DISCLAIMER: Paramount owns their characters, I own mine. This concept is one they wouldn't touch with a barge pole, so no worries there. Please do not steal this story or any ideas from it, at least not without asking the author/s first.
NOTE: This story is based in an alternate universe, where the Occupation only lasted for 30 years, not 60 years. If you are interested in adding to this saga by writing a novella to go with this world, feel free to contact me.
For a room full of people, the docking bay was strangely subdued. The small group of enlisted personnel in the corner talked and chattered amongst themselves, but aside from glancing at the three lone ensigns, they said nothing to them.
It wouldn't have mattered much if they had, as each cadet was caught up in their own thoughts anyway. Kira had experienced it all before, when as a young militia officer she had arrived at her first posting. But even she hadn't expected the tension she was suffering now as they waited for the flagship of the Federation to arrive.
Dax had seven lifetimes of experience to help her cope with Jadzia's first posting, but even so she was feeling the tension as she stood with her friends. Her lifetimes of experience, boiled down into the words, 'just try and relax, there's nothing to be afraid of,' would be of no help to her friends. The most she could do was to be calm and centred, and hopefully calm the others by a form of sympathetic osmosis.
Julian, supremely confident in his own abilities, was more concerned with his first impression than the fact that he was about to spend three years on the Enterprise. Getting bored, he reached into his pocket and pulled out a red ball. Just as he was about to bounce it against the wall though, he felt eyes burning into his neck, and turned to see Kira glaring at him.
"Oh no you don't Julian." She held out her hand and clicked her fingers impatiently. "Come on, hand it over."
Bashir looked hurt. "Nerys, I'm not hurting anyone. Besides, we've got another hour to wait until the Enterprise arrives, and there's not much to do here."
"You bounce that ball here, and you'll be waiting in the infirmary!" She opened her mouth to say more, but was interrupted by the ping of the computer.
'Attention all hands, attention all hands. The Enterprise will be docking in two minutes. Repeat, the Enterprise will be docking in two minutes. All outgoing personnel are to board through docking port six. That is all.'
The trio turned to the window to watch, silently, as the huge starship glided into the bay, the little space-bees whizzing around her, trailing lines and cables and connecting them to various ODN plugs on her surface.
"She's a big ship," Bashir whispered, and for the first time since he'd been told of his posting, he felt nervous.
"And in a few minutes, she'll be our new home." Dax smiled.
Commander William Riker slowly paced along the lines of newly transferred personnel, noting races and corps as he went. Barely glancing at the ensigns, he marched around to the front of the room and turned to face the group.
"Welcome to the Enterprise. I'm Commander Riker, the First Officer, and I'll be the command officer you will probably deal with most often." He smiled slightly and glanced at a padd. "Now, the Lieutenant here will show the engineering and science personnel to their posts, while I speak to our new ensigns. Dismissed." Nodding at the exiting men and women, he waited until there was only himself and the three ensigns remaining, before picking up another padd and walking over to stand in front of them.
"I've read your service records, and I cannot understand why any of you are still in Starfleet, let alone posted to this ship." He glared at the officers as he marched up and down in front of them, all the while tapping the edge of the padd against his palm. "Disobedience of nearly all Starfleet regulations, harbouring a possibly dangerous life-form, conduct unbecoming an officer, this list would see most officers dismissed from Starfleet without a second chance." He stopped in front of Kira and roared at her "And if you think you'll be able to build an illegal still on this ship, you're very much mistaken!" Calming down, he jerked his head towards the door. "Now get out, and if I see any of you before me for any reason, I'll have no hesitation about court-martialling you and having you discharged. Dismissed."
Once in the corridor, the trio watched their commanding officer march off towards a turbolift and heaved sighs of relief. Kira was the only one to comment as they turned towards their quarters. "If I ever meet that shapeshifter again, I'm going to kill him!"
Odo stared again at the name of the ship which would be carrying him to the negotiations. It hadn't changed since the last time he tried. Enterprise; where his three cadets were stationed. He'd kept watch on their careers so far, and couldn't help wondering if he'd done enough to help them out of their sentence. Probably not, though.
The publicly accessible logs showed that each of the three still harboured some pent-up emotions about him, and showing his face around any of them could likely result in some serious venting. Still, it was an opportunity to make a name for himself, even if it was as a negotiator's assistant.
One day, he would be an Ambassador in full; and he already learned one rule - the more annoying the Ambassador, the better the service.
"As this is your first combat exercise against me," Worf had a sneer on his face as he faced off against Kira in the holosuite, "I won't expect much of you. I will grade you according to your skill level, and give you attainable goals to reach. Eventually, you will be up to an acceptable skill level for a security officer of the Enterprise." He crouched down and nodded sharply. "Defend yourself!", then hurled himself towards Kira, a blood-curdling battle cry coming from his throat.
Kira dropped to the floor as he reached her and stuck out a leg, tripping him up mid-flight. Whirling, she punched the back of one of his knees, causing him to stumble further. Already off balance, Worf turned to face his opponent, and discovered a new world of pain as she slammed a double punch into his lower groin.
He collapsed to the floor, stunned and embarrassed, and clutching at the pain in a futile bid to make it stop. Kira had moved away and was standing, motionless, in a corner of the room. But it was a long two minutes before the Commander even looked at her. Worf eventually staggered to his feet and faced the woman, anger seething from every pore.
"That was the most dishonourable display I have ever seen, Ensign!" He stalked closer to her, his fangs bared as if to rip out her throat there and then. "I can understand why Starfleet wanted to expel you, you have shown you have no honour. You are nothing more than..." he searched for a suitable word for a moment, "Than a Romulan!"
"Permission to speak, sir." Kira felt the anger rising, but fought to hold it in check. Worf didn't bother answering, just nodded, so she continued. "I spent four years in the Bajoran Militia, sir, patrolling the border between us and the Cardassian Empire, and I learnt a few things there. I watched good soldiers die because they followed every rule to the letter. And I watched them die when they threw the rules away and did what they wanted too." She paused for breath, still shaking with anger. "I have plenty of honour, sir, but when I know I can't win a fight, I'll do whatever it takes to keep myself and my fellow soldiers alive and to finish the mission. And if I have to break some Klingon rules about honour to do it, then that's what it takes. Sir."
Worf didn't spare her a glance. "Ensign, as far as I'm concerned, you have no honour. I will inform Captain Picard that I wish you to be transferred to another posting as soon as it can be arranged. Dismissed."
Nerys left the room and managed to make it back to her quarters before the tears overwhelmed her.
"Captain, I formally request that you transfer that female off this ship!" Worf looked about to burst, forcing both Riker and Picard to smother their smiles. "Her record speaks for itself, she has no right to be here." He drew himself up in righteous indignation. "As far as I'm concerned, she has no right to be in Starfleet, she should have been expelled as soon as the incident with the Shapeshifter became known."
"Mr Worf, may I remind you that the 'Shapeshifter' you just mentioned, is a now a respected member of the Federation Diplomatic Corp, and will shortly be boarding this ship to take part in the mining negotiations." Picard's expression was stern as he faced Worf. "I have read the report on Ensigns Bashir, Dax, and Kira, and I also hold concerns about their past behaviour. However, I would have been more concerned had they not protected Envoy Odo and merely handed him back to Doctor Mora after his plea for sanctuary. Now," his expression softened to a smile again, "I suggest you get used to the Ensign being part of your team. She has more experience than almost anyone else within security, yourself excepted, and I would advise you to put that experience to good use. So, request denied. Dismissed."
The officers watched the indignant man leave, then both broke into chuckles. "I've never seen him so annoyed! What did she do to him?"
Riker grinned. "I don't have the details yet, but apparently he was giving has his traditional security welcome--"
"You mean he was testing her unarmed combat skills."
The grin widened. "That's right, and she apparently won by placing both her hands in a rather delicate part of his anatomy with a great deal of force."
Picard's eyebrows shot up. "Did she..." he breathed. "No wonder he was so upset." He picked up the padd with Kira's military record on it and smiled. "I would have expected Worf to know better after reading her record."
"I don't believe they taught Ro-Sha-M'Bo at the Academy when he was there. Perhaps we should have Kira teach it to him."
Picard appeared to give the idea some thought, contemplating the mental image of the enormous Klingon being taught by the lithe Bajoran. "No, I don't think so. But I want you to keep an eye on things, you know how Worf is when he doesn't like someone."
"Don't worry sir," Riker turned to go, "I'll keep a special eye on shift rosters for the next few weeks."
Odo smirked at the dress uniforms. Obviously, he'd been temporarily upgraded to Ambassador for the duration. He briefly wondered about the basically brown ensemble he currently 'wore' and what impression that made on the Captain and his assembled underlings. If it did, they didn't show it, keeping their faces as crisp and starched as their uniforms.
"Ambassador," the Captain stepped forward. "I am Captain Jean-Luc Picard, and may I welcome you to the Starship Enterprise?" He offered a hand.Odo merely imitated the Bajoran pagh-offering bow at him and murmured his thanks. Picard cleared his throat and wiped his hand on his uniform.
Odo: one, Enterprise: nil.
"This Commander William Riker, my first officer. Security Chief Lieutenant-Commander Worf - he'll be your escort for the duration of the trip."
Odo was less than impressed by the Klingon, especially after what he'd heard from various sources about the man. "You mean he's the man who won't be trusting me for the duration."
The look that, if briefly, crossed their faces clearly read, Oh, shit...
Odo: 2, Enterprise: nil.
The Captain smiled nervously. "These precautions are only for your own protection, Ambassador. Rest assured that --"
"Tell me, Captain; is there anyone on board at the moment who poses an immediate threat to my person?" He was getting better at AmbassadorSpeak. Maybe he should write a phrasebook.
Picard conceded the point. "No, but we prefer to be prepared for any eventuality. Quite a few Ambassadors tend to acquire enemies."
Such as myself? This might actually be interesting... Odo smiled. "Very well. I'll let one of your security people tag along if they keep a discreet distance."
Picard introduced the rest. Odo already recognised Deanna from her mother's descriptions. The android briefly fascinated him, but Odo could sympathise with a fellow freak and didn't ask probing questions. "If you wish, the rest of your luggage will be beamed directly to your quarters."
"This is my luggage, Captain. I prefer to travel light."
"Understood. I'm afraid to announce that some of the other delegates in this matter will be joining you for this trip. The Lexington has encountered a bit of trouble and can't pick them up on time."
"Really? What sort of trouble."
"A temporal anomaly, to be precise, sir," informed the Android. "Currently, the Lexington is 'trapped' in last Tuesday. It is a fascinating phenomenon that--"
"Mr. Data..." Picard warned. "If you will oblige us, Ambassador, your quarters are this way."
It wasn't until he was in the turbolift with the others that he decided to get rid of his current security measures. He leaned towards the Councellor and said in a very companionable voice, "Lwaxana sends her regards."
The panic in the room increased exponentially. Odo had to fight to keep a straight face. "You met my mother?"
"On DS9," Odo said, still companionable. "She told me all about her favourite people here on the Enterprise. Including you, Woof." The chilling glare the Klingon gave him had absolutely no effect. "Oh, I'm sorry. Mr Woof." The Klingon produced a low growl.
Odo: 3, Enterprise: nil.
He must be getting better at parties, Odo decided; he was starting to be entertaining rather than entertainment. Of course, the subject matter was probably the source of his current ease. It was always easier to make fun of someone else than himself. "...and he has the cutest nickname - 'microbrain'." Odo smiled. His audience, several other delegates, roared laughing.
Behind him, Worf initiated a commcall and agitatedly, if quietly, argued with the individual on the other end.
Odo: 7, Enterprise: nil.
A few minutes later, Odo had a strange sensation that someone was glaring at him. Turning, he smothered a smile at the sight of Kira Nerys standing beside Worf. "Ensign, what a pleasant surprise! I see you've graduated at last, congratulations."
Nerys continued glaring as Worf spoke. "Ensign Kira has been assigned to be your security detail for the duration of your time with us, ambassador. I'm afraid that I have various other matters that require my urgent attention now." He turned but fired a parting shot before leaving. "As you both know each other, I'm sure you'll get along without trouble."
"Rrrrr..." managed Ensign Kira. If looks could kill, he'd already have been in a morgue several years ago. Kira's look imparted the impression that, had it been able to time travel, it would have traced him right back to his arrival in the Denorious Belt and done in with him then and there.
Hmmm... Odo: 7, Enterprise: 1... Seems an olive branch is necessary.
"Gentlemen, this is the esteemed Ensign Kira Nerys, to whom I owe my very presence here. Were it not for her valiant efforts, I would still be considered nothing more than a performing animal in Doctor Mora's travelling freak show." That definitely made an impression. "Do you know how Starfleet rewarded her actions?" They listened raptly, held in his spell. "They fined her five hundred credits and suspended her chances of promotion for three years. She, and her two friends her helped the both of us, had to undertake a torturous little adventure in the wilds of Risa just to get their credits back."
"No..." breathed one of the delegates.
"From what I hear, they came this close," he gestured with finger and thumb, "to dying out there. Twice."
Murmur, murmur, murmur.
"It's true, I read the transcripts. They nearly crossed the path of the Klingon and Romulan teams, mid-battle - that's one; and they were forced to eat Jak'amta lizard on their hike."
"Jak'amta?"
"If you don't remove every trace of their intestines, the meat is deadly poison."
Gasp, murmur, murmur, murmur...
"Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to treat one of my heroes to a drink."
Kira was silent all the way to the bar, where they sat and stared at each other for a few minutes. Her first words were, "Is that true about the Jak'amta?"
"Oh, yes. I looked it all up."
A moment of profound silence followed. Eventually, she said, "Good thing I didn't make it into sausages."
Odo smiled. So he had managed to save some face. "I was also serious about that drink."
"I can't, I'm on duty."
"You can still drink something." At that point, the bartender arrived. "What's the most decadent drink an Ensign on duty can consume?"
The bartender had piercing eyes and an amazing voice that whispered while carrying to her intended audience. "That would be a Slovian Scintillator, the taste of paradise without the inebriation."
Kira's eyebrow raised, "Well, I'm sold."
"Two?" Asked the barkeep.
"No, just one for the Ensign, here." The bartender looked confused, then shrugged and brought out an amazing array of bottles and one glass.
"I know you can drink. Not feeling sociable?" Kira asked.
"It's - not like that. I've found I have - unusual reactions; to all sorts of things."
"I heard the fried chicken story."
Did you now? "Anyway, the corps diplomatique made me promise not to try anything new until after my mission."
She must have noticed he was slightly uncomfortable. "Oh? What bought this about?"
"A formal dinner."
"And?" She demanded, "What happened."
"I... don't remember." Odo took a breath before elucidating. "Apparently, my last words were 'weeble weeble sclup', and then I - fell over."
"Whoah..."
"I woke up three days later with the equivalent of a splitting headache and some - skin discolouration."
She was positively grinning. "Odo, you may have made my life Hell a year ago, but you just made my day."
"I'm glad we're even. How - did I do it?"
"I never said anything about 'even'. And thanks to that little anecdote, I now thoroughly believe in Cosmic Irony." Kira's drink arrived. It was at least five different colours and served in a glass big enough to wash in. Unperturbed, Kira took a sip. "Mmm! Just as advertised... Okay, mister Ambassador; you have a temporary reprieve."
"Ah. Thank you."
"For tonight."
Odo was enjoying the last leg of his tour, the inexorable trip to the one place everyone knew he didn't like - medical; when the klaxons sounded. He froze in alarm as the computer calmly announced:
"Warning: Atmospheric contamination in Science Bay Three. Toxin levels are currently exceeding safety standards."
There was a compression of air, and a Doppler-distorted, “Dax is in there!”
Odo took off after Bashir. "So are the other delegates!"
Kira launched herself after Odo. "You idiot! You'll kill yourself!"
At least Bashir had the presence of mind to wear a filter mask. He'd personally dragged three ambassadors out of the fumes before they got there, and was working on a fourth, his eyes tearing up and swelling from irritation. When he spoke, his voice was muffled by the mask.
"Keep clear! Whatever it is, it's potent stuff."
"How the flakk can you rescue what you can't see?"
"I know how to go by bloody feel."
Odo harrumphed at the both of them and stepped smartly into the cloud of haze. He instantly adjusted his senses to pick up the infrared, and thereby see all those overcome on the floor. He handed five others out to Kira and Bashir, and he still hadn't found the Trill. No-one here had cold hands. The fog-smoke was painful to step into, yet somehow filling at the same time. Odo scoured the lab, searching for the missing Ensign.
It took him two minutes to find her, or more accurately, her left foot. The rest of her was on the other side of a pressure door, designed to seal off the rest of the area from toxins inside. Dax had got all of them out, then turned back to run in and fetch something. The door had closed on her ankle, tripping her, and trapping her, inside. She'd been overcome by fumes, yet was clutching a piece of jewellery. The things they die for . . . Odo quickly found the emergency cache of oxygen masks and strapped one onto her face, checking her pulse. Still breathing. Good. Next was the puzzle of how to free her without trapping them. He could only force the doors further apart by a matter of millimetres for a matter of moments, which meant he could only move her captured foot inside, with the contaminant.
And that left only one alternative.
Glin Vidubb had experimented, once he found out about Odo's subspace pocket, with using the shapeshifter as a means of emergency rescue. Odo could, and had, been able to carry a fully-grown humanoid out of an otherwise sealed environment by holding them Aside while he slithered out. There was only one drawback - any subjects who were awake for their little trip inside Odo quickly went insane.
Well, Dax was already unconscious . . .
The rest of the medical team caught up with Bashir and Kira seeing to the nine unconscious delegates.
Crusher took one look at her tricorder and announced the results to her team. "These people are all suffering from Barium exposure. There must have been a leak in there."
"It's - been contained," informed Bashir.
"Where is Ambassador Odo?" Asked one of the nurses, slightly nervous about the shapeshifters presence.
"He contained it," announced Kira. "He's inside the bay. With Ensign Dax."
Bashir was the next to utter a monotone confession. "We lost all life signs in there a minute before you got here."
To her infinite surprise, Kira found herself in tears. "Damnit! Why don't you people ever run?"
Pathetically, Bashir patted her on the shoulder. "I ran."
Pain. Everything hurt.
For an illogical moment, Odo was afraid to open his eyes. Perhaps the last thirty years had been a hallucination, and he was going to wake to discover he was being leaned over by Glin Vidubb. Maybe he was going to be in for even more tests.
Odo decided to risk it. He opened his eyes.
There was a Klingon scowling down at him. Almost as bad. Worf frowned. "What, exactly, do you claim to have been doing with the Ensign?"
"Actually, I just saved her life." He was propped up against a wall, with Ensign Jadzia Dax's inert form sprawled across his. "There was a Barium leak in Science Bay Three. The only way out was down. She's been exposed to a massive dose. Need to get her to help. Only I can't seem to get up."
The Klingon growled, but he did lift Dax like a doll. He offered no assistance at all to Odo.
Never mind it, he told himself, you have a nice, handy wall to pull yourself up with. Much more useful than a Klingon. He was, he had to admit, completely correct, and had to agree with himself. The pain was more endurable when he was moving. It just took a while to actually want to move.
The four stood in front of the Captain. Three were a bundle of nerves and the fourth, judging by appearances, was just sorely vexed. Ambassador Odo had folded his arms and was leaning, almost casually, on the back of a chair in Doctor Crusher's office in the Infirmary. Picard couldn't achieve that level of relaxation combined with anger. He had to pace.
"Why is it, that when all four of you are in the same area, there are fireworks?" He journeyed back to the other side of the room, pondering this question. The entire senior staff, gathered at the doorway, watched his tour. "Just three of you together are enough to attract phenomenon rarely seen outside of Haze Week at the academy, but add Odo into the mix, and Haze Week starts to look like a tea party."
"Sir," said Bashir, "Permission to speak?"
Picard was interesting in what this young man could say that was possibly a defence. "Granted."
"At least this time it was an accident - sir."
Picard massaged the bridge of his nose, "Ensign, your use of the phrase 'this time' does not inspire confidence. It implies that there were, and could yet be, other times when it is not an accident. As it is, the incident in Science Bay Three fell two seconds short of being an outright political disaster, not to mention an intensely personal one for the surviving crew. The fact that 'this time' it was an accident is, surprisingly, not my concern." Another tour to the other side helped him compose his thoughts. "Your actions, together and apart, endangered the rest of the crew, and this ship, not to mention the personage of one Ambassador. It is only by sheer luck that all four of you are standing here."
Odo intervened, his voice somewhat hoarse. "Excuse me, Captain, but I'd like to bring it to your attention that, were it not for the Ensigns speed and quick thinking, several people might have been dead, and all of the valuable artefacts from Loshew IX lost. Personally, I will be commending them for their attention and concern in this matter, as their actions saved the delegates in question."
Picard harrumphed. "You have a point. Security has reviewed the visual logs from the science labs, and it does seem that the entire incident was brought about by the Romulan delegate." He turned back to the ensigns. "But what I don't understand is how the three of you always seem to be in the middle of whatever is happening. If it was up to me, I'd have all of you transferred on to four different ships, but Starfleet prefers me to act only after a disaster involving loss of life. Consider yourselves reprimanded; but this won't turn up on your records owing to the fact that all of you are able to stand here. Dismissed."
Ambassador Odo, who had apparently lapsed into a contrite silence since his speech, now made a slight noise, like a mouse coming down from a bad trip, and collapsed onto the floor. Everyone else was frozen in place at the sight of the enigmatic Ambassador dissolving in front of them. Only Data had taken out a tricorder.
The Ensigns, however, had flown into action the second he hit the floor. Kira and Bashir were disembowelling a potted palm, dumping the tree and soil on the carpet, while Dax attempted to cradle Odo's form.
"Try and hold on," the Trill instructed. "Concentrate on the sound of my voice. Concentrate. You feel very light, almost floating..."
The other two returned with the empty pot. "Sorry about the dirt, Odo," Kira told him, "but it's our best chance in the least time."
"D'un worry..." managed Odo, "Need th' sil'con." He dissolved completely, tucking himself into the makeshift container.
All three Ensigns took a side and hurtled into the main infirmary, barging through the collection of senior officers in the door.
Manoeuvring the container onto a bio-bed, Bashir immediately took charge. "I need twenty cc's of silicate detox, stat! And a sun lamp!"
Doctor Crusher appeared at his side. "What's going on here?"
"Ambassador Odo collapsed," informed Dax, setting up the lamp bought to her by a bemused nurse.
"We're doing what we can for him." Bashir injected the detox while Kira picked up a tricorder.
"His body temperature's dropping," Kira told him.
"Flakk! Do you have any Mountain Lightening?"
"No!" Her reply was just a little too emphatic, and Worf made a note to perform a routine quarters inspection that night.
"Doctor, we need some strong alcohol. The more powerful, the better."
Dax, meanwhile, had carefully wrapped the container in a heating blanket. Wordlessly, Crusher ducked back into her office and extracted a bottle from a cabinet. It was clear, and had no label. "I confiscated this off two other Ensigns who were brewing it in the lab. Will it do?"
Kira removed the lid and took a swig. She coughed. "...oh yeah..."
Carefully, capful by capful, Bashir poured the liquor onto Odo's surface. He eventually used a quarter of the bottle before they were satisfied that his condition was comfortably stable.
The three leaned back and sighed.
"I thought he was immune to radioactivity," said Crusher, her tricorder sweeping over the still-gelid patient.
"So did we," said Kira.
Dax shrugged. "I guess he's allergic to Barium."
"I think a closer analogy might be anaphylactic shock," Bashir stretched his neck tiredly. "His body was robust enough to deal with it when he was still 'feeding' on the radioactivity, but he gradually poisoned himself with the depleted Barium."
Odo's surface stirred, and a sluggish shapeshifter formed his body on the biobed. As an afterthought, he snagged the blanket and wrapped it around himself. "Thanks... The bottle, please?" Bashir handed it over, only to watch Odo down the lot. "Pretty weak, compared to your old mash, Ensign."
"Thank you, I think," snorted Kira. "If you die on us, I'll flakkin' kill you."
"No need. I'll recover." He gently placed his makeshift container on the floor. "Eventually."
"Need some pickled onions?" Dax volunteered.
"Just one bottle for a start."
Crusher eventually realised that she wasn't in control of this patient. "What is going on? You're treating my patient with alcohol and jars of pickles?"
"After he got over my mash at the Academy," Kira informed, "we had to watch him eat nearly a hundred jars of the things."
"Eighty-seven," Odo corrected. "I always feel like pickled onions after a good dose of alcohol. Does a power of good to my system."
Dax handed over a jar of onions and cloves suspended in vinegar, then turned her back as he proceeded to devour the onions whole. Crusher winced. "It gets worse," said Dax, back still turned.
"When he's done eating, he drinks the vinegar," Kira told her.
Crusher opened the door looking haggard and tempest-tossed. Picard feared to ask, but he had to. Admirals were hard to fob off with excuses. "Er. How is --" He did a double take at a food tray lodged in the wall. "How is the Ambassador?"
"So far, he's caused three fights, disrupted my log fifteen times, and reduced five of my assistants to tears; and that's just this morning." She took a ragged breath. "According to those Ensigns, he's getting better."
Picard managed to keep a straight face, although he strained several muscles in the process. "When will he be released?"
Beverly picked up Odo's medical padd grimly. "As soon as he can sign this. There's nothing more I can do for him here. I'll prescribe a course of exercise and supplements, but he's almost healed. I think."
"You think?" Picard was confused. "It's not like you to be so ambiguous about such things."
She threw up her hands in disgust. "The fact is that those three ensigns know more about him than I do. They lived with him for four weeks, they know how he reacts to substances." She shook her head. "And, I have to admit that their friendship is helping him along as well. They visit as often as they can and just talk with him about everything on the ship, what they're learning, anything that comes to mind." She picked up the padd again. "Now, the sooner I get him to sign this, the sooner I get my infirmary back."
The Enterprise had finally arrived at the site for the negotiations, and at last the seating arrangements had been sorted out. The delegates milled around the conference room for an hour, before one of them finally gave voice to the thought on everyone’s mind.
"He's late."
"He's never late." Ambassador Seth, chief Federation adjudicator and Odo's supervisor for the negotiations, was not impressed by the apparent tardiness of the Shapeshifter on the first day.
"Well this time he is late." The Romulan ambassador had met Odo on a previous negotiation, and didn't like the implications at all.
"You don't think someone actually killed him, do you?"
"Ha! Don't I wish!" The Ferengi had also met, and been bested by Odo at DS9. It was rumoured they had placed a contract on him, but so far no-one had tried to collect. At least, not until now.
"I wish that I wouldn't be first suspect."
The rest of them thought about that. Eventually, one of them ventured, "So . . . who's going to call the Enterprise?"
The first Kira heard about it was when the armoured security teams came barrelling towards her at maximum trot.
"Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut!"
"Ensign, report!" Ordered Worf, looking impressively battle-ready.
"Ambassador Odo entered his quarters over an hour ago and has yet to leave. I have been standing guard all that time, sir."
"You cannot be certain that you are still guarding him," said Worf. "We can't reach him on the comm, and the computer is uncertain of his location."
Kira gave up and stepped aside, pressing the chime in the process. No voice from within said anything, and her heart began to drop. Oh, Prophets, she thought. He's collapsed or dying in there and I didn't hear a thing.
Worf punched in the master code, obviously upset that he was born after the age of breaking down doors in an emergency. The team entered, joined by Kira, to face the most amazing thing they had ever seen.
Odo's quarters were a collection of freestanding art and other items that would, in any other circumstance, be called junk. A piece of debris sprang across the room to become part of a statue, than arced again into an interesting glass vase. It then decided to hang on the wall as an example of post-modernism.
"Odo," Kira called, "Visitors."
The post-modern painting became a tiny statue of a snail overhanging the table, then formed into the Ambassador, still spinning and gyrating in a music-less ballet.
"And stretch, and turn, and twist, and bounce." Odo followed his own directions before coming to a complete stop. "It's called 'exercise', Commander. I am supposed to be doing it, doctor's orders and all that rubbish." He glanced at the chrono. "I'll be at the negotiations shortly. Go on," he made flicking motions at them. "Go off an polish some knives or something. Shoo."
"At last. Nice of you to finally acknowledge that there is an intergalactic dispute going on." Seth's verbal barb apparently failed to hit home.
Odo merely slid into his chair and picked up the datapadd. "Q'Voth asteroid field dispute. Can't exactly split it down the middle, can we?"
"That," said Seth, "is why we are here."
"Likewise, processing claims on a one-to-one basis results in a war zone."
"They have no honour," growled the Klingon.
"This from the species responsible for the attack on Syralak 7…" the Romulan purred.
"I thought stone-castings were only allowed to those without sin,” insinuated the Terellian delegate.
There was a flurry of chirps, squeaks and scratches from the Q'Voth delegate, who happened to be an avian life form.
"The Ambassador of Q'Voth feels that her people should maintain the rights to their own system," said her translator.
"Tell her it's their own fault for selling the rights like they were hot cakes," sniped the Dyg'rassi Ambassador
"I think we'll find that all those claims being sold were entirely fabricated by the Ferengi," snarled a bear-like creature from Andtuvian 4.
The Ferengi representative grinned. "You know what they say, gentlemen, Caveat Emptor . . ."
"I'll give you 'Caveat Emptor' in a second," threatened the representative for the Nanotuwuno.
Odo, very quietly, pinched what could have been the bridge of his nose.
Seth interrupted the resultant bickering with; "Any votes, Sentients, as to whether we serve sentence on the Ferengi now, and try to work things out afterwards?"
The vote was carried eight to one.
It was, eventually, sorted out, dividing the fighting factions by 'buffer zones' of other factions who would neither communicate with, nor even think of aiding the battles. The Ferengi were shut out permanently as part of their punishment for selling fraudulent mining claims, and a permanent Federation patrol was recommended to keep the blood cool on all sides. This, as a matter of course for most negotiations, took about a week to sort out.
"I must say, Ambassador, you're becoming a figure to watch out for."
"Should I thank you for that, or just be wary that you're on to me?" Polite laughter broke out. Odo had just gained another point in his little game. Worf was avoiding him like the plague, and the others present in ten-forward were trying to buttonhole him into telling another anecdote. There was only one person Odo was interested in seeing, and he couldn't catch so much as a glimpse. A hand wrapped itself around his arm. Odo followed it up to the surprisingly charming face of Ensign Kira.
"I'm sorry, gentlemen, but I do owe the Ambassador a drink."
There were surprised murmurs all around. Odo soon saw why. Ensign Kira Nerys looked very spectacular in a vamp dress.
"Impressed?"
"Stunned." He gave her another leisurely look. "I didn't realise Starfleet issued its female personnel such interesting diplomatic weapons."
Her laugh bought sunshine to her face, and Odo, for once, was at a loss for words. "Two Slovian Scintillators."
"You do realise that it could have unpredictable effects."
"I know; but life is a series of unpredictable events, just all strung together in the memory."
Odo toasted her. "To Kira Nerys, unsung philosopher." He slowly let the liquid pervade his matter, trying to taste it in his own way. When he opened his eyes, he discovered the unexpected. "Oh..." Everything was transformed.
"What is it?"
"Something in here has - mixed up my senses, somehow. I'm seeing the electromagnetic spectrum." He could trace cables inside walls as easily as if they were hung on the outside. Everyone in the room was surrounded by their own parcel of softly glowing light. Worf's, predictably, boiled like a fire every time the Klingon looked Odo's way. "Everything is..." he paused, searching for an appropriate description. He found one when he saw how Kira had changed. "Beautiful."
"Glad you're enjoying tonight."
"I just hope I remember it afterwards. For all we know, I could topple gently over at any minute."
Kira smiled affectionately. "I'll catch you."
THE END