Disclaimer: Paramount wouldn't touch this one with the traditional 40' pole. Nevertheless, they still own everything except my own twisted concepts. Love and War by Catherine Weller Odo didn't quite know what hit him. He had a basic idea, but Major Kira's blurted, "He's back, play along!" was followed by a kiss that was totally unexpected. Play along, indeed... Odo vaguely recalled her murmur something about being sorry for yelling at him, and asking if she forgave him. He was powerless to resist, caught up in a second kiss that made him want to confess all to her. Kira came out of their hurried embrace panting for air. "Thank the Prophets - he's gone..." She released herself from their tangle, "Sorry about that, Odo, Tiron's *back*; he still thinks we're 'together'... You're the only one that can help me." By this time, Odo had collected his shattered wits. "I - see." He managed, _You needn't be *quite* so apologetic, Major..._ "Why not enlist Shakaar?" "He's down on Bajor the whole time." Kira began pacing, "That's not what I need to try and scare Tiron off. He came right up to me, saying that until I was actually *married*, I was still 'free'. Anyway - I can rely on your help." "You're welcome," Odo sighed, "Do you want me to press charges on him?" "No... He's important for the Bajoran economy, damnit. I can put up with him following me around for a while. See you later, Constable." Odo watched her go. He had no trouble playing at being Nerys' lover; his problem was stopping. _Prophets, it felt good to hold her, if only for a little while... Stop being stupid, Odo'ital; she'll never *see*._ Wincing at the sudden pang of self-pity, Odo resumed his patrol. It was getting harder for him to be near her without wanting to be nearer; there were times it was almost akin to physical pain, the only salve for his pain, her touch. Moments like those were now frequent reminders of how stupid he was being about this. Perhaps he could talk to Dax, they'd shared experiences once, she *knew* how he felt. Perhaps it might help. Dax sighed as her door pager chimed. "This better be important," Jadzia clambered out of her lotus pose, "Come in." It was Odo. "Commander? Am I - interrupting anything?" "Naw, come right in, pick a chair. I've already heard Kira's side of the story." She guided him in, "You must feel like hell." "Very accurate, Commander." "We're both off duty - you can call me Dax, or even Jadzia," Dax replicated a Raktagino, chose a different chair to Odo's and fell into a calm, tell-me-all-about-it posture. "You probably know about most of it. Tiron has come back... I'm back to 'playing' her lover, in an effort to make him give up." He sighed, slouching, almost huddling in his seat, "Sooner or later, she's going to ask why I play it so well." "Hell," said Dax, "It might go on so long, she'll start to think she's in love with *you*. It has been known to happen." Odo glared at her, "Somehow, I *don't* think so." "Why the hell do you love her, anyway? I never got anything about that from Curzon..." "It all dates back to the Vaatrick murder, or its resolution; Kira - thought enough of our friendship to try and avoid the truth," Odo dared look up, "She *valued* me... she valued **me**. Enough to fear the truth because of what it might do to - to how I thought of her. I've - never been valued by many people in my life, Dax. It shook me to be thought of that much. It was - pretty soon after that that I realised I - felt for her, too. It - only got worse from then on." A clearing breath, a sigh, "You've probably trod this path before; what did *you* do?" "I ended up marrying him," Dax grinned, "But first, I had to argue a good friend into playing matchmaker. We ended up composing mystery notes. Although in this case, she'll probably think it's Tiron. Hmmm..." Her thoughts turned inwards. "Dax?" Odo angled his head at her, "I hope you're not coming up with something we'll both regret..." "Maybe only a little. I was thinking maybe convincing Tiron to stay longer, hanging around Kira some more... Maybe a little side-research into what Shakaar's doing down on Bajor. I've - heard some odd things from friends on the surface about him." "Just - remember to keep me updated about your plans. I'm going to be late for a kayaking session as it is." Nod, "Thank you for your time, Commander." He was gone. Dax resolved to do her best research on Shakaar's private affairs. * * * O * * * Odo was much surprised to find Tiron checking up on him in his office. Odo did his best to look in a hurry. "You're working late, Constable," he sneered. _Sooner or later, everyone has to choose sides..._ Odo mentally sighed, "Nerys hates it when I work late," he lied. "But since I'm so devoted to her, she *knows* it's never anything but my job." He smiled inside when Tiron winced slightly. He knew, from his own research that Tiron had tried to 'own' a few other women in other ports of call. Some even fell for him, only to discover that the man was a swine. "So she likes devoted men." "Especially since *I'm* devoted to her," That particularly easy truth made a smug grin on his face. Odo began shutting down his office. "Now, thank you for reminding me, Mr. Tiron, Nerys will be missing my company." Tiron followed him. All the way to the habitat ring. Sneering. "What's so special about *you*?" he inquired, "It certainly isn't your looks." Angry at his manner, Odo decided to turn the knife, "Don't you know? I'm a Changeling - a shape-shifter. I'm far more -" here, he made a sinuous gesture with his hand, "*flexible* to her needs..." Tiron went apoplectic, spluttering incoherent things as Odo strode on towards Kira's quarters. _Prophets, that felt good. >sigh<... Oh well, back to work._ Odo touched the door pager once. "Who is it?" Her muffled voice called. "," he said quickly in Bajoran, lest the now fit-torn Tiron hear. Kira opened the door with a welcoming, if fake, smile, "" "" "" As soon as the door closed, he switched back to standard, more accustomed to it now, than the tongue he first learned. "Maybe you'd better sit down..." he began. Dax liked to keep speed in the local networks, as a gossip addict, it was the least she could do. Since her job frequently dictated days away from them, she learned quickly to just stick to confirmable news, rather than the rumour channels. Now she scanned those rumours as fast as her eyes would let her. Damnit, there was a quicker way to do that... "Computer," she sighed, "Scan the rumour channels for anything related to First Minister Edon Shakaar, cross-reference with any real news items about the same individual." >Working.< intoned the machine. Odo was pretty sure that Major Kira Nerys had never laughed harder in her life. He kept wanting to look into corners to check if he'd missed any information. _Calm down. I'm only funny... I make her laugh. Prophets._ "What makes it worse..." Kira gasped in between clutching her ribs and giggles, "is y'r prob'ly right... *flexible*!" She burst out again, close to tears. "How *could* you!?" "Blame Dax. She was conceptualising at me a few weeks ago." Further fits, "Gods... after what you told me *everything* sounds filthy." >Be-deep< "I'll get that." Snort-ch-ch-ch. Gasp. "No. We both will. Tiron and all." The supreme effort of keeping a straight face drained the rest of her strength, it seemed, as Kira needed the support of at least one of his arms to walk straight. "Enter!" It was, indeed, Tiron. He was a lot redder than Odo remembered. He let his face relax, showing his true emotions at last. "Nerys had a laughing fit, I'm afraid," he announced, "She's a bit impossible to talk to, right now." Tiron's face collapsed into a small nova of fury. "I *won't* forget this!" "...*flex*-ible!" Kira squeaked, snorting again, "Sorry, Tiron. You're not versatile enough for me. Bother some other - *solid*." Another peal of a laugh. Tiron, thankfully, stormed off, leaving Odo to pick up the figurative pieces. He never exactly became accustomed to laughter unless it was directed *at* him. _Am I that amusing to you, Nerys? This poor, parody of a man shambling towards the idol of perfect love? What a fool I must look to her,_ Odo sat her on the couch, replicated a cup of Ginger tea the way she liked it, gave it to her, _What a fool I *am*._ He mumbled something about returning to his quarters to rest, and left her there to sort out whatever it was that was so cursed *funny*. Dax was in his rooms. He wanted to hit something, or roar fury until he made himself deaf. Odo *longed* to be separate and indifferent again, for the time when 'coupling' was a uniquely alien concept. "You can forget about moving things while you're here, Commander." Odo snarled. "I wasn't going to touch a thing," Dax stated, "I take it you had another incident with Tiron?" "You could say that." He quickly outlined both encounters. At the end of his report, Dax had ended up biting her middle finger with a distracted frown. She hissed, shaking her tooth-marked hand, "By all the Gods, you *have* to be some kind of masochist, Odo." Dax began to pace, watching that she touched nothing, "By all accounts, you're indulging in self-torture." "Unlike you, Dax, I can't just bite myself and endure that." Odo said, folding onto the floor, underneath the statue-structure that he'd enjoyed so much, "Prophets, I could *use* something that worked like alcohol right now. Null the pain." "It isn't worth it," Dax reminded, "You get the hangover on top of whatever you drank to forget, then there's the addition of trying to remember what you did when you were inebriated." "In other words, I'm better off sober with the pain I have." "Yes, basically." Dax paced back to Odo's side, looked at a chair, thought better of it, and sat near him on the floor. "I've been doing some research on Shakaar." "Judging by the look on your face it's bad news. Let me guess, he's totally devoted to Nerys..." "Worse." Dax handed across a padd, "He's been devoting himself to several women." Odo flipped through page after page of names. There were hundreds of them. "Prophets. Poor Nerys..." "I organised them into social, private meetings of less than an hour, visitors to his home at night, visitors to his office at night, companions on tours, and confirmed members of his entourage." "He couldn't be *that* busy." Odo stated, "I've studied Bajoran physiognomy, I should *know*..." "So... who gets to tell her the bad news?" Odo stared at Dax, "I couldn't do this to her. It'd ruin her." Odo hung his head, ashamed at the words coming out of his mouth, "It would hurt her. I *can't*..." "You're a romantic fool, Odo. It'd hurt her worse to find out from one of his entourage." Dax sighed, ruffled his hair, then hauled herself upright, "I'll tell her. It'll be better if she hears it from a female friend." _Even Dax thinks I'm a fool._ He re-formed his hair without a thought. "Of course, you'll remain silent about my feelings." "Regardless of your absence of a heart," Dax grinned, "Yours is solid gold. Of course I won't, but maybe you should start thinking about what you'll do if Kira chooses *another* bad match." "Very simple. I'd die." Dax rolled her eyes, "I'll talk to you later. Tomorrow morning?" Odo nodded. "See you in my quarters, then." She let herself out before Odo could correct her. _Now that,_ he decided, _is a very confusing individual._ * * * O * * * Kira finally managed to stifle her laughter by the time the door chimed again. Only to break into uncontrollable grins when she discovered who was there. "Dax! You dirty-minded old Trill! Come right in and tell *me* how you came up with *Odo* being *flexible*." "Kira. Calm down, this is serious." "I *am* calm. I just heard the best joke of my *life*! Prophets, how do you come up with them?" "*Kira*... I've uncovered evidence that Shakaar's been having affairs behind your back." "Oh, that's *good*. That's very good. Who put you up to that? Tiron?" "No, I'm serious. It's real. These are *verifiable* facts," Dax handed her a datapadd, "Look them up when you can catch your breath." Dax stormed out again. That was odd. Nerys tossed the padd amongst the crowd of others just like it on her desk. * * * O * * * Odo watched the Promenade crowds through a haze of soft misery. Judging by the contented look on Nerys' face, she hadn't read the news yet. He didn't know whether to be jubilant or sorrowful. Her smile, even though it was directed at a friend, warmed him inside and made him want to smile out of some bizarre sympathetic reaction. "Why aren't you down there with her?" Tiron's voice wafted over his shoulder. Odo only spared a cursory check before returning to his vigil, "Duty before pleasure," he sighed. "I like to stand here and see if she'll notice me before I take a break and join her." "And does she - notice you?" "She likes to tell me she did." Odo quickly separated himself from the merchant, hurrying down the stairs. While he was still under the bridge, Kira noticed him at last, Odo made a covert gesture upwards. A glimmer of unerstanding, followed by a false smile of adoration. Frankly, he was glad of the opportunity to let his emotions show, but Nerys' cold pretence chilled him. _True and false... which will out?_ "Can you believe him?" Kira whispered, "He's been following me all day." _I'm surprised you noticed, I've only been following him for half that time, until I thought I scared him off._ "You're *sure* you don't want him arrested? Or at least *detained*?" "I'm *sure*. That man stands between Bajor and economic ruin, Odo." Odo took up one of her hands, faked a kiss to her knuckles. A false hit for a false kiss; perhaps it would knock some sense into him. "In case you haven't noticed, he's *stalking* you. It's only a matter of time before he decides to do worse, before he *tries* something other than just following you." "He's harmless, really. Especially since you're my 'lover'." "The Aaberzan death-flower looks harmless, too, Kira. I've seen records that it also smells rather pleasing - written by relatives of its victims after they *died*." It was getting difficult to keep his voice down, he was sure people were staring. For once in his life, Odo didn't care, "I, of *all* people should know how much *appearances* are worth." "A lovers' spat?" Tiron inquired. Damnation, that man was getting good at sneaking around, past even his delicate senses. "Of course not," Nerys announced, loud enough for the gathering crowd to hear, "Odo's just concerned for my safety. He thinks you're a threat. Of course, you aren't going to threaten me, are you Mister Tiron?" "Do I look like a threat?" He exuded innocence. "I don't judge by *looks*," Odo growled, "I judge by *intent*." Tiron twisted a smile at him, "Jealous men can't always hold what they desire, I've found. I've noted that I’ve been away over a year, and you're still unpledged; I'd certainly take that as a sign that your Nerys isn't committed to you." "I'd suggest, *sir*," Odo managed through gritted teeth, "that you return to your ship. There are a great many dangers on this station. Unfortunately, my security teams can't prevent *everything*; even beatings go unnoticed, sometimes." "Are you threatening me, Mr. Odo?" Odo repeated his trick of appearing angelic, "Do I look threatening?" Tiron took his chance to escape. "You pulled out all the stops, just then, didn't you?" Kira mused. "No." Odo replied, calming down somewhat. Now he only felt fit to chew duranium alloy, instead of Tarellium, as he had when Tiron was there, "Pulling out *all* the stops means not resisting what I wanted to do to him." He blew a sigh. _Calm. Be calm. You don't want Nerys to think you're a monster. But then, who talks to themselves in their head, eh? *Calm*!_ "You don't want to know what that is." Kira whistled. "Sounds vicious." _Speaking of vicious..._ "Odo to security, ensure that the merchant, Tiron returns to his ship? I don't want to find him stalking Major Kira again." >Understood, sir. We're on it.< Now he could relax, a little. "Regardless of how beneficial he is to the Bajoran economy, Major, he's going to stay away from you, and I'm going to be sure of it." "Well, thanks for your concern, Constable, but I can look after myself." Kira took herself away from him. Storming off to Ops. _And I'll be sure you're safe, Nerys, no matter what you think of me._ Odo shuddered briefly in the cold of isolation, before returning to his work. Dax made sure to watch Kira's face when she re-entered Ops, the Bajoran Major seemed mildly irritated, not upset enough to have read the bad news, yet. Damn. "How was lunch?" "Can you *believe* him? He just *decides* to monitor Tiron, without waiting for an official complaint, or anything! Who knows what'll happen to Bajor if we don't get his business?" "If I were you, I'd worry more about what Tiron has up his sleeve." "Jadzia, I'm a big girl, now, I *can* look after myself." "All right. Fine. Don't say I didn't warn you." Tiron fumed. He was getting rather good at it, with all this practice. It was all the shapeshifter's fault, ruining his chances with Nerys like this. He knew the shapeshifter couldn't be purchased, from a brief scan of his record. Perhaps further research could reveal another fulcrum. Tiron called up the record again. Reading the bare facts; found in Denorious belt as infant. Forty-eight years in the Bajoran Centre for Science, transferred all around Bajor for almost two years before arriving at his current position... Tiron realised he'd gone too far ahead. The key was in his past - the years in a lab; Tiron checked for the scientist associated with that project. A Doctor Mora Pol, who still had a copy of the Changeling's medical record, and was still living on Bajor. Tiron made the call, asking for a copy of the shapeshifter's records, or Mora's papers, posing as a medical records agent for the station. The purchase itself was easy. _How cheap his life truly *is*,_ Tiron wondered, _It can be sold for so little, via the lists of poisons this Mora trialed on him..._ * * * O * * * Kira was irritated. It wasn't just Odo trying to protect her, but after the Ops crew found out about her stalker, they all began acting as if she didn't know right from left. They meant well, she supposed, but there was districts of difference between meaning well and doing well. Now Odo had just about assigned himself as her personal bodyguard. "Do you *have* to follow me around like this?" It was 16 hundred hours, she was tired and didn't need another babysitter. "I have reason to believe that Tiron may be plotting something. He's shown an aptitude for getting past *anything* I put in his path." "Yes, well thanks for your help, Constable," she growled, "I'm capable of handling Tiron." "I just want to be *sure* Tiron's - 'handled'; properly." He inspected a small alcove, and found nothing but shadows. There was a small noise behind them. Odo turned his head to see if it was anything. And one of the shadows reached out to press a hypospray against his neck. Odo knew it the moment it entered his system, and instantly thanked the Prophets it wasn’t anything stronger than a paralytic chemical. "Run Major!" He warned, "*NOW*!" Already, he couldn't move his feet, he was feeling too heavy to stand. "Damnit, *GO*!" His legs were useless, and he couldn't shapeshift new, stronger ones. Odo watched, half dreamlike, as Major Kira called for an emergency transport. Then the shadow cut off her words, tearing the badge from her uniform. Helpless. Felt so helpless. "Nerys..." he managed before the air disappeared around him and resolved into Ops. The first thing that struck him was that there was no bulkhead behind him to maintain his rough sitting position, the second was the floor. He couldn't see much, but daren't close his eyes for more than a blink. Everything was going faster than he could quite grip his mind around. He focussed on his senses. "Constable?" That was Chief O'Brien, "What happened?" Couldn't speak anymore, at least, not clearly. Dax was nearby, supporting his head. "He's been drugged! Beam us straight to medical." The world sparkled and changed again. The infirmary. Bashir lifting him, with Dax. Into a biobed. Hated the things. "Do you know what you were given?" Bashir pronounced. "...p'r...pwr..." focus. Words. "Pa. Ra... lit'c. Milder; th'n most." "Nurse, 20cc's of silicate-lifeform detox. Mora's treatments always start with that. Can't to much harm." Odo just managed to catch a frown on the doctor's face, "We're damn lucky it works on him." Another hypospray. The fog cleared from his mind. "Deautrium derivative, with nacrium oxide." Anxious to move, his hand twitched. It was working, "Tiron's got Nerys. Gotta move. *Now*." "I'm sorry, Constable, but you're out of the loop, this time." He could sit now, so he sat, "Detox works quickly on me, Doctor. Unfortunately, there's an after effect to worry about. I don't have time to be cleared." His mind was working at twice its normal pace, "Odo to security, make sure Tiron's ship doesn't leave before I get there." >Understood.< His legs could move, and so did he. "Stand by for anything, Doctor. I have ten minutes, since you administered that detox, to do what I need to. Then, for all intents and purposes, I relapse." "Then I'm going with you," Dax stated, "as backup." Odo sighed, it wasn't as if he could stop Dax doing anything she wanted to. "You might need a phaser." She took one from a cache, then followed him to the turbolift. * * * O * * * Kira tried the ropes again. No chance, this man tied knots like a pro, she'd met sloppier Cardassians in her time. Tiron was one smug bastard. She didn't think of how she got here - that was a fatal mistake; instead she focussed on her escape. Judging by the dress one of his paid flunkies had put on her, Tiron was hell-bent on a wedding. Not a problem, just say "No." Maybe. If he didn't have that sort of routine for his species' nuptuals, she was as good as vole bait. She twisted her wrist in one side of the tangle, not caring about the burns she was getting. There, she could just feel a part of the knot. An attempt to pull it out only resulted in a tighter hold on her hand. Great. One of *those* knots. How the hell did she get out of one of them last time? A friend. Remembering was a mistake, now all she could see was Odo collapsing like a rag doll against the bulkhead. Should've run when she had the chance. Who'd have known that Tiron had a personal cloaking device? Odo, aparrently, since he was on guard for *anything*. Just about anything, anyway. Was he dead, now? Black dust in a lonely coridoor, and no-one to chant over even those poor remains. No. She musn't cry. Odo was alive until further notice. He had to be. That simple. He had to be alive, or she was going to personally mutilate Tiron until he was unrecognisable. Then stomp on the bits. She managed to turn her other wrist, chafing her skin until she bled there. With both hands, now, she sought an end to work with. Tiron entered, bedecked like a king and looking like a fool. She glared at him with all the hate she could muster, never stopping at her bonds. "Ready for your happy day, my love?" "I'd rather marry a Cardassian vole! Odo's gonna pound you for this! He's going to tear you apart just so he can feed you your own innards! Then *I'll* feed you your teeth, followed by the rest of your head..." He hauled her to her feet, "I've found that, with many people, they'd rather live. You'd rather live, wouldn't you Nerys? Your darling Odo, I'm afraid, would rather die than see you in my arms, so I granted his wish." _Odo is alive, damn you! I'll tear off your head and use it for a carounet ball; after I feed you *yours*..._ "When I get my arms free, you're going to have a *very* short lifespan, you diseased son of a Targ and a rabid vole!" There was a knife at her throat. She shut her mouth. "You would rather live, Nerys, wouldn't you?" "Kill me, I don't care." "If it comes down to that, I will. Alive or dead, it doesn't matter to me, as long as I have you." Kira called forth more curses on both his heretage and his progeny, then his manhood. "Never the less," Tiron sighed, "You *are* going to be mine. I, personally, would prefer you to be alive, but if you wish to follow your Odo into oblivion..." There was a noise behind her. A loud one. Like the ship had just been hit by a moderately-sized meteor. There were a series of them. Kira grinned, "That's my Odo, now." "Your Odo is dead. You were there." He glared at a berobed flunky, "Start the ceremony." Odo pounded at the ship's door. Damn magnetic locks. His only hope was to deform the door enough so the locks wouldn't hold. He upped his outward mass to it's maximum limit, putting all that weight behind the next punch. The door sailed out of its position to his the opposite wall. Inside now, he and Dax searched. "Nerys!" Odo boomed, forgetting to watch his volume. Tiron gritted he's teeth, then stood, forgetting Kira and her struggles with the ropes that bound her. "Just how hard is he to kill?" he muttered. "I don't know," Kira snarled, "No-one's ever succeeded yet." _Almost. Almost free... Don't let him see the victory until it's too late..._ "Tiron!" Odo roared in the distance, not so distant, now. "Come out and fight, coward!" "Keep it down will you?" Dax's voice! Kira smiled venom. "I don't want to be deaf before my time." "In here." Announced Tiron. Odo lunged at him, faster than any motion she was used to. Tiron barely had time to scream before he was struck down by one explosive blow from the shapeshifter. The next she knew, Odo'd simply torn the rope from her wrists. "We'd better get out of here." "Right." Kira stood easily, "I want to press charges." "I'll take care of that," Odo murmured, suddenly deflated, "After I recover from detox..." She realised he was wobbling, and put her shoulder under an arm. Dax holstered her phaser and caught his other side. "...urgh..." Odo murmured, aparrently trying to remember how to walk, "I *knew* I'd pay for all that... 'M sorry, Commander... won't be able t' keep that appointment..." "That's fine." Dax said, "Maybe we can reschedule." His weight was heavier on her shoulders, "...bl'dy... det'x..." Odo gasped. "Stay with us, Constable," Kira soothed, "We'll help you out of here." "'M heavy," he told her, slurring like a drunkard, "unn'er stress." "Come on," Dax grunted, hauling Odo and steering the trio, "You gotta help us. Legs, Odo. Come *on*..." Odo managed a shuffle, "...gotta t'll N'rys... alm's' fail'd. Almos' lost 'er. F'rev'r... 'lm's' los' ch'nce. Gotta... 'fore los' n'rve..." Kira had no idea what the hell he was talking about. They reached the airlock and Dax called for transport to the Infirmary, where Bashir stood waiting. "It's not even ten minutes, yet," "... run m'self h'rd. Jus' 'bout done... gotta..." further gasps, he was fighting the detox, "N'rys... tell I--" he collapsed like so much rag again. All of them could only guide his fall into a biobed. "What in all hell?" Kira managed, "That's *twice* he's called me 'Nerys'..." Dax bit her lip, looking slightly guilty, "It's probably the detox, confusing him a little." "Damnit, you know something, Jadzia. *Tell* me." "It's not my place to, Nerys," Dax sighed, "Go home, read that datapadd I gave you yesterday, and then ask Odo what's going on." "If he survives," said Bashir, "He's pushed his system to the limit, maybe beyond... There's evidence of cellular trauma, his lifesigns are destabilised. I'm going to have to confer with Dr. Mora on this." Kira found herself staring at Odo's inert form, a slow chill crawling up her spine. "Okay. I'll - go home. Call me, no matter what, Doctor." _Damnit, I don't want *all* my friends to die! Live, Odo, *please* live..._ Still clad in Tiron's idea of a wedding dress, she stumbled blindly towards her quarters. * * * O * * * Mora's idea of treatments were simple, and effective, to a limit. Aparrently, Odo had passed that limit. "He'd never pushed himself so hard after the initial detox effect, before." Mora explained, "Aside from setting up the regeneration field, I don't know what *could* be done." Here, he adressed the unconscious Odo, "Why? What did you need to do that was so *important*?" "He's beyond answering." Bashir informed, making the last adjustments to the cellular regeneration field before turning it on, "And I'd *suggest* we run a few simulations before we attempt any trial and error." Mora bit his lip, "Simulations only have limited accuracy." "Then you and I are going to start improving them." The datapadd shattered against the wall. Prophets, it felt good to break something. Kira would've preferred Edon's letcherous neck, but he was down on Bajor. She could do nothing; absolutely nothing. Kira Nerys hadn't felt this helpless since the occupation. Her best friend was lingering near death, she'd been dense about Tiron's limits. Almost fatally dense about the danger she was in. Just like the time - when she first met Odo. //Anyone else would have called it the perfect crime. Observe the man's habits, go into the shop while he was home with his wife, and get the list. Except for one thing. He'd decided to check up on the shop. One moment, one thought - survival. One split-second decision, one consequence - death. And suddenly there was no time to secure her objective. She'd failed, but the resitance needed her alive. Nerys fled, while making it look like she wasn't fleeing, paid off the Ferengi for an alibi, then made sure she wasn't seen for an hour before being where she was supposed to be for the rest of the night. Simple. Effective. No-one could find a flaw. At least no Cardassian could. Then *he* showed up. By that time, Kira was thinking of thousands of alternatives to killing Vaatrick. She had to keep it from showing on her face. Right now, all that mattered was the watery Samatt and her mug of water. She hadn't seen him coming, only peripherally aware of a presence off to her right. "May I join you?" A rough voice, despite its almost-whispered softness. _Remain neutral, act hungry._ Not a problem, since she'd missed rations last night. Kira managed a nod. She remembered his hands, one nested inside the other, while the thumbs kept guard. Kira looked up, briefly, an offworlder. He nodded slightly, as if to himself, "Pretty girl like you shouldn't be eating alone." Kira spared a sarcastic glare before returning to her Samatt, "I don't do whatever it is you want. Not for money. Not for food." "No - you misunderstand." He was panicking. What sort of sentient *was* he? "Of course, I can see how you could. Let me - start over." She almost laughed, "Are you some kind of investigator?" Instant, "How did you know that?" "You are, aren't you?" _And inept, to boot. This may be easier than I thought._ After that, it was extremely businesslike, Kira found herself watching his eyes to find emotions beyond the masklike face. He'd picked up a few things, like noticing hands. It seemed he wasn't so inept after all.// She remembered her first day back on the station, looking at the wreckage, and seeing the tan uniform approach before she noticed the un-aged mask of a face. By then, she knew his name, Odo. //"Nice to see you made it, Constable," Kira grinned, wry. He tilted a nod at her, "You probably want to be briefed on your way to Ops." His eyes showed anger at the mess as they walked, "The Cardassians decided to have some 'fun' before they left." "And you didn't stop them?" "I couldn't." Odo growled, signalling for the turbolift. "They made sure I was - resting; before they started." This was some source of tension for him, a failure in his eyes? "Why couldn't you just - stay up and stop them." A sigh. "I'm a shapeshifter. This form, while handy for you humanoids to relate to, is exhausting. I have to rest in my natural state after sixteen hours. In my natural state, I'm essentially helpless." This must have been something embarressing for him to impart. She mumbled appologies for prying. From there it was just business. She found him, during her break, in his office on what was left of the Promenade, attempting to put the place in some form of order. "Ginger tea?" Kira offered, "You've been working pretty hard." "Thank you for the offer, Major, but I don't drink." "Something to eat?" "I don't eat. At least, not as you understand the term." His hands kept working. "I'm trying to get to *know* you, damnit!" She blurted, "You don't eat, you don't drink, what *do* you do?" He watched the outburst with vague interest, "I work and rest." "That sounds a bit - dull." She scooped up some debris, placing them into the recycling bin nearby; just so she had something to do. "Major, my work is *anything* but dull. Especially compared to the research centre." "What research centre?" That earned some genuine surprise, "You didn't look up my file? I thought you'd be curious." "Not that curious, Constable." It was the first time she'd seen a smile made of that slit of a mouth. The first time she'd seen any real emotion impact on that mask, "Thank you, Major. I think I'll enjoy working with you."// The friendship that resulted was also a surprise, an easy-going one evolved on the basis that they were both outsiders to some extent or another. It just happened that as she became one of her own people, Odo became more and more the outsider. Increasingly distant - even from her. Why? Why did he still bother to take such care about her safety when he obviously didn't want to be near her? >Be-deep< "*What*!?" "It's Dax. Can we talk?" Dax, as if she had enough trouble, right now. Kira let her in. "Yes." "I take it you read the list." Dax said, "I'm sorry about that, I - did it to help a friend; and you." "What sort of friend would want you to do this to me?" Kira demanded, "*Why*, Dax? What in the name of the Prophets made you do this kind of research? I might have been *happy* with Edon." Dax sat, heavy, on one of the few chairs in her rooms, "There's no easy explanation for this," she sighed, "I promised I wouldn't name - the individual involved." "So explain it to me the hard way." Dax looked Kira in the eyes, sighed again, and began a fairy tale. {Once apon a time, there was a beautiful maiden, the treasured daughter of a wealthy man...} Odo felt like he was falling, slowly, through grey fog. He didn't know if there had been anything to wait for, and if there was, how long he had been waiting. It was warm in the fog, pleasantly numbing. All his pain had gone, somewhere lost in the ether. Was he in pain before? He couldn't quite remember... There had been - a beautiful woman; he was sure of that. Hair like fire, and a spirit to match. Beautiful and free, like the birds. {...This maiden had hundreds of suitors. Lords, Princes, the entire heirarchy and some wealthy men, like her father. All wanted her for their own, but only one man wanted her for herself. He was a low man, but an honest one, the truth escaped his mouth whenever he spoke. All he wanted to do was tend the flowers she smelled and the trees she sat under, and the grass she trod under her delicate feet. He envied his plants, although they were lower than him, they at least got to touch her, by and by...} He came back from being a bird once. Somehow, changing form was natural to him... and tried to tell her how wonderful an experience flight was. How he could understand freedom through those pinions, how he knew how she must feel. How he loved her, even though he was - caught? How could he be caught and free at the same time? So hard to remember, in this fog. {... This gardener made sure there was a rose on her pillow, summer or snow, every night and every morning. These roses brought the first and last smile to the maidens' face, just as the flowers of his gardens brought other smiles. Meanwhile, of course, the maiden was unaware of him, preferring to dally with other paramours, sporting with them as a cat sports with its prey. When her father finally demanded an end of her games, the gardener was very much surprised to hear that his love would only marry the man who brought her the roses...} He was the fog. Drifting, seeing little flashes of who he had been before, he had no idea how they related to one another, anymore. {...Before the humble gardener could stand forward, all her would-be paramours declared themselves to be men of roses. Therefore the maiden devised a test, "Let him bring me a living blue rose, in person," said she, "And there shall be no tricks with ink or dye, for I have a wizard who will test it's colour, true or false. If it be false, then I'll see the liar no more, my Father has dungeons aplenty for them to stay in." Her highborn suitors harried themselves off to distant places, but the gardener simply moved to his workshop, and began working. He began with a rose the colour of ice, gathered the seeds of the flower that was the bluest, and worked from there. Day and night he perservered, yet never forgetting the single bloom for her pillow every morning and every night. Less patient suitors paid for expensive cheatery. One even brought her a rose made from blue cloth. That one was sentenced to the torture chambers...} He lingered near the memories of the fire-haired one. The one he was certain he loved, no matter how painful the memory. There he re-learned his name - Odo. The other names came later. Constable. Ital. Friend. 'Sweetheart'. Odo learned her name, too. Kira Nerys. {... Finally, the gardener brought into the court a plant that held a single, deep blue rose. The exact colour of the maiden's eyes. "Your rose, my love." was all he said. "You?" Asked she, "You are my man of the roses? Smelling like manure and looking like a mulch-heap - *you*?" "Yes." Said he. "You asked of me a blue rose, and here it stands. The only blue there is to my eyes. Exactly the same as in yours." "You lie. You cannot love me. You're a lowly gardener." "True, I am a lowly gardener. And I cannot lie, I do love you, ever since I came here to tend the gardens, I loved you." The gardener dared look at her face, "Test me as you would test the rose. A wizard knows truth when he hears it."...} From those memories, Odo learned he had others. Other friends. Dax. Chief O'Brien. Sisko. Quark? Yes, even Quark. {...Eventually, they wed, much to the maiden's chagrin and embarressment. But she found, that despide his humbleness, he was a much better husband than any of the men she had sported with in her youth.} Friends everywhere, when he thought about it. "And they lived happily ever after, I suppose," Kira stated. "In the story, yes," Dax said, "But in real life... he's still trying to find something to make you smile." "Then tell me who it is, so I can tell him." "No, Kira. I promised I wouldn't. You'll have to draw your own conclusions. If he doesn't finally tell you, at last." "Jadzia?" Kira softened, "Tell him - from me; that I'd be *very* happy if he came forward?" "When I get the chance." Dax promised. "Now I believe you have a sick friend to visit?" "What the hell. I can't sleep anyway." But what was the point of going back to them? Back to the pain, the various humiliations received in one way or another. Back to having to watch Nerys from afar, hurting inside. It was very pleasant, in the fog, listening to outside voices like a distant comm call. Away from pain. Her voice! Odo had to listen. "Look, *doctor* I want to see him!" She was mad. Odo could understand, he hated doctors, too. "I have the right." Mora's voice, "Well, it can't hurt." Closer, now, as if she had come closer to his fog. "Odo? I don't know if you can hear me... I'm sorry I doubted you, about Tiron. I'm sorry I didn't listen..." A sensation. Something warm and wet hit his hand. His real hand, somewhere outside the fog. Was he the fog? His mind somehow wandering through it? Odo tried to make it to the border of the fog, using his senses as a guide. "I wish this whole thing didn't have to happen." A sigh, "I wish we hadn't grown apart." Her voice was louder, now, closer, like the feel of her hand against his. "We were such good friends, shared any moment we could, but - one day I just turned around and you were avoiding me... why?" _I loved you Major. I still do._ That's why he was in pain! That was why he hurt. Jelousy. She loved other men. Odo debated withdrawing into the painless fog again, but he couldn't leave her; couldn't withdraw from her touch. Another sigh, torn with grief, "I don't know myself... It all seemed to happen after Shakaar. Sometimes I wish I'd never told you - but I was so happy to be in love. I had to share it with someone. Well. That's over, too, now. He's been playing with a lot of women behind my back... I'm such a damn fool." "Both... fools..." he whispered. How could he whisper? Odo willed his eyes open. It worked. Her beautiful face was there. She'd been crying. His arms wouldn't work, yet; Odo ached to brush them from her face. It was all he could do to whisper her name. She smiled a little, pain-filled smile. "I'm sorry." He managed to twitch his fingers in her hand, brush his skin against hers. "Me too..." So tired. All he wanted to do was rest. He couldn't move. Nerys squeezed him. "Are you going to be okay?" The question to end all questions. "Don't know." Odo managed, "Ev'rythin' hurts... can't move." His eyes closed, and the fog waited behind them to pull him away from her. "So tired." "You should be resting," Kira held his hand in hers. So warm. "I *really* can't move. Not even... to rest. I want. To tell you - something. Nerys. Before. I loose the chance. Again..." He collected what energies he had, letting the regenerator work on his substance. She was biting her lip. "Doesn't it hurt?" "Used t' pain..." Odo summoned his strength, "I love you, Nerys. For the longest time." The fog called him. Odo answered. Falling, but not so deeply, this time... * * * O * * * "Stupid. Stupid! *Stupid*!" >Crash!< Dax's hand hovered near the pager at Kira's door. To call as a friend or not to call? Judging by the sounds of destruction, Major Kira was not very happy right now. What the hell. If she died, Jadzia would live on in Dax, and whoever she was next could continue until Kira had it out of her system. Kira looked like she wished doors still had handles. "What!" "I thought you could use a friend right now." "You knew." "Yes. I did," Dax began, "and I had to keep a pro--" Kira hit her, square on the jaw. Dax socked her straight back. "If we're going to fight, at least let me in," suggested Dax. Kira stepped aside, still hostile. "You *knew*!" "He didn't exactly *talk* to me about it!" Dax felt a little like screaming right now, too. "I had to *fight* it out of Curzan, and he doesn't fight *fair*!" "Well you should have *told* me!" Kira, at a loss for anything to throw, punched at the air. Dax dropped her voice to a hiss, "And what would you have done if I had?" "I'd have--" Kira sagged on the spot. Tears brimmed her eyes. "I'd have probably laughed. At you. At Odo... Oh, Prophets." She sank to the floor. "I'm so sorry." Dax sat beside her. "One of us probably had it coming," she blew a sigh. "*Now* do you want to talk?" Kira rubbed at her jaw. "You throw a mean right. Okay... Now that I've heard him *say* it. I think back on everything. Ever since I met him, and *everything* points right to it like a big sign, or something. Why didn't I see it, Dax?" "There's an old saying, 'love is blind, but lovers are blinder'. Once you make up your mind about someone, it's very hard to see anything else about them." "I still feel like a fool." "That's alright. You're allowed to." * * * O * * * There was so much less pain this time. Odo wondered why until he woke. Liquidform. Of course. He must have spent some of his unconscious time resting under the healer matrix. Odo stretched, forming his accustomed shape. Mora was there. A familiar face, if not always a welcome one. "Feeling better?" "Much. Another hour or two and I can probably go home. After the usual tests, of course." "Not really necessary," Mora announced, "That biobed has been checking your status for a while, now. You can go anytime you want." That was odd. "Mora? You're not up to something are you?" The man smiled. "Go on. Go see that Major of yours." Odo needed no further prompting. Kira scrubbed the tears from her face as she answered the door. Odo was on the other side. "Major, I hope I'm not interr--" She hit him, too. "Don't you *ever*. *Dare*, to keep another secret from me again. Do you *hear* me!?" He wobbled, shocked at her outburst. "Nerys?" Dax favoured him with a lopsided grin, touching the matching bruise on her own jaw, "She's been like this lately." Odo refocussed on her. "Let me start over..." Kira Nerys burst out laughing. "I love you, too. Now come on in and we can talk. Until we get rid of Dax." It was the best smile she'd seen on his face in years. END. (yeeha!)