal Sarah MacLachlan]
        ----------------------------------

RIPTIDE, part five
by Judith / OdoGoddess@aol.com


        "And I would be the one
        to hold you down
        kiss you so hard
        I'll take your breath away..."


"Odo!  Wait!"

The same thing he'd just cried out to Kira.  He turned, though, back to 
V'leen.  She had been kind; he owed her an explanation.  He knew he could 
easily catch up with Nerys, either on foot or in flight.  A shiver of 
impatience ran through him, but he schooled it to politeness.

"V'leen...thank you for talking and for dinner and the dance.  I appreciate 
it.  But I'd better see to another relationship that I *already* have."

She nodded at him.  "Sure thing.  I figured I'd stepped on someone's toes, 
but...just so you know, I enjoyed tonight, too."

"Thank you, V'leen."

She smiled.  "Hey, anytime you need a friend; I'm here at the academy."

He nodded, then turned to catch sight of Kira disappearing around the far 
corner.  He ran after her.


        ***


Kira ran hard along the path in the dark, along the shell-littered and sand-
swept hillside, grateful for the full moon of Jeraddo.  Her thoughts were in 
a turmoil and she finally urged herself to stop thinking and to just run.

A sound behind her made her reflexively recoil, then she recalled who she was 
running from.  _He can catch you no matter how fast you run._

She didn't want that, didn't want to face him right now.  She ran toward the 
edge of the hilly dune now, thinking only of the sanctity of the water.  He 
might run and he might fly, but could he swim?  He'd met her in shoulder deep 
water that one time, but didn't evince any ability to swim.  So, she'd swim.

Sooner than expected, as it turned out.  The crumbling, salt-encrusted crest 
of the hillside broke off under her running feet as she neared the edge.  
With a surprised outcry, Kira Nerys tumbled over the edge and fell smoothly, 
uninjured, into a small inlet of brackish water.

She snorted in water, coughed, fought, found herself entangling in clingy 
strands of sea weed and bracken.  Her head broke the surface, choking and 
crying and coughing water all at once, but something kept her from getting 
any more than her chin up, tugging at her insistently.  Was it Odo?

After a panicked moment, she realized her shawl was caught on something.  She 
futilely tried to catch her breath enough to dip down and let it go, finally 
opted to claw and rip it off.  Her sun-dress went with it.  She broke more 
clearly to the surface now and grimaced as she realized her sandals were now 
lost to her, as well.

_Don't think of that now, just catch your breath._

She did, still coughing water.  A small splashing sound made her look around 
and she saw someone in the water by the edge of the inlet, heading in her 
direction.  It could be no one else.

_Okay, so he can swim._

On that thought, she headed away from him, toward the small reef that marked 
the entry to the inlet.  Before she got within twenty feet of it though, she 
was captured around the waist, warm and careful, but firm tendrils that 
immobilized, but also held her up in the water and kept her in place.  She 
released a small sob, coughed a little and waited.

With Jeraddo in full phase, the moonlight was sufficient to see him clearly.  
A pair of dark violet eyes studied her worriedly.  "Nerys?"

The memory of a fortnight ago came to her and another sob escaped her.  He 
frowned at this, concerned.

"Nerys?"

She wheeled, slapped at him, her sudden hurt and anger overtaking her.  He 
easily absorbed it, took her hands in his and held them firmly.

"Nerys, it was nothing."

"It's everything!" She managed to choke out, no longer even remembering what 
brought her to this, only thinking of how little she'd known him, how others 
seemed to, and how much she hated those people.

"That was a student at the academy.  She invited me to dinner and then 
dancing.  But I'm not involved with her, you should know that by now."

"There's a lot of things I should know about you, but I don't!" She raged 
now, abruptly furious.

"Nerys..."

"What was it about her?  About that Arissa woman?  About Lwaxana even?"

"Lwaxana?"

"And you call her that, too!" she wailed now.  "But you never called me by my 
name!"

"I just did," he pointed out patiently.

"But before!  It's always been 'major' this and 'major' that!" she coughed 
again, then continued angrily, "How was I supposed to know you fell in love 
with me?!"

A silence fell, punctuated only by her slight coughing and the soughing of 
water against the reef.  

"I don't know," he murmured after a moment.  "I'm sorry.  I never thought of 
it that way."

"Well, maybe you should have!" she snorted, then coughed again.

He considered this, noted her slight raspiness as she breathed.  "Let me get 
you back to shore.  You should get warm and dry."

"I'm fine."

"Nerys."

"Great.  You call me that when you want me to do what *you* want."

He sighed.  "I'm going back and you're coming with me.  I'm not leaving you 
out here in the sea, in the dark."

"It's not dark," she argued.  "Jeraddo is up."

He glanced up, noted the large, round moon, the loveliness of it's glow on 
the water and the hilly shoreline and felt despair wash over him, basting him 
in pain and remorse.  Instead of being indoors, staring at the moon from the 
warm and beautiful house by the river, here he was, with a wet, angry major 
in the cold sea.  He was fairly positive this was *not* what his counterpart 
intended.  He nodded at her now, but didn't bother hiding his feelings as he 
spoke.  His voice was full of pain, self-reproof, and weary resignation.

"Once we're there, I'll call Transport Central...get you back to the house."

He began moving them back to the shore now, gently, but firmly, keeping her 
head and shoulders above the water.  She didn't fight him, but merely 
considered this.

His voice had sounded nothing like she'd ever heard from him...except once.  
She fought to recall that time, then it came to her.  It came to her, because 
his expression had been the same; when he'd dropped by her quarters to let 
her know he was cancelling their meetings...the night after Shakaar and she 
had gotten together.  Odo, she remembered, had been guarding outside the 
door.

_Dear sweet Prophets.  I've hurt him now...somehow._

"Odo."

"Don't worry, major.  I'll find lodging.  Or maybe head back to the station." 
His face couldn't be read since he was turned from her, watching the 
shoreline.  He suddenly stumbled a bit and in a moment, Kira could feel the 
sandy bottom beneath her feet.  He let go of her waist and they both 
continued to slog toward the shore.  He kept talking, his voice miserable.  
"I really shouldn't have agreed to come.  I'm sure I've got a lot of work to 
do."

_Work.  What he buried himself in for months after Shakaar and I got 
together.  And what he held up like a shield to keep from talking to me.  But 
he put it down soon enough for Lwaxana.  Even took her for a walk around the 
station..._

Kira swallowed, coughed a little more, thought this over.  _Of course he did.  
He turned to her because of *you*.  That's why he agreed to marry her.  And 
that's why he went with that Arissa woman.  'If there's no kava root, Nerys, 
the coffee may be bitter, but at least it's still hot and you're drinking 
*something*.'_  Her eyes filled with tears as she remembered how Lupaza used 
to use the statement to describe many things in life.

Lupaza who had died while trying to protect her.  Lupaza who had loved her.  
Just like the man beside her had as far back as she'd known him.  He too, had 
protected her from the start.  But he also, she discovered, had loved 
her...and he clearly still did.

Suspicious as ever during the Occupation, though, she'd kept her confidences 
from him and viewed him with suspicion.  After the Occupation, she'd relaxed 
her suspicion once she'd decided that he hadn't protected her for any other 
reason than his justice ideal.  She had come to learn how he felt about what 
was right and what was wrong, and it was for that reason that he'd protected 
her.  Nothing more.  Nothing less.

_I was wrong.  I didn't bother to look any further into what he said.  I took 
it at face value.  But still...if I'm to be honest...Odo has been showing me 
what he felt for me since the beginning.  Hell, he's better at hiding his 
motives than he says I am.  But then, I was never studied like an 
experimental rodent...I guess I'd learn to hide my motives after a few years 
of *that*.  Dear sweet Prophets...how could he even love anyone after a 
childhood like that?_

"Odo."

"Almost there, Major."

"*Please* stop."

He hesitated, then looked back to her.  The tears gleaming on her face made 
him frown, his gaze soften.  "Nerys..."  

Her own face dropped now, pained at the expression on his face, but he 
misunderstood.

_I've brought her nothing but pain and disappointment.  She'll be far better 
off without me._

He swallowed.  "I'm sorry, Kira.  I never meant to hurt you.  I would never 
hurt you."  His face began to crumple, but he ignored it to whisper, "I'll 
always love you.  I can't help that.  But I won't...bother you with my 
feelings anymore."

She stared at him, hard, for several moments, until finally he could not bear 
it and turned his face away.  He couldn't hide his feelings from her now; he 
didn't think he ever could again.

The feel of her cool wet hand against his face made him start and he looked 
up to find her directly before him.  He blinked as her hand gently carressed 
his face.  He could feel the damp trail it took, watched her guardedly.  Then 
she moved closer still, causing him to freeze, uncertain of her intent.  He 
swallowed.

Her voice was quiet.  "You love me."  He nodded.  "Please...tell me."

He swallowed again, a reflexive gesture he was unaware of, and made himself 
focus on her.  Her face was lovely in the moonlight, damp hair swept back so 
her large dark eyes took him in.  He drew in a shuddering breath.  After a 
moment, he lifted his own hand to gently stroke her cheek.  He'd been aching 
to do that for a long time.  His voice was hoarse with unrepressed passion.

"I love you, Nerys.  I've always loved you.  I always will."

"Odo..."

He nodded again, waiting.  He had no idea what she intended and he trembled 
expectantly.  Then she kissed him.  It was so unexpected that he did nothing 
at first, then, as the kiss deepened, found his hands sneaking to her waist.  
She pulled back and he moved them away again.  What did she want?

"Would you show me?"

"Nerys?"

"Odo...*please*...make love to me."

He stared at her, incredulous, before she took his hands in hers, carressed 
them, held them to her breast.  He realized now she was nude.  He looked back 
up to her face.

"Nerys?"

Her voice was clear in the dark night.

"I need to know."  He nodded, still stunned.  She lifted his hands to kiss 
them, then gently let them go to slip her own arms around him, repeating more 
urgently.  "I *need* to know."

A single shiver--pleasure, pain and a piercingly joyous expectation--shot 
through his body, then his hands slipped around her and he drew her to him.  
She gasped, but her own hands began to move expectantly, *demandingly* 
against him and he pressed her closer still, smothered her next gasp with his 
mouth against hers.

Their lips fused in an almost painful, bruising mash of flesh, of teeth, of 
hot, wet, salt.  Tears?  Sea water?  Kira did not care, did not stop to 
question what drove her.  The Prophets knew.  She would leave it in their 
capable hands.  She only knew what she somehow *had* to do.  And it *had* to 
be this man.  No other.  Now...

_*Now*._

Odo almost didn't feel her other hand touching him, searching for the non-
existent gathers of his 'suit'.  He broke from her lips to rasp against her 
upper cheek, near her ear since she did not permit him to pull free of her.  
"Nerys?"

"*Now*," she whispered tightly, urgently.

"I..."

"Now, Odo, please don't ask me.  Just...just take me.   *Now*."  Her hands 
grew frantic, even as the fabric of his 'suit' frustrated her efforts.

His eyes looked wild in the moonlight, but she could not see them, intent on 
reaching that which she craved now, as if it was a fire that burned her.  
Only coupling would clench it.  And only coupling with this one man...

"Odo...*please*."

A small sound escaped him as he managed to pull back from her and nodded 
rapidly, dazed but understanding her intent, if not her reasoning.

"Let me."

It was all the warning he gave before fluidly morphing into his unclothed 
human form, the rough fabric liquifying, leaving behind a smooth unfinished 
surface beneath her questing fingers.  Without time to modify or make 
improvements, it was the exact same body he'd had as a human, having become 
keenly accustomed to it over all those months he'd been imprisoned within it.  
Now he stood before her, as naked as she.

Her eyes raked his form, seeing only his chest in the dimness, but 
knowing...*trusting* he was fully nude.

"Prophets..."

"Nerys?" 

"...*now*."

She slid back into his arms, almost swam into them, and cherished the groan 
that slipped from him as their bodies met in the cool, bouyancy of the not-
so-gentle sea.

"Prophets..." it was all she could say.  A plea?  A prayer?  A cry of 
profound gratitude?

Nerys slid along her lover fully, found the firm, rigid, length that spoke of 
more than desire.  Somehow she knew this wasn't a shape he'd created, but one 
his body remembered.  He'd been human, a man...he had felt this, Kira knew 
now, and felt it still in this form.  It was as natural to Odo as breathing 
and swallowing came to him.  Somehow the fact that he willed his flesh to 
this shape, for *her*, was far more intimate than her hand carressing him 
there.

"Sweet Prophets..." it was a gasp from her lips in the cool, salt air.

"Nerys...?" his own lips trembled, damp from her attentions, from the water.  
He stood frozen with dismay and desire, flesh seeming to burn where her hands 
stroked and carressed him, assessing his dimensions.

A swell of the rising tide surged around them, brought her closer to him.  
Kira rode with it and wrapped around him once more, this time not bothering 
to restrain herself.  The night demanded her surrender.  Her spirit fairly 
screamed for it now, and her flesh gladly obeyed.

Odo also submitted without question now, fearful only of causing her harm.  
He held her to him, found her legs now wrapping about him, thighs trapping 
his hips against her, that stiffened part of him rubbing against soft, hot, 
slippery flesh and making him groan.

Kira fiercely, *joyfully*, accepted this reaction and covered his mouth with 
hers, stealing whatever words either of them might have said, any sounds they 
might have made, and searched the depths of his mouth with her tongue, 
reveled in the feel of his small teeth against her lips, excited by the 
sweet-salty tang of his tongue dueling with hers.

Slightly stronger surges of the tide buffeted them now, and they remained up 
above them only due to Odo's powerful legs, which he'd anchored to the sand 
below.  Kira held onto him, oblivious and uncaring of support, only knowing 
that she could cling to him and he would hold her, hold her up, hold her 
close, hold her safely.

She groaned now, her tears mixing with the salt and unnoticed by either as 
she inched her way upward on his body, gripping him by the shoulders.  He 
supported her wet, unwieldy mass without difficulty, one hand grasping and 
delighting in the fleshy rondure of her buttocks, the other holding the 
slight well of her lower back.  As Kira moved up against him, Odo gently 
hitched her up a little higher, choked on a gasp as she wiggled against him 
until she worked his swollen, pulsing member inside her.

It was a shock as his chilled and rigid member was swallowed up now by slick, 
wet heat.  Shudders rippled through him and Odo fought to maintain his 
firmness of flesh.  Another surge of rippling water rushed past them, as high 
as Kira's cheek and he reluctantly began to move them toward the beach.  It 
was more secure, although he could not have begun to let her go now.  He 
still had not opened his eyes, thanks to her insistent actions which 
swallowed his thoughts and forced him to act on instinct.

Suddenly a surge of tide nearly ripped Kira from him, bringing Odo to his 
knees, and he realized with a jolt that he'd reached the shore.  He moved 
forward some more and gently lay her back on the damp, yielding sand, their 
connection still firmly maintained.  Another torrent of salty water rushed 
around them, over them, past them...receded.

"Odo..." her lips tore loose from his for a fraction of a second, only to 
reclaim them again a moment later.  No longer needing to clutch to him for 
the sake of stability, Kira's hands were free to move, leaving heated trails 
along his bared skin that drove reason from his mind.  Surface to surface, 
they yearned and gasped and throbbed.  Salt water threatened their grasp of 
each other and made them cling that much harder, insisting on possession of 
the other's flesh.

Her flesh.  It was *her* flesh touching his, her legs wrapped around him, her 
lips crushing his, her tongue searching the depths of his mouth, her hands 
grasping, clasping, clutching, *demanding* he meet her fiery abandon with his 
own unfettered response.

His flesh.  It was *his* flesh that seemed to ripple and smother every part 
of her, strong legs anchoring them to the spot despite the tide, his lips 
searching hers, his tongue allowing hers dominion, even as the steely, 
pulsating part of him claimed it's own, deliciously cooling her heated flesh, 
sending a piercing almost intolerable pleasure from her nether regions and 
upward, outward as he pressed into her, hips moving in tight, constrained 
circles against the sand.

He couldn't deny her unquestioned authority in this arena, couldn't deny the 
demands of his flesh, but more, of his *spirit*.  Part of him cried much as 
she was still crying, feelings burning free...burning through them 
both...cleansing the past and sealing the future in this unequivocal present.  
The tide surged about them again, rushing torrents of water curling and 
swirling around them.  Kira ripped free of Odo's mouth to cry out, soaring, 
her triumphant cry choking off as the water receded as harshly as it had 
slammed into them, making her climax  again and yet again, a merciless 
assault, even as the water actually tried to move them from where they were.

The consecutive spasms of her tight inner flesh set him off.  An undeniable 
spark of very human pleasure raced through him from the place they were 
joined and made every cell tingle, made him shake and shudder in an inhumanly 
lengthy peak of pleasure from which he fought to remain within her, to remain 
in his current bodily shape.

It eventually receded, leaving him gasping, unfocused, and insensible.  
Leaving her very much the same, but still leaving them both finally...and 
irrevocably...*complete*.


        ----------------------------------
2B cont'd


RIPTIDE - [NC17] O/K 
by Judith / OdoGoddess@aol.com

        ----------------------------------

Comments, questions and rave (or rabid) reviews may be sent to:  
OdoGoddess@aol.com

DISCLAIMER:  This non-profit material was produced out of love for Star Trek: 
Deep Space Nine and is not intended to infringe upon the Star Trek copyrights 
of Viacom, Paramount Pictures Corporation, nor those of any other legal 
holders of Star Trek copyrights, in this or any other universe...

[ALL lyrics are from the incredible song 'Possession' which belongs to and 
was written (c) by the phenomenal Sarah MacLachlan]
        ----------------------------------

RIPTIDE, epilogue
by Judith / OdoGoddess@aol.com


        And after...
        I'll wipe away the tears
        just close your eyes, dear..."


Jeraddo was nearing completion of it's circuit in the night sky.  The bree-
tickers and crickets had wound down their earlier chorus as the sweet, and at 
first, hesitant chirp of morning birds began to sound.  Predawn had reached 
the house above the river.

It's occupants barely noted these facts, wrapped in the heady ennui which 
followed a night of passions abandon and the feverish pursuit of culmination.  
They had found the first, scarcely felt able to credit the second.  It felt 
so strangely and incomparably new and yet... imperative...*vital*.  They 
clung to each other as the gentle waves of desire washed over them again, 
less shattering than their initiatory desire, but no less ardent.

"Again?"

His quiet voice held the slight hesitant quality Kira had come to recognize as 
Odo's fundamental disbelief.  She also knew it would be a long time before 
that disbelief shaded into assurance, but she hoped not as long as it had 
taken for doubt to be assiduously ground into his psyche.  She only hoped his 
experiences had not left him unable to fully accept what the Prophets had 
blessed them with.  _He's been through so much..._

"I think I'd like that," she whispered.

"It just seems so..."

Kira propped herself up to gaze down on her lover and graced him with a 
smile, stroking his face, his neck...his chest.  "Seems so what?"

His guileless blue eyes looked up at her, even as his own hand sought 
her face, his touch reassuring to them both.  "Necessary."

She smiled, her hand continuing it's downward path, gently seeking and 
finding his so-accommodating flesh.  She no longer was surprised to find 
him already straining toward full readiness.  It was no different for 
her; her own body yearned to meet his again, as if it had yet to sample 
the delights in their union, although they had come to each other again 
and again in the long hours since their first fiery coupling under the 
stars on the moonlit beach at Redlands.

"Maybe it is," she whispered.

"Maybe," he agreed, voice rough with passion as Kira moved atop him, one 
hand carressing the silken smoothness of his chest, while the other held 
his rigid pole of flesh as she smoothly slid down onto him.  Words became 
unnecessary now, as the gentle waves of pleasure built to insistent 
demand.

His hands sought and found every spot that he knew brought her pleasure.  
Their coupling was slow and soothing, but imperative, a sinuous meeting 
of flesh to flesh...then of flesh to fluid, as Odo rediscovered his 
physical nature deep within Nerys, slipping over her and binding them 
both in throbbing, heated tendrils of self, making her gasp and cry out, 
grasping at him, allowing her hands within himself, and joining her in a 
shattering climax.

Then it slowly receded, even as he gently withdrew, collected himself, 
forming his more familiar humanoid form which Kira collapsed on top of, 
holding him closely.  The first rays of dawn shown through the window 
onto the two sated lovers, sighing in aftermath.

Nerys lay atop her lover, feeling him against her, still inside her, and 
thrilling at the sensation, at their existence together.  Odo lay replete, 
enjoying the unaccustomed sense of satiation.  He couldn't remember ever 
feeling this way, even with Arissa.  He sighed now, and hoped she was 
well.  He'd no doubt she was, perhaps even enjoying what he just had, but 
with her husband.

_This is why humanoids 'bond'.  The feeling is too sacred to dismiss it._  
He gently stroked Kira's hair and sighed again.  _How could humanoids do 
this with someone they didn't care for?_

"Why did we wait so long, Odo?"  She rubbed her face against his chest.

He held her a bit closer.  "I've no idea, Nerys."

"How do you feel?"

He kissed the top of her head.  "Complete."

She sighed in satisfaction, in agreement, and held him closer.  "Thank 
you."

He smiled.  "For what?"

"For not giving up on me.  For loving me." She raised herself to look at 
him.  The light made his eyes a crystalline blue, incredibly beautiful 
and she smiled.  "For having bedroom eyes."

He smiled, too, a gentle and delightfully playful one.  "Why do I have 
the feeling you won't let me forget that comment?"

"Maybe because I won't," she admitted.

He studied her, touched her cheek.  "Ever?"

Her breath caught at the implication behind his
question.  Her smile grew radiant, but this time the
old and transferred memory was wiped clean as she
swallowed, and kissed him.  "Ever."

His kiss cut off anything else she might have said. 
Their eyes shut and their senses focused on each
other.

The lovers missed the beauty of Bajor's sunrise, as
the beauty of what they'd already shared took
preeminence...and bound them forever together.


        ~ finis ~


   -------------------------------------------
May 1997.  c Copyright of Judith Macquinn in re: story content.  Not 
meant to infringe on copyrights held by Viacom, Paramount or any other 
copyright holders of Star Trek. Please do not reproduce for anything 
other than personal reading use (including fanzines) without written 
consent of the author. Comments, questions and rave (or rabid) reviews 
may be sent to:  OdoGoddess@aol.com




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