One other thing: Just ignore that baby-beam out episode.
The characters created by Paramount as theirs. All other characters, ideas, articals, and plots herein are mine, and copywrited to me. Please don't copy this story without this note, or I'll be REAL angry. If you wish to comment on this story, or just give me ideas, e-mail me at: dakhur@iinet.net.au
By Felicity Carthew
Captain Ben Sisko bolted down a corridor towards the cargo bay, as the alert siren blared loudly. Until five minutes ago, he'd been in Ops, overseeing a rather delicate docking procedure, when suddenly a minor explosion had occurred on level nine, and those blasted sirens had started.
Arriving at the bay, Ben stopped in shock. Dust and rubble were everywhere, as Chief O'Brien rushed over. "Chief, what happened?" Medical teams were crawling into the bay, clambering over the rubble.
"Unknown as yet." The man shook his head. "It looks as if a bomb went off, but I won't know what happened until I can find the explosion site."
Ben nodded. "Make it snappy, Chief. I need to know if I've got a bomber aboard this station. Was anyone in here when it happened?"
"Yes." Miles looked down the corridor as an engineering team scurried in. "Major Kira and the Kai." Ben blanched openly, as the Chief spoke. Just then, two medics gently led the Kai out of the bay, as she looked wildly at Sisko.
"The Major, you have to get her out." Nodding at Sisko, the medics lead her to a turbolift and headed to the promenade, while a second team exited even more slowly. They carried Kira's body out and placed her gently on a hover-stretcher. Kira Nerys looked very dead, as Ben sidled over to a medic.
"Is she still alive?"
"Just." The Bajoran male glanced at his Captain. "She's been smashed up pretty bad, sir. I wouldn't hold out much hope she'll live for much longer." The man pushed the stretcher towards the re-appearing turbolift, just as an engineering team pounded onto the scene.
Ben turned back to Miles. "Get to work Chief. I want answers as soon as possible. If this was deliberate, someone will pay." O'Brien nodded briefly, as his Captain walked quickly towards the promenade.
The infirmary was in turmoil as orderly's raced through the doors and pushed Major Kira Nerys over to a bio-bed. Lifting her onto it, the pain caused Kira to scream in agony. Doctor Julian Bashir entered the room as all but essential medical personnel left, and was horrified by the injuries the scans showed him.
"Right arm broken...extensive chest trauma..left shoulder dislocated...right leg broken...multiple minor fractures. I have never seen anyone suffer injuries like these and still be breathing." Turning to the trauma nurse, he saw the look on her face mirroring his own. "She's not dead yet. Get her ready for surgery. NOW!" As he prepared, all Julian's mind could see was Kira's iron-red hair atop a mangled body.
Out in the annexe, a medic attended to Kai Winn's broken arm, as she spoke to the command crew. "The Major was showing me some of the last re-fitting done to the cargo bays to assist in ease of station operations. We were just about to leave and return to the promenade, when there was an explosion behind us. I felt Kira push me out of the way, and the next thing I remember, I was lying on the floor, and all I could see of Kira was her upper body under metal rubble."
"Chief O'Brien has sealed off the bay, and has every available engineer working out what went wrong." Lieutenant-Commander Jadzia Dax, Kira's closest friend, spoke formally to her commanding officer, but her eyes kept straying towards the surgery door. "Just before you arrived, he called in to say it wasn't a bomb, but it appears as if a power conduit transfer module blew out and caused a section of wall panelling to fly out into the bay." Dax shuddered and glanced towards the operating theatre again. "The results are obvious."
"Shut down all areas that have been fitted with the new modules until we're sure they're safe." Captain Sisko's calm exterior belied the turmoil that showed in his eyes. "I don't want even the slightest chance that this could happen again. Also, co-ordinate with Odo and ensure that one of us is here at all times until Kira is out of danger and on the way to recovery. When is Commander Worf due back from Earth?"
"Not for another week." Dax again glanced towards the door.
"Well then, it's just you, Odo, and I. Organise a rota to fit in with our duty schedules until she's given the all clear by Doctor Bashir."
"From the extent of her injuries, you could be here a long time." A quiet voice behind caused them all to jump, as the nurse stepped forward. "The doctor asked me to give you a report, sir. At this stage, the Major is in surgery with massive internal injuries. Doctor Bashir has estimated she has less than twenty percent chance of surviving." Turning, the nurse re-entered the operating room, leaving Sisko, Dax, and the Kai looking at each other in stunned disbelief.
The blackness seemed to be almost touchable as Kira opened her eyes and groaned. "Typical," she thought, "it had to happen when the Kai is here. The one time I don't need a power failure!" This thought was quickly followed by the entirely disrespectful idea- "I hope she's scared of the dark..."
"Welcome, Kira Nerys." A voice from behind her right shoulder made the Bajoran spin to try and find its owner. "No, that's not going to work, Major." Again behind to the right, again she spun. Still the darkness hid any sign of who was talking, but that voice.....
"Do I know you?" Kira slowly revolved on the spot, trying to catch whoever it was off-guard. Funny how the dark seemed to swallow up her voice. "And where am I anyway? Last thing I remem...Prophets! The Kai! What have you done with the Kai?" Nerys looked wildly for someone to force an answer from.
"She is still on Deep Space Nine with Captain Sisko and is perfectly safe." The voice was calm and almost sounded as if it was smiling at her.
"Where am I?" Kira had stopped spinning, since the only thing she had discovered was a dizzy head. "What do you want?"
"That could be a little difficult to explain at the moment. Let's just say that you're here to make a choice, except that the stakes are the highest you'll ever known."
"What do you mean?" Kira felt herself fall as the darkness seemed to invade her body. "What's at stake?" Just before her mind succumbed to the night, she heard two words that shook her to the core.
"Your life."
Dax and Sisko sat in Quark's, the drinks before them barely touched. It was over an hour since Bashir had started surgery on Kira, and according to his latest report, it would be at least another three before he could even begin to speculate on the Major's chances. That was, if she even survived the operation.
"She's strong, Benjamin." Dax's voice broke into Sisko's reverie. "Kira won't give up without a fight." A broad grin spread across the Trill's face. "You of all people should know how stubborn she can be."
"I know." Ben's voice wasn't exactly overbrimming with confidence. "But I can't help wondering if this will be too much for her body. Kira's spirit wouldn't relent, but Julian can only push her so far."
"You should get some rest. Staying here worrying about her isn't going to help Kira. Julian's given us an approximate time he should be finished, and Odo is in the infirmary now. He'll contact us as soon as she's out of surgery." Dax laid a comforting hand on Sisko's arm.
"I just hate feeling so useless." Ben stood and grimaced. "You have command Dax. Make sure that I'm informed as soon as Bashir is able to report."
Standing up, Dax moved to walk her Captain to the turbolift. "I'll contact you as soon as the operation's finished." She waited until Benjamin had left for his quarters, before walking slowly to another lift and departed for Ops.
Light hurt. Although Kira had been injured often enough to already have learnt this piece of information, she decided that she really must keep it in mind to remember in the future.
"Do you recognise this place?" That voice was beginning to annoy her. Taking a quick glance around, Kira found that she could now vaguely make out the outline of the figure, but the face was still clouded and unrecognisable.
"Yes, I know this place." Nerys knelt on the ground and allowed a handful to run through her fingers. "I grew up here. My mother...died here. This is where I first felt pain...and hate."
"Do you remember that?" The figure drew her attention to the man and child crawling under the camp's barbed wire fence. The clothes they wore stamped them as long time inmates of the camp, just as the scars on the child's hands and face showed that she had already been put to work in the mines. The two Bajoran's crouched outside the wire for a brief moment, while the man put his arms around the child to comfort her. As the two people vanished into the nearby rocks, Kira saw that the barbs had cut into both their backs, before they disappeared from view in the mountains.
"It took my father and I two days to find a town. Then the resistance recruited us, and we went to live with them." Kira's face contorted with pain as she paused. "He died three months later in a raid on a Cardassian ammunition supply dump. I took his place in the war." She whirled to face the figure behind her and shouted. "I was only twelve years old!" Tears streamed down the woman's face.
"I know." The voice was full of anguish. The figure stepped forward, and for the first time, Kira could see the face clearly. It was tanned, long, and with a firm jaw. Black eyes looked out at her from under short black hair, and were turned up at the edges by a ruefully smiling mouth. Only one man had those eyes.....
"Bareil?" The woman couldn't believe her eyes. "But you're dead!" Realising what she had just said, Kira began to look around, from the man before her to the surrounding refugee camp. "If this is heaven, I'm in REAL trouble."
Chief O'Brien was murmuring to a technician about the enforced shutdown and consequently totally missed the arrival to the station of his wife and daughter.
"Miles! Why didn't you meet us at the shuttle?" Keiko O'Brien, the love of the chief's life, was plowing towards him with Molly in tow, doing her best fire-breathing dragon impression. Giving his most innocent and placating smile to them, Miles tried desperately to defuse the situation.
"Keiko! Molly, my darlings, how are you? I'm sorry I didn't meet you at the shuttle when it arrived, but we had an explosion in cargo bay nine, and I've been trying to get things back together ever since." With concern rapidly replacing her anger, Keiko asked if anyone was hurt. The Chief's face was grave as he nodded in reply. "Yes, Major Kira. She was buried under a pile of rubble after pushing the Kai out of the way. She's in surgery now."
"Oh my..." Keiko's hand flew to her mouth. "Is she going to be alright?"
"We don't know yet. When the triage team pulled her out, she was cut up pretty bad."
A small voice surprised both the adults as Molly pipped up. "She can come to my birthday party! Parties always make ME feel better." Picking up his daughter, Miles smiled at her innocence. "I don't think so honey. I think she's going to be too sick for your party."
"Well, can't you fix her daddy? You fix everything else."
"No darlin'. Only Doctor Bashir can do that." Gently handing Molly back to his wife, he tousled the young girls hair. "I'm sure that the doctor's doing all he can for her."
Doctor Bashir took a moment to step back and survey the repair work to Kira. He had set her broken limbs, and removed the shattered bone fragments. Opening the chest cavity to examine the internal damage, he heard the gasps of horror as they saw the carnage that met their eyes.
"Dear God," Bashir murmured, "how the hell has she survived this long?" As he and his team began to clean up the damage, they found more and more internal injuries and bruising. Then, without warning, Nerys' heart stopped. Pausing for a second, the trauma team waited to see if the heart would start again. When it didn't, they went into overdrive.
"Give me a cardiac stimulator, STAT!" Julian applied the electrodes to Kira's body and powered the machine up. Nothing. Doubling the power, he tried again. Still nothing. "I'm going to have to do an open heart massage, right now. If I don't, we'll lose her completely." Bashir reached into Kira's already open chest and began to hand pump her still heart.
"Come on, Nerys," Bashir muttered, as he desperately squeezed the Bajoran's heart, trying to will it to start beating again, "you've fought more battles than I'll ever know. Show me some of that fighting spirit I know you've got." Still nothing happened.
"Doctor, we're losing her." The nurse was scared stiff. A Bajoran the same as Kira, she had already seen too much death during the occupation but to see it happen senselessly in peace time was tearing her apart. "Her brainwave pattern is decreasing."
"Be damned! I lost Bareil, I'll not lose Kira too!" Bashir doubled his efforts, offering a prayer to any gods that might be listening. Suddenly, he felt a beat, then another.
"We've got a pulse! Heart rate increasing." The nurse spoke in obvious relief. "We're back in business, Doctor."
"Alright. The method may be old, but don't knock it if it works." Julian laid the now-beating heart back down. Looking up, he made eye contact with every team member. "We move slowly and gently now. She's gone under once already, let's make sure it doesn't happen again." Picking up a cauterisor, he began to seal off Kira's wounds, quietly murmuring
"Hold on Nerys, just hold on."
Kira fell to the ground clutching at her chest as a strange, tingling sensation spread through her body. "What's happening to me?", she gasped as the figure of Bareil knelt beside her.
"Your body is fighting to keep going. You were seriously injured in the accident, and Doctor Bashir is struggling to keep you alive."
"So I'm not dead yet?" Kira looked full at the figure before her.
"Are you really here?" The Major's curiosity was slowly getting the better of her, as she reached out to touch his face.
"No Nerys, you're not dead. And I'm not really here. You're...in limbo, sort of. I'm part of your mind, your Pagh, that part of you that is eternal." Bareil stood and looked at her.
"You mentioned a choice." Kira stood and looked around her as the darkness once again claimed the surrounding landscape. "What did you mean about it being about my life?"
"You're standing between life and death. Your subconscious is creating the scenery, and you will decide whether you will go back to your life aboard the station, or go on to be with the Prophets."
"I don't understand." Kira walked cautiously towards the man in front of her. "If you're here, doesn't that mean it's too late to go back?"
"It won't be too late until you decide, but when you do, whatever your choice, there must be no regrets, no second thoughts." Bareil smiled gently. "You can't go through life wondering 'what if?'"
Suddenly, the ground seemed to disappear from under Kira's feet, and she found herself screaming in pure terror into a bottomless abyss.
Dax's feet had taken her back to the promenade, as she knew they would. It didn't feel right to be sitting in Ops while her friend was fighting for her life. Jadzia and Nerys had stood by each other for almost five years now, and Dax knew that the entire crew, with the possible exception of Worf, would readily trust the Bajoran with their lives. Sitting in Quark's, the Trill watched the Ferengi owner almost race over several gambling customers to get to her table. "Is it true? The station scuttlebutt says that Kira's dying and the command crew are keeping it quiet."
"She's not dying, Quark, just injured." Dax hoped it was true as she stood up and moved to the door. "And if I were you, I wouldn't say anything like that when you see her next!" Stopping as she reached the exit, Jadzia shot Quark a curious look. "What odds are on her?"
"One hundred to one against, last time I checked." The little troll looked distinctly uncomfortable.
Pulling out her credit chit, Jadzia slapped it onto the bar. "Ten credits say that she's back at work by the end of the month."
"But that's only eight days away!" Quark's spies were obviously more efficient than Dax had given him credit for. She made a mental note to speak to Odo about it. "I know that. Are you going to take my money or not?"
"Done!" As he watched the Trill walk towards the infirmary, Quark muttered under his breath "And this bet I don't want to collect on."
Walking into the medical centre, Dax could almost feel the tension among the staff present. "How is she doing?" Dax spoke quietly to Odo.
"Apparently her heart stopped once during the operation, but was successfully re-started. I was going to wait for Doctor Bashir before calling you and Captain Sisko." Both officers turned as Julian entered the room. "Well?"
"The Major is very badly hurt. Her injuries were extensive, and she currently in the recovery room." Bashir looked like he'd gone ten rounds with a Klingon warrior. "I've already had to replace almost all her total blood supply."
"Will she live?" Odo somehow managed to keep his voice flat.
"I don't know, she's gone into a coma. Under normal conditions, I would be able to attempt to revive her, but the internal damage is so severe and has placed so much stress on her, that the revival might kill her anyway." The doctor sat down, unable to meet the horrified gaze of his fellow officers. "I give her a thirty-five percent chance of surviving. And I'm probably being generous." The man dropped his face into his hands.
"Dax to Sisko. Sir, I think you'd better come to the infirmary."
"How does it look?" The Captain's voice was level.
"Julian says that she...she's probably not going to make it."
"On my way. Sisko out."
Ben Sisko made it to the infirmary in record time. Inside, he found Dax and Odo pacing restlessly.
"Report, Commander." Ben didn't mean to snap, but the strain was starting to tell on them all.
"Doctor Bashir has given Kira a less than forty percent chance of surviving. She's in a coma, and it is too dangerous to attempt normal methods of revival."
"Are we able to see her?" Sisko's voice had softened as the impact of Dax's report sank in.
"Yes." Julian's voice caused them all to turn around as he came out of the recovery room. "But please, I do ask one thing. Say anything that might help to bring her round. If she's awake, her chances go up, but while ever Nerys stays like this, the odds remain stacked against her."
The four of them moved into the recovery room and were confronted by the sight of Kira Nerys lying on a bed with an oxygen mask over her face. Her short red hair was mussed, and if it wasn't for the mask and beeping machines, she could simply have been asleep.
"It's so unlike her to stay still for so long." Dax was whispering, it seemed sacrilegious to talk loudly.
"This morning she was complaining about the Kai coming to the station. We were supposed to go over the latest security reports, but had to delay it till after the Kai had left." Odo spoke as if in a dream.
"Captain?" The nurse peered around the corner. "Sir, the Kai is here looking for you and Constable Odo."
"I'll be right out, nurse." Ben turned to his two senior officers.
"As of this moment, I want our duty schedules co-ordinated so that one of is here at all times. At no time is Major Kira to be left unattended. If there's any change, I want to know about it immediately."
"I'll take the first watch, Ben." Dax moved over to Kira's side.
"Call me when you want a break, Commander." Odo's eyes left Nerys' face for the first time since he had entered the room.
With a nod, Sisko and Odo left the room, leaving Dax and Bashir with Kira. "She's not going to make it, is she Julian?" The Trill's voice was filled with sorrow.
Trying to sound upbeat, Julian pasted a smile on his face. "Come on now, she still has a chance, plus that plucky spirit of hers."
"I don't know that she'd be fond of the word 'plucky', Julian." Dax smiled ruefully as she pulled a chair over to the bed and sat down. Glancing at Bashir, the Trill wrinkled her nose. "Do you mind....?"
"No, of course not." For once, he wasn't slow on the uptake.
"I'll be right outside."
As the door closed behind the man, Dax turned to Kira's body and grasped the Bajoran's hand. "Well, you've never done anything by halves Nerys, but I think you've outdone yourself this time."
Coming out of the recovery room, Sisko and Odo were greeted with the sight of Kai Winn standing impatiently in the middle of the infirmary, while every officer, bar the one at her side, suddenly decided that they needed to be somewhere else.
"Captain, I'll be leaving for Bajor shortly, but I thought it would be appropriate for me to introduce your new liaison and First Officer,
Captain Jared Tarren." Winn gestured towards the young Bajoran officer standing beside her, looking smugly confident.
Sisko put on his most diplomatic smile and stepped forward. "Kai Winn, surely this is all a bit premature, isn't it? It's not certain that Major Kira won't be awake shortly."
Turning to Bashir as he walked into the room, the Kai smoothly changed gears. "Do you agree Doctor? I was under the impression that Kira was badly injured."
Flustered by the leaders swing on him, Bashir could only stammer. "Well, she IS, but--"
"There, you see Captain." The look on Winn's face reminded Sisko of a wolf about to make a kill. "Even if she does recover, the Major will not be able to return to her duties for some time to come. Why then, are you opposed to someone else doing them in the interim?"
Ben fought down the urge to introduce the Kai to the wonders of deep space through an open airlock, and fixed her with a steely gaze. "But it's not just temporary arrangement that you're after, is it Kai?"
"Why, Emissary, what are you implying? Major Kira pushed me out of the way of the explosion, and probably saved my life. Surely you're not saying I wish her harm?"
"No, of course not." Had Dax been present, she would have recognised Sisko's tone of voice and dived for cover. "I was simply asking whether I should clear out Kira's desk so to speak."
The room temperature dropped to a degree that any passing penguin would recognise as a cold day in Reykjavik. "Captain Sisko, your liaison is appointed by the Bajoran government. That position is currently occupied by Lieutenant Jarred. IF the Major recovers, she will be re-instated, but if she doesn't, the Lieutenant will remain on a permanent posting."
As she turned to leave, Odo spoke for the first time. "You will, of course, leave orders to that effect with us I presume?"
"Of course." Kai Winn's face was mutinous as she stalked out the door.
Lieutenant Jared watched her go, then turned to his new commander. "Sir, I would like to begin my duties as soon as possible."
"Of course. I certainly hope that you can hold your own. Major Kira's set a pretty high standard to live up to."
"Oh, I don't know, sir." Jared had a superior look on his face.
"From what I've heard, she was an average officer who had a few lucky breaks." The expression on Sisko and Odo's faces would have had Gul Dukat running for cover.
"Constable, would you please show the Lieutenant to a set of quarters, and then meet me in your office."
"Is that a meeting I should attend, Captain?" The Bajoran's smug expression hadn't disappeared yet.
"No." Ben decided that the last thing he wanted was another unknown quantity at his staff meeting. "You should take the time to walk around the station and get to know your new posting. I will meet you in Ops later. Dismissed." As the two men left the infirmary, Sisko asked a parting question. "Lieutenant, just how much combat time do you have?"
"None, as yet." The door closed behind him, but not before Odo glanced at Ben and rolled his eyes.
Sighing, Sisko turned to his medical chief and muttered "What do you think Starfleet would do to me if I threw the Kai out of an airlock?"
"Probably lock you away." Grinning, the doctor winked at his Captain. "Let me know if you want a cellmate."
Kira shut her eyes against the glare, as another scene blinked into existence around her. "Oh great," she muttered, "just what I need."
"You really shouldn't be sarcastic all the time, Nerys. It doesn't suit you at all." Bareil was sitting on the edge of a box, swinging a foot and looking around with interest. "Where are we anyway? It's obviously important to you, but we never talked about this place. Why?"
"It's one of the caves we used in the Shakaar. I didn't talk about it because my life now is the station. My friends, the job I have there, they became my family." Allowing herself a small smile, she shrugged her shoulders. "After we became involved, none of this mattered. I worked for the future, and tried to forget the past, but in a way, this is where my future began." Suddenly, she spun and grabbed the front of Bareil's shirt. "I don't understand what's going on. I want to be back on the station." In a flash, the woman found herself walking along the promenade toward the infirmary. Going inside, she saw Bareil standing in front of the door to the recovery room. "You don't want to go in there, Nerys."
"I have to, I have to see for myself." Pushing past the man, she stopped short at the sight of herself lying on the bio-bed, machines beeping steadily and a mask over her face. Tears formed in the young woman's eyes. "How much time do I have left?" She slumped down against the wall.
Bareil hunkered down next to her. "You're very weak, and very, very ill. You were badly hurt in the accident."
"So? I've been hurting since childhood. Once more shouldn't make a difference." Raising a hand, she covered her eyes. "Sometimes, I'd give anything for it all to be over."
"The Prophets offer you peace, Nerys." Placing his hands on her shoulders, he tried to comfort the woman. "They sent me here so you would understand. They will not take you by overriding your will, and they know well the pain and hurt you have suffered, but only you can decide whether to go to them. All I can do is be beside you and try to help as best I can."
The two people re-appeared in the refugee camp, but this time the camp was in turmoil as the resistance liberated it from the Cardassian slavers. "No! Not again!" Kira whirled wildly. "It was hell the first time, why must I see it all again?"
Bareil looked sadly at her. "You brought us here. It is the fear and confusion within you that created this."
And they stood and watched as Bajoran's and Cardassian's fought and died in the sand and dirt of a Bajor from long ago, while the thunder rolled overhead.
"Minister, there's nothing more we can do." Ben could see the exasperation on Shakaar's face as the Bajoran heard about his friend. "All that can be done for her, is being done. Doctor Bashir is monitoring her every minute of the day, and she is recieveing the best of medical care."
"I just feel that there must be more to do." The man was close to panic, but was managing to keep a tight reign on his emotions, just. "She's more important to me now than ever before. I can't imagine what it would be like if she didn't make it."
"We all feel like that, Shakaar." Ben's quiet voice calmed the Bajoran's torn nerves. "Kira will be given the best care we can provide, and hopefully she'll soon be back on her feet again."
"Captain, I've lost every other woman I've ever loved to a violent and painful death. I don't want to lose Nerys the same way." Shakaar was numb with anguish.
"Neither do I, Minister." Ben nodded and closed the channel, and headed to the promenade. "I promise you, we won't lose her."
Molly O'Brien skipped along the promenade beside her mother, arriving at the infirmary just as Captain Sisko came out. "Hello Keiko. Hello Molly. How are you today?" His face was strained and he was obviously worried about his friend's worsening condition.
"Hello Captain. Do you think it would be okay if we visited for a moment? Molly is worried about Major Kira."
"Keiko, you do realise how badly hurt she is? Kira isn't conscious."
"I know, but you know how children are. Anyone who's hurt they want to make them better."
Sighing, the man waved them in. "Doctor Bashir will explain. He's very good with children."
Walking in, they saw Julian smile at them. "Hello, how is my favourite little girl today? Keiko, it's good to see you again, although I wish it was under better circumstances." He looked down as a small hand tugged on his trousers.
"Can I see Major Kira? I want to ask her to my party." The little girl's eyes gazed pleadingly up at him.
Bashir knelt down, and tried to figure out a way to say no. "Molly Major Kira is really sick. I don't think she'll be able to come to your party."
"Well...she can borrow my 'Tookie'." The child held up a toy she had tucked under her arm. "He always makes ME feel better when I'm sick." Julian looked at the toy as he took it from her. One arm was chewed bent, an eye was missing, and there were several places where the teddy had obviously been lovingly re-stitched. Smiling gently, Julian asked "are you sure you want to lend her Tookie?"
The girl nodded solemnly. "But only until she's better!" This was apparently a strict rule. Nodding, Bashir showed that he understood this was only a 'lend' arrangement. Looking up, Molly smiled. "Can I have some Jumja now, mummy?"
As the woman and child left the infirmary, Julian smiled for the first time all day. Turning, he walked into the recovery room to deliver to a dying woman the most precious gift he could ever imagine.
Odo, Sisko, and Chief O'Brien were having what was supposed to be a quiet meeting in the security office. Instead, it had turned into something closely resembling a council of war.
"You mean she's been replaced already? Bloody hell." The chief had only just heard about the Kai's fancy footwork in putting another officer in Kira's place only hours after her accident. "Kira saves her life, and she rewards Kira by replacing her? The woman must have a heart of stone!"
"Probably, but at least we can be thankful that her visits are kept to a minimum, both on frequency and duration." Odo's dry voice indicated that he would have preferred to never see the Kai on the station at all.
"What can you tell us about the explosion?"
"It was an accident." O'Brien placed one of the modules on the desk. "No question about it. We received a shipment of faulty modules in the last delivery, but we've only installed one hundred of them, so they're easy enough to replace. Unfortunately, it took an accident like this to bring it to light."
"Why weren't they all tested before installation?" Sisko glared at the module before him, as if daring it to explode on him.
"Sir, have you ever tried to test ten thousand modules?" The chief grimaced. "From what I've heard, the Major turned on all the panels and displays, sort of showing off the station, so to speak. I've already got teams pulling them out, and we'll test the lot, but it's going to take a while, even if the problem is fixable."
"Just as long as this never happens again." Ben stood and walked to the door. "Meanwhile, I'll be in Ops, breaking in a new First Officer."
"Sir," the chief grimaced, "I just want you to know that, if she doesn't come back, well....I can't imagine anyone replacing her."
Ben smiled tightly. "Neither can I Chief, neither can I."
Dax helped tuck the toy under Kira's broken arm, replacing the elevation pad that was previously there. "Out of the mouths of babes...." Jadzia smiled as she sat back down. "What do the readings say?"
"Stable, but slowly losing ground. She's probably got no more than two or three days left, unless she wakes up." Rubbing his neck, the doctor realised he hadn't eaten in around eighteen hours. "Dax, I'm going to get something to eat, and I'll be right back."
"Don't rush. You look like you could use a break." Dax settled back and picked up Kira's hand, and started to talk to the Bajoran again.
"You know, I don't think I've ever met anyone like you, Kira. No-one else I know could manage to insult five ships captains, four government ministers, and an admiral all in one day. You're probably the only person I know who would willingly get into a broken-down raider, and take off to single-handedly stop a war." Pausing, the Trill smiled at another memory.
"Remember when you started seeing Bareil? You didn't even tell me until after the elections for Kai, so no-one could say he was influencing the Bajoran's on the station. You were so worried about the future, worrying about whether the emotional risk was worth it, when we all could see that you'd fallen for him already. And what about all the stunts you and Odo have pulled on Quark? Only you could have gotten away with all of that." Dax's voice had fallen to a whisper. "Please don't go Kira. We all need you, Odo, Sisko, everybody. None of us want to have to say goodbye to you, don't leave us, please."
A voice broke through the silence on her comm. badge. "Sisko to Dax. Please come to Ops right away. We have to brief our new liaison on station operations. Sisko out." Ben's voice was flat and emotionless, a sure sign that he was hiding his feelings.
Jadzia stood, contacted Odo and asked him to take her place, and gave Kira a final glance, before heading to Ops.
Lieutenant Jared had already made an impression on the current shift in Ops. He had tried to change work-station allocations, and was attempting to revise military policy regarding the Bajoran-Starfleet situation. After Dax and Sisko had spoken together for a few moments, the Bajoran found himself being called into the office.
"Well, I hear that you've already started to feel your way around the station." Ben had deliberately not asked the officer to sit down, and he intended to keep the man on edge for as long as possible. "I want to get a few things clear at the beginning of your time here. I am not adverse to suggestions about how to improve the efficiency of this station, and I will even allow a certain amount of familiarity between my staff when they are on duty." Ben allowed his voice to drop as his eyes became as cold as steel. "But, I will NOT allow a new member of my crew to just walk in and start changing things to his satisfaction. At this point, your stay here is not even permanent. Until it is, you will be under the direction of Lieutenant-Commander Dax. I realise that you've found yourself in an unusual situation, but I will give you this advice." Ben stood to face his new executive officer. "This station has been to hell and back in the last few years, but we've all had to learn to work together, even though we come from different places. I will give you as much support as I can with any Bajoran matters that you bring to my attention, and I hope I can expect the same support from you." With this, Sisko flashed his most charming smile and held out his hand.
"Sir." The Bajoran's smile turned the air sulphurous. "This station is Bajoran property, and as far as I'm concerned, Starfleet is only here to control it until we are permitted to take back what is ours by right. I will do whatever it takes to see that this happens as soon as possible. Until then, I will assist in any matter that I can see will speed up this process."
Dropping his hand, the human glared at the Bajoran. "I can see this is going to take time. Dismissed." As Jared returned to his station, Dax turned to her boss and raised an eyebrow. "Is it my imagination, or were we just told to pack up and go home?"
"Seems so. Mind you, did you expect less? But I don't remember Kira giving us half the trouble I think he's going to create." Standing, the man stretched. "You'd better get some sleep. The next few days aren't going to be easy on any of us. I'll take Ops until the night shift starts." He smiled wolfishly. "It'll let me get to know our new friend."
Dax looked at him sternly. "Benjamin, play nicely in the sandpit."
Kira found herself walking through the monastery gardens, but Bareil was nowhere in sight. "Well, I wanted something peaceful."
"Your wish is my command!" Bareil was sitting beside a stream, his shirt off, trousers rolled up to the knees, boots beside him. "I always enjoyed finding a quiet spot and letting the world drift by, but that became rarer and rarer towards the end."
Sitting beside him, Nerys began throwing pebbles in the stream. "We never seemed to get a break, did we? I couldn't afford to leave the station for very long, and you couldn't get away from the Assembly very often. Seeing each other for a few days very month was never enough."
"We didn't do too badly." Bareil put his arm around Kira's shoulder, and smiled as she snuggled into him. "As I remember, Sisko always made sure that we were able to spend as much time together as possible. But I think I would have had a fight on my hands if I'd tried to take you away from the station, and brought you down to the temple with me."
Kira had tilted her head back and closed her eyes, looking as if she was trying to catch the rays of a non-existent sun on her face. "If I listen really hard, I would swear I could hear their voices telling me they miss me, wishing I would return to them. I just wish...."
"What do you wish, Nerys?" Bareil moved to face her, staring intently into the woman's face. "What do you want to hear?"
"I want to know the future, to see how things would change if I went with you, or went back. I need to know that I'm needed, that I'm not just doing a job that anyone could perform." Kira was speaking with an intensity that stunned the man.
"Whatever makes you think that you could be replaced? Who do you know who could do your job half as well as you do?" Bareil was amazed. He knew that Nerys didn't believe she was anything special, but not this seriously. "What about when Ben Sisko disobeyed the Federation's 'Prime Directive' during the trouble with the 'Circle'? He risked everything to rescue you from them, against all the laws of the Federation. Now, if those aren't the actions of a man who believes that his officer is indispensable, what are?"
"It's easy to say, but it's not easy to believe." Kira began pacing up and down the stream. "Look at me. I'm only a Major, but there are officer's who enlisted after me, who already outrank me! It's like going to the station gave the government free range to forget about me."
"Would you have preferred that the government had left you back on Bajor at the desk job they had in store for you a few years ago?" Bareil stood up to face her. "Is that what you wish? I'm sure you would have lasted a week, before marching into the Commander-In-Chief's office and demanding your old job back. This would, of course, be followed by the fastest de-commissioning in the history of the Bajoran Militia."
"I could always ask Ben for a Starfleet commission, he's already told me I'd be accepted." Nerys was grinning by now. "Although I'm not sure the uniform would fit."
"I think you might find the collar a little too tight." Bareil was smiling now, too. "I just see you filling out forms, being nice to diplomats. Oh yes, you'd be the most unique officer ever." Nerys looked steadily at the Vedek, and sighed. "I've missed you, Bareil. It hasn't been the same since you...died." Kira sat back down.
"Some days, when the nights seem too long, I wish I'd been the one to get injured in that accident."
"It was my time, Nerys." Bareil knelt before her. "But your decision isn't made yet. You still have a choice. And I think, that if you look deep inside, you'll see someone worth living for."
"I don't know what to do. Part of me wants to rest, but another part wants to see through what I've started to the end." Kira buried her face in her hands.
"You know those voices, the ones just out of reach? They're the voices of your friends. They care about you very much, haven't stopped worrying about you since you were hurt." Darkness slowly claimed the scene around them again. "Listen to them, hear what they have to say about you. You need to know how they feel."
Kira grabbed Bareil's arm. "Don't leave me, please." She looked pleadingly at him. "Stay with me, I need you."
"It's okay Nerys." Bareil took her hands and held them tight.
"I'm going to be with you, I won't leave."
Nerys closed her eyes, and concentrated on the voices, just able to hear her friends in a world no longer her own.
For the command staff, the next two days were hell. Life at DS9 couldn't stop, it still had to go on, ships coming and going, little problems that made up life on the station. But there was an urgency whenever one of the crew entered the infirmary. Their lives revolved around Ops and the med-lab, as they desperately tried to reach out to their fallen colleague.
Odo took an unusual amount of time out from harassing Quark to spend with Kira, often sitting and just holding her hand, occasionally letting a finger trace her face, sometimes telling her how the station was going.
"We've had to take cargo bays seven through twelve off-line. These faulty modules have set us back weeks. Quark has set up a betting tab with odds on your survival at one hundred and fifty to one against you living. You have to return to us, I'd hate for him to be proved right. Your sacrifice saved Kai Winn's life, although that's proved to be a mixed blessing. You're special to all of us, Kira. Please come back."
Dax told her of past hosts, reminded Kira of times they had spent together, and also provided a most un-feminine, un-professional opinion of the Major's replacement. "He's tried to change crew rotations, policy, basically told us to pack up and leave, and is generally making a bigger pain in the butt of himself than you ever have. Come back, Nerys, please. You've invested so much in Bajor, and the station, and the future, that I can't imagine you not being here to see it through. You're part of us, Kira, so you keep, fighting, okay?"
Ben Sisko looked like a disaster waiting to happen. He sat next to her bed, just holding her hands, trying to think of what to say. Finally, he spoke: "Kira, I know we haven't always seen eye to eye. We've had fights that would have seen Starfleet officers locked away for the rest of their natural life, and our different agenda's have confused more Admirals will ever understand how we work together. But, in everything that's happened, and all we've gone through, we've never lost that trust and friendship we've fought to build up since we first met."
"When the Cardassian's kidnapped you, I hated them for stealing not only my First Officer, but one of my closest friends. When I thought I'd blown up the wormhole because of the Founder's, I despised myself for condemning you to a life you might think I had betrayed you into. And when you lost Bareil, all I could think of was when I lost Jennifer. I saw you standing in the monastery gardens after the funeral, looking like your entire world had been destroyed, and all I wanted to do was put my arms around you and hold you tight to make the pain go away. Now, I wish I had."
Standing, he leaned over and brushed her hair neat with a gentle hand. "You're my friend Nerys, and one of the best officers I've ever know. I don't like your replacement, and I'm too used to your ways now." Bending, he almost kissed her forehead as he would a sick child, but was interrupted by the sharp ping of his comm. badge.
"Dax to Sisko. Sorry about this Captain, but the Kai wishes to talk to you."
"Put her off, take a message, anything. Just leave me alone." Ben was growling by this stage.
"Sir," Dax's voice was gentle but firm. "It seems that only the Emissary will do."
Sighing, the Captain stood. "Very well. Will you come down and take my place here?"
"I'm on my way, Benjamin. Dax out."
Sisko gave Kira's hand a final squeeze. "Don't worry, Dax'll be here soon. We're working on the idea that you'll get sick of hearing our voices and wake up just to tell us to shut up. Please wake up soon, Kira." Turning, he walked out the door without a backward glance.
In his office, the Captain grabbed a cup of coffee, before he opened a channel to the Kai. "Kai Winn, what can I do for you so soon after you've just left us?"
"Captain, Lieutenant Jared has informed me that you have been hampering his efforts to improve the situation on the station. According to my liaison, you have been protecting your own interests to the detriment of our officers."
"Excuse me?" The situation would have been amusing, had the circumstances been different. "Just how have I been doing this?"
"You have blocked his efforts to improve shift schedules, policy, and upbraided him in front of a junior officer."
"Eminence, he hasn't the authority to review policy, or staff schedules. As for the other matter, I simply...discussed his bounds of authority with Commander Dax, who is his superior until a permanent liaison is instated. Now, Kai Winn, is there anything else?" His smile was skeletal. Wisely, the woman decided that it would be more prudent to keep quiet, although her face showed that she would have liked to say alot more.
"Actually, I'm glad you've contacted me. Before you left the station, you neglected to leave the order necessary to reinstate Major Kira when she recovers from that terrible accident."
"How IS the Major?" The Kai still had an ace up her sleeve, and since the woman was probably going to die anyway, it wouldn't matter if she played it now.
"Not well. Doctor Bashir's last report gives her survival rate at only twenty percent. Complications are setting in, so if she doesn't wake up in the next few hours, she probably never will." The man's face was calm, not letting the woman before him have any indication of the turmoil inside him.
"That's terrible." Winn couldn't have had a better day. "You will, of course, arrange for her body to be transported back to Bajor for burial. And what makes this tragedy even more regretful, is that I was going to inform the Major that her promotion application was discovered wrongly filed. Her promotion was approved, and I was going to present her with her Colonel's badge before I left." Winn watched as Sisko's face flinched with the anger she knew he was feeling. "I will see that she is buried under her new rank, in her home province."
Ben nodded tightly. Speaking would have been a very dangerous idea at the moment. After a second, he managed to decide on a sentence that wouldn't start a major incident between Bajor and the Federation. "We've been looking for that application for the last two months. I'm glad to hear that it was approved, even if Nerys will never know." Ben forced a smile. "But, in case a miracle does happen, can I please have that re-instatement order anyway? At the rank of Colonel, of course."
"I'm transmitting it now." Winn pressed a button, and Sisko saw the long-awaited information appear on his data padd. "I'll see you at the funeral, Captain."
The Kai broke the connection an instant before Sisko smashed his coffee cup against the opposite wall, and slammed his fist onto the table so hard that the baseball jumped. "One day, so help me I'll....."
The senior staff of Deep Space Nine were together in the infirmary, as Sisko told them about the Kai's actions. "I know it's hard on all of us, but we can't change things. At least Kira will be buried with the rank that she worked so hard to achieve over the last few years." Ben stopped as Julian slowly walked out to the main room. "Will she live?"
"It's unlikely. She's almost gone now, she just hasn't responded to treatment like she should. It's almost as if she's holding back for some reason. Maybe, Nerys wants to stay wherever she's gone, or maybe she doesn't know the way back here." He shrugged. "Either way, it doesn't matter. I estimate Kira has one, possibly two hours left, before she passes the point of no return."
"We'll stay until it's over." Dax gulped back tears, trying to stay as calm as possible.
"No, that's not a good idea. It won't do any of you any good to be here at the end." Bashir ushered his friends to the door. "The coma will make it totally painless. She won't feel a thing, I promise." As Julian watched his friends slowly walk to Quark's, he turned back to the nurse. "Nurse, please notify Prylar Griff to be on stand-by to prepare Nerys' body to be transported back to Bajor for burial. If anyone wants me, I'm not available. But, I'll be in with Kira, until it's all over."
Julian slowly walked back into the recovery room, and locked the door. He wandered around for a moment or two, before sitting down. And crying like he'd never cried before.
Kira let the tears stream down her face, as she opened her eyes and looked at Bareil. "I can hear them. They want me to come back to them, to finish what I've started." Pausing, she gazed at Bareil. "How long have I been here?"
"Three days." Bareil searched her face, then seemed to listen to another voice. "Your life has been slowly ebbing away as your body grows weaker." He slowly ran a finger down her face.
"I have to choose, don't I? It's time to decide." Kira gulped back the tears. "I don't want to be alone."
"You don't have to be alone, Nerys." Bareil stood away from the woman, just holding her hands. "I told you I was part of you, part of what you are, who you are. So, that means I know your heart, because I'm part of your heart. And we both know that there's a man on Bajor, who wants to make sure you're never alone again." Bareil grinned as Nerys blushed.
"I know you love Shakaar very much, and I know that you're desperately hoping he'll be the man you love for the rest of your life. Go back to him. Have his children, let yourself become part of a future that we could only dream about. Help him make Bajor a planet we can all be proud of."
"I'll never forget you." Kira threw her arms around Bareil, and felt his arms hold her tightly for the last time.
"Go back, Nerys." Bareil stepped back, and seemed to be losing substance. "Remember what has gone past, but live for what is to come." Kira's eyes began to close, and a distinct feeling of pain began to spread through her body. "Goodbye." Nerys whispered quietly, but found she couldn't remember what she was saying goodbye to.
Julian raised his head, and sniffed. Wiping his tears away, the man turned to grab Kira's hand tightly. "Why like this, Nerys? You should have died in battle, fighting for your people's lives, or of old age, after a long and brilliant career. Not like this, for no reason."
The man stretched out a hand, and brushed her hair straight. "I really liked you, Nerys. You were the first woman I'd ever met who didn't ridicule me, or who didn't fall for my charm lines. I wish we could have become better friends, but we never seemed to really work together. I know this sounds like I'm just saying it, but I want you to know that everyone here, is going to do all they can to help Bajor, and to see it grow like you dreamed of. I wish you could be here to see the future, but if you want to leave, then go and find a place where there are no enemies to hurt you anymore."
He lent over, and lightly kissed Nerys on the forehead, before removing the last of the tubes and machines, leaving only the heart monitor in place. The oxygen mask had gone a day ago as Kira's lungs seemed to be able to work unaided. Standing over her, he whispered again. "Farewell, Nerys." He turned away.
"Life hurts!" Kira opened her eyes, and croaked out the words as best she could. She was too weak to let him know that she'd heard every word from before, but they could talk later. Meanwhile, she was enjoying the sight of Doctor Julian Bashir standing above her, totally lost for words. "Don't rush me Julian. I don't feel like dying just yet."
Bashir didn't know whether she'd actually spoken, or if it was a trick of his ears. But when the woman looked up at him and smiled, he could barely stop himself from grinning as well. "Welcome back...Colonel." As she blinked groggily, Julian nodded. "The Kai 'found' your promotion form. Apparently, it was mis-filed, so you're a Colonel now." Nerys smiled, as the man slapped his comm. badge. "Bashir to Sisko. Sir, how fast can you organise a party?"
The Captain's voice sounded depressed and puzzled. "Doctor, we will not be celebrating the death of a crew member. Unlike some people I can think of."
"That's a pity, Captain." Julian winked at Kira. He knew she enjoyed a good joke as much as anyone else. "Because the Colonel was really looking forward to celebrating her promotion." There was total silence on the other end for a few seconds, before Sisko came back on.
"She's...alive?" The man sounded amazed.
"Alive, awake, and just as cheeky as ever." The sound of cheering came over the channel, and Julian saw Nerys grin back at him. "Give me a few moments to make sure she's okay, and then you can pay her a visit." Closing the channel, the man looked down, as he felt Kira's hand touch his. Leaning down, he held her hand tightly as he gazed into her eyes. "Welcome back Nerys." Grinning lightly, he unlocked the door and called in the nurse.
Sisko strolled out of the recovery room after visiting Kira. "So, when are you going to release her?"
"In a few days." Julian grinned broadly. "If I keep her any longer then that, I think she'll destroy the med-bay out of sheer boredom. But I won't be letting her return to work for a while longer. She needs to take the time to recover from what happened." The man looked sideways at his Captain. "What about the Kai? Is she going to allow Nerys the promotion, or will it mysteriously 'disappear' again?"
"It can't disappear, now. Everyone knows about it, and the Kai sent me the information officially, so from yesterday onwards, Kira is a Colonel and nothing can change that." Ben grinned at Julian. "As it is, I want you to be personally responsible for Kira, until she is fully recovered. I think something happened to her in that coma, and I don't want her making any rash decisions without taking the time to think about it."
"I'll see what I can do." Bashir smiled calmly. Looking after Kira would hardly be a chore. "Anyway, I'll make sure she's fit and healthy for the party in two days. Are you sure you want it to be a surprise?"
"Yes." Ben whispered conspiratorially into Julian's ear. "I've invited a few of her old friends from the resistance. They'll be arriving with Minister Shakaar, and Dax and I want to surprise her with them."
Julian nodded sagely as Sisko strode towards Ops, then muttered "And I'm supposed to keep that kind of thing a secret from Nerys?" Shaking his head, the man headed back to his patient.
"Julian, I think I can walk there by myself!" Nerys twisted in the wheelchair to try and face the young man pushing her down the corridor. The two people were on their way to a briefing in the wardroom, but Bashir had refused to allow Kira to walk, insisting that she be taken in a wheelchair to prevent any undue stress on her so soon after her recovery.
"Either you arrive like this, or I turn around and keep you in hospital for another week. Your choice." Julian smiled broadly as Kira gave him a disgusted look, slumped down into the seat and sulked. Finally, they reached the door and Julian quickly pushed the chair into the room, just as Dax ordered the lights on.
Kira sat stunned as she looked around the room. Several of her friends from the resistance were there, Shakaar and Lupaza among them, as were all of her friends from the station, including Prylar Griff. Ben
Sisko strode forward and held out a hand to pull Nerys out of the chair. "We couldn't let you get away with not having a party, could we? So, on behalf of the Bajoran Militia and Starfleet, I'm proud to present you with your promotion to the well-deserved rank of Colonel." Reaching out, the man pushed the symbol into her uniform collar, and saluted.
"Congratulations, Colonel. If anyone deserves this, it's you." Nerys blushed redder than she had ever gone before, as everyone clapped and cheered. Ben hugged her tightly, then stepped back to look at her, as she spoke. "So, this means we're equal in rank again." A mischievous grin spread over her face. "I can argue with you again!"
Ben laughed. "But it doesn't mean you're going to win!" Turning away, he watched as her old comrades and new friends came forward, and wished the Bajoran all the best. Eventually, she spotted Keiko and Molly at the back of the room, saying goodnight to the chief apparently. Kira reached down into the wheelchair and picked up a stuffed toy, and beckoned Molly over.
"Thankyou for lending me Tookie, he helped me get better very fast." She knelt down as the the little girl hugged her toy tightly, and whispered conspiritorially. "He's great to hug at night, too." Molly and Kira giggled together, while everybody else laughed quietly.
Finally, Kira was able to grab a drink, and make a speech. "I'm honoured that you all came here today, I didn't realise that so many people were interested in what happened to me. But, I don't deserve all the credit. A lot of the credit goes to my old commander, Shakaar, who brought me into the resistance, and taught me how to be a soldier, and to my friends in the underground, for helping to keep me alive." Nerys took a deep breath as Shakaar bowed to her, and continued.
"As well, I owe much to Captain Sisko, Commander Dax, Constable Odo, Chief O'Brien, and Doctor Bashir. They've stood by me through civil wars, kidnapping, Founder invasions, and other troubles too numerous to mention. They have been my friends and my teachers, although I haven't always been a willing student!"
"Why does she always say things like that when I haven't got a recorder handy?" Lupaza was madly patting her pockets, as the group laughed.
"What I'm trying to say is that if it wasn't for all of you, I wouldn't be where I am today. Thank you, everyone, I owe all of you and could never repay you. Thank you for being my friends." She smiled at them all. "I hope you all have a great night." Everyone began to break up into smaller groups and talk. Kira wandered over to the group of her old comrades and joined in the discussion when she felt an arm snake around her waist and looked up to see Shakaar looking down at her with a quiet smile in his eyes.
"You're not planning to replace me with a tookie, are you?" The man couldn't resist a little jibe at his lover, as he adjusted the new pin in her collar.
"Not a chance. There are some things that a Tookie just can't do." Nerys gave him a gentle kiss and settled into the embrace and then turned back to her old friends and proceeded to have a better time than she'd had in quite some time.
E-mail me at: dakhur@iinet.net.au
Bajoran Proverb: Don't F**** with the female!